Greetings everyone! And a
special welcome to all the new subscribers! Why not ask your email contacts if they
don't want to subscribe as
Wow! Another year had zipped by!
Would you believe that 2012 is just around the corner? This will be the
last letter for the year so let me wish you a Blessed Festive season! If
you are going to be travelling, please drive safely and take regular rest
Two freebies this time, one is
an eBook with muffin recipes and the other some nice Knorr recipes. Scroll
down to the Freebie section and download them.
The recipes this time are all
festive favourites, so scroll down and get some inspiration.
Just to let
everyone know that I reserve the right to use anything that arrives in my
email inbox either on my website or in my newsletter, unless it clearly
states that I am not allowed to do so.
For those of you who happen to
understand Afrikaans, if you are interested in really good Afrikaans
recipe Ebooks, scroll down to the Adverts section at the bottom of the
page and take aa look at what's available.
A Bit of Old
buses: fifty years ago
Fifty years ago today, on Wednesday 8 March 1961, I joined the
Johannesburg Transport Department as a learner bus conductor.
The Johannesburg Transport Department was a new name for what had
previously been known as Johannesburg Municipal Tramways, which began in
1906 when the first electric trams were introduced, replacing the old
horse-drawn trams which had been run by a private company. But the trams
were being phased out, so they decided to change the name, but members of
the running staff still referred to it as the JMT, and the letters JMT
still appeared on the sides of some buses until they were repainted.
There were six of us in the class, which met in the training school at the
trolley bus garage in Fordsburg, and it started off with the instructor,
Mr Venter, showing us how to make out cash and journey waybills, and in
the afternoon we learned how to punch tickets, only he would not let me do
it left-handed. But eventually he relented when he say I could punch
tickets much faster that way. We had bundles of loose tickets, which we
held together with knicker elastic (broekrek), and a bell punch which
punched a hole to indicate the stage where the passenger boarded. And the
auditors could count all the punched bits to check against the number of
tickets sold on the waybill.
The starting wage for a driver or conductor was 59c per hour, or R25.96
per week for a 44 hour week. It was a 6-day week of an average of 7 hours
20 minutes per day. Fares had been simplified with the introduction of
decimal currency the previous month: 5c for 1 stage, 7.5c for 3-5 stages,
and 10c for 6 stages and over. There were also higher fares for longer
journeys, but they were undertaken only by one-man operated single-deckers
going to Randburg. The simplification meant that old coins or new could be
used for the bus fare, 6d or 5c. A cup of tea or coffee in a local cafe
cost 5c, and an omelet and chips cost 35c.
The next two days at conductor school we practised selling each other
tickets and giving each other change. There was a platform with seats on
to simulate a moving bus, and we practised on that. At lunch time every
day we went to the gym up the road at the tram sheds for half an hour. We
had books of fares and stages for all the routes in the city and we had to
learn them off by heart, so there would be no undercharging or
overcharging. We learnt how to fill in accident and incident reports.
We were also taught the culture of the Department. My fellow-trainees were
all Afrikaans speaking, and since it was the time of apartheid, buses were
segregated. Most were for whites only, but up to five “Asiatics or
Coloureds” could be allowed to occupy the back seats upstairs, provided
there were no whites sitting in them. But there were some routes for
“Non-Europeans” only, and some for “Asiatics and Coloureds” only, to
Bertrams and Crown mines. The instructor told us we were never to refer to
black clients as “kaffirs”. That was a strict no-no. In the JMT they
referred to black clients as “kadallies”, I assume after Clements Kadalie,
a prominent black trade unionist of the 1920s.
After a week we were given our own kit – a change bag, a ticket punch, a
pair of nippers, bundles of tickets, and a practice note. We had to do two
trips as learners, under an experienced conductor, on every route, and he
would sign the practice note. For the first four days we were under
conductors who had qualified as instructors, and after that we could be
So on Wednesday 15th March 1961 I went to the Trojan depot in the south of
the city, early in the morning, and took the fares on two trips to South
Hills under the watchful eye of instructing conductor Tommy Crowne. Tommy
Crowne had a spreadover shift, which meant that he worked in the morning
and evening peaks, and had about four hours off in the middle of the day.
On the third day, Friday 17th March, I took my practice note in the break
and worked on the Malvern and Bez Valley trams, which was the last day of
scheduled service. The next day they were to be replaced by oil buses, and
there would be a special commemorative run to mark the end of the tram
service. So I can truly say that I was the last tram conductor ever to
join the JMT, and indeed the last tram conductor in South Africa, since
all the other cities had closed their tram services long before.
On the 18th April, having filled my practice note, four of us did the
final test. There was a written test and an oral test, in which we had to
be able to give the stages on any route. And the following day we did a
practical test. Having past, we were given cap badges and numbers, and
were measured for uniforms. The cap badges had numbers in order of
seniority, with drivers having odd numbers and conductors even numbers. So
driver 1 was the most senior driver, and conductor 2 was the most senior
conductor. I was 1456, which meant is was the 728th conductor, at the
bottom of the pecking order. The pecking order was important, because
every six months there was a reallocation of shifts, with those with the
lowest numbers getting the first choice, and those who had just started,
like me, were “casual” – each day we were told which shift we would be
doing the next day, usually for someone who was sick or on holiday. And on
our day off we still had to go in to see what shift we were allocated for
the following day — the scheduling section were far to busy to answer such
queries over the phone. Nowadays such things are probably handled by
computers. Back then personal computers were unheard of. On one route the
bus passed a computer bureau, and we could see row upon row of boxes the
size of stationery cabinets, with large reels of tape that jerked
backwards and forwards, and the whole roomful of them probably had less
capacity than a pocket flash drive.
I worked on the JMT for the next two years, and when I turned 21 I trained
as a driver as well, which took another month out of work with a practice
not, driving every route, even if one knew them as a conductor. With the
trolley buses one had to remember the location of insulators, and how to
get to the right stand for the trip. After passing out i went back to my
picked shift as a conductor, but being able to drive gave more
opportunities for overtime.
In 1963 I resigned from the JMT and went to study at the University of
Natal in Pietermaritzburg, but as soon as I had written my last exam in
November, I went back to Johannesburg, and drove buses during the long
vac. I preferred driving, because when one’s shift was over one could go
home, whereas conductors still had to count their takings, enter up their
cash waybills and pay in.
And when I went to study in the UK in 1966, I worked for 6 months as a
driver with London Transport. One of the perks of the job was free travel
on town and country buses and the Underground, so I used the opportunity
to explore London and environs.
For pet lovers - a
The following was found posted
very low on a refrigerator door.
Dear Dogs and Cats:
The dishes on the floor with the paw prints are yours and contain your
food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print
in the middle of my plate does not mean that is suddenly your food, nor do
I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me
to the top of the stairs is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help
because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about
this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your
comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It
Is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to
the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out
and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space that you
are taking up, is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some
miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under
the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door
I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline
attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other
dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on
the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here....you don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
That's why they call it “fur”-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who
are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) don't smoke or drink,
(8) don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children...
Seeing that photography is my
passion I thought it about time to feature a South African photographer in
my newsletter. I have been a fan of Andy for some time now and would like
to share the link to her blog. She is a great photographer and is
fortunate enough to live in the Fairest Cape where great landscapes just
beg to be photographed.
to view her blog and while you are there subscribe to her newsletter as
Mirna is an educational
psychologist from Stellenbosch. She taught at several schools,
amongst others Stellenbosch High School, Bloemhof Girls’ High and Jan
Kriel School for learners with barriers to learning. She is a mother,
loves art, the ocean and children.
Mirna will be back in the new year, busy with year end tasks and will then
take a well earned break
You are welcome to comment or send
questions to her at
I will now start a series on the South African National Parks. National
parks offer visitors an unparalleled diversity of adventure tourism
opportunities including game viewing, bush walks, canoeing and exposure to
cultural and historical experiences.
Fifteen of South Africa's 21 national parks offer park or camp-run
accommodation. Most parks and rest-camps have retail facilities and
restaurants. Across the parks, there are a total of 6 000 beds and 1 000
camping and caravan sites, which can accommodate almost
12 000 overnight guests.
Namaqua National Park
You'll know when you're in the Namaqua National Park - a tapestry of
brilliant colours unfolds enticingly along the winding roads in August and
September. Butterflies, birds and long-tongued flies dart around among the
flowers, seemingly overwhelmed by the abundance and diversity.
With its winter rainfall, Namaqualand is home to the richest bulb flora of
any arid region in the world and more than a 1 000 of its estimated 3 500
plant species are found nowhere else on earth. Fields of flowers,
star-studded nights, quiver trees, enormous granite outcrops and the icy
Atlantic are just some of the sights to catch.
The Namaqua National Park is on the western edge of the Northern Cape, in
the world's only arid biodiversity hotspot, and is home to the world's
smallest tortoise, the Namaqua speckled padloper.
Come join me on
. I update my status daily.
The History of
I thought this might be of
interest to overseas readers, I will be featuring more sections in future
If the history of South Africa is in large part one of racial
divisiveness, today it can also be seen as the story of the creation -
from tremendous diversity - of a single nation.
Unearthing our human ancestors
A team of researchers from South Africa, Israel and Canada, led by
Canadian anthropologist Professor Michael Chazan and Dr Liora Horwitz of
Jerusalem's Hebrew University, has found man-made artefacts, thought to be
at least 2-million years old, in a cave in the Northern Cape.
The Wonderwerk (Afrikaans, meaning "miracle") cave, located 45km from
Kuruman in the Northern Cape province, is a huge structure that has
yielded a significant record of human history spanning hundreds of
thousands of years. Ancient tools discovered in the cave are similar in
age to those found at the bottom of Tanzania's Olduvai Gorge.
The 30 artefacts, mostly small tools, are among the oldest known items of
their kind and provide evidence that our ancestors lived in caves even
earlier than was previously thought. This important South African find is
the result of more than 60 years of work on the site.
Because of the key role it has played in providing clues to our human
existence, the Wonderwerk cave and its surroundings were proclaimed a
national heritage site in 1993 and are currently on the Unesco World
Heritage tentative list for South Africa. Although it is a valuable
research site the cave is open to the public on an appointment basis.
A shelter for many
Bushman paintings on the Wonderwerk cave's walls have been dated back some
10 000 years. The cave was first inhabited by white settlers in the early
20th century, when the farmer P.E. Bosman and his family lived there
between 1909 and 1911 while he was building the present homestead. He
later used the cave as a shelter for stock.
Later, other farmers exploited the cave's abundant bat guano for
commercial purposes. Although the mining unfortunately destroyed much of
the natural sediment in the upper levels it also led to the discovery of
the first artefacts, alerting the archaeological community to the
potential importance of the site. The first excavations began in 1940.
The cave was owned by the Bosman and Nieuwoudt families until 1993 when
they generously handed it over to the McGregor Museum in Kimberley, an
institution that is active in a range of fields including archaeology and
military and cultural history. The museum now oversees all scientific
activity at the site.
The 30 most recently found artefacts were found at the bottom-most level
of the Wonderwerk cave and are believed to have been left in the cave by
its former dwellers, not washed into it from the outside. The deeper the
excavation, the older the layer, and the bottom level has been dated back
two million years by researchers using a combination of methods, including
palaeomagnetic and cosmogenic burial dating techniques.
Palaeomagnetic dating is based on a global time scale that tracks changes
in the orientation and intensity of the earth's magnetic field over time,
while cosmogenic burial dating is based on radioactive decay of a pair of
cosmogenic nuclides. Unlike the similar technique of carbon dating, it can
measure extremely old dates.
While the oldest known stone tools, found in Ethiopia, date back
2.4-million years, those found inside Wonderwerk provide clues to the
oldest known intentional cave dwelling by human ancestors, or hominids.
Out of the numerous hominid species that lived in the area at the time,
the most likely manufacturer of the tools, say researchers, is Homo
Compared to modern humans, Homo habilis was short in stature and had
unusually long arms, with a skeletal structure similar to that of today's
primates. The species was unknown until a specimen, consisting of bone
from the head and hand, was discovered in Olduvai in 1960 by the Leakey
Shortly afterwards a multidisciplinary team comprising Kenyan
archaeologist Louis Leakey, British primatologist John Napier, and South
African palaeoanthropologist Phillip Tobias studied the specimen
extensively before making their announcement in 1964 that it belonged to a
new species of man.
The name, meaning "handy man" in reference to its tool-making abilities,
was suggested by Raymond Dart, the renowned Australian anthropologist.
Dart is best known for his discovery of the skull of the little Taung
Child in the same region as the Wonderwerk Cave, which led to his
subsequent announcement of the new species Australopithecus africanus.
The work of millions of years
At 139m in depth horizontally, Wonderwerk is big enough to shelter many
families and their livestock. The cave is a solution cavity, which means
that it was filled with water millions of years ago. Located in the
Kuruman Hills, erosion on the hillside has exposed one end of the cave,
and today the only permanent water source is the Boesmansgat (Afrikaans,
meaning "Bushman's hole") sinkhole some 12km away, and a seep on Gakorosa
Hill 5km south of the complex.
Geologically, the structure consists of stratified dolomitic limestone
belonging to the 2.3-billion year old Ghaap Plateau Dolomite Formation.
The almost perfectly flat Ghaap Plateau sits some 1 130m above sea level
and extends 150km from east to west, between the Harts River valley and
the Kuruman Hills.
The plateau is made up largely of calcrete, a mix of sand, gravel, clay
and other materials cemented together by calcium carbonate. The calcrete
is covered with sparse soil and sits on bedrock of dolomite or calcium
manganese carbonate, containing numerous caves, sinkholes and underground
The Ghaap Plateau is notable as the location of the underground freshwater
cave known as Boesmansgat, the scene of many a world deep diving record.
The 13-year-old men's world record for cave diving is held by South
African Nuno Gomes, with Gauteng resident Verna van Schaik holding the
women's record. It is also the place where the plant Hoodia, currently
fashionable as an appetite suppressant and diet-aid, is primarily found.
The bedrock in the front of the cave is covered by 4m of almost horizontal
deposit layers. Research reveals that the uppermost metre spans the past
300 000 years, while the bottom layer reaches back to 2-million years.
Investigation of the layers shows human occupation at all levels.
All archaeological material brought out of the Wonderwerk cave is now held
by the McGregor Museum. These items include decorated ostrich eggshells,
pollen dating back about 400 000 years, animal bones and remains including
those of a now extinct species of horse, engraved stones, and stone
implements such as Acheulean handaxes, which belong to the Acheulean tool
industry from the Lower Palaeolithic era.
The area's renowned rock paintings were crafted in a variety of media
ranging from red and yellow ochres of local origin to crushed plant roots
The freebie this time is a
recipe eBook with Muffin recipes,
right click here to download.
The second freebie contains Knorr recipes,
right click here to
If at first you don't succeed, then sky diving is not for you.
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1.A group of rhinos is called a ‘crash’.
2.White rhinos aren’t white (and black rhinos aren’t black). The white
rhino’s name is taken from the Afrikaans word describing its mouth: ‘weit’,
meaning ‘wide’. Early English settlers in South Africa misinterpreted the
‘weit’ for ‘white’.
3.Rhinos are fast! They can run up to 30–40 miles per hour, which may not
sound like much, but if one is running straight towards you it feels like
a NASCAR race car is coming your way.
4.Rhino pregnancies last 15-16 months. Wow!
5.A rhino’s skin is much softer than it looks, and is actually quite
sensitive to sunburns and insect bites (that’s why rhinos like rolling in
the mud so much – it helps to protect them from the sunburns and insects).
6.Contrary to the common myth, there is no evidence that rhinos stamp out
7.The white rhino is the largest rhino (and the largest land mammal after
the elephant). They can weigh up to 6,000 pounds. The Sumatran rhino is
the smallest rhino, weighing in at a mere 1,300–2,000 pounds.
8.Rhinos have poor eyesight, but very well-developed senses of smell and
hearing. They will charge at you when startled–the best way to escape is
by climbing a tree, if one is handy!
9.African rhinos have a symbiotic relationship with oxpeckers, also called
‘tick birds’. In Swahili, the oxpecker is called ‘askari wa kifaru’, which
means ‘the rhino’s guard’. The oxpecker eats ticks and other insects it
finds on the rhino, and creates a commotion when it senses danger.
10.Most rhinos use piles of dung to leave ‘messages’ for other rhinos.
Nuances in the smell of dung can tell a rhino a lot about others in the
area. Each rhino’s smell identifies its owner as unique. The smell is
different for young vs. adult animals, for males vs. females, and females
in estrus vs. non-reproductive females. Combined with urine left along
trails, dung piles create invisible ‘borders’ around a rhino’s territory.
11.Rhinos have existed on earth for more than 50 million years, and once
roamed throughout North America and Europe (as well as Asia and Africa).
12.Throughout their history, rhinos have been a very diverse group. The
extinct rhino, Paraceratherium, was the largest land mammal that ever
lived and resembled a big, muscular giraffe. Telecoeras was a
single-horned, hippo-like grazer common in North America.
13.The book, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, written by L. Frank Baum and
illustrated by W.W. Denslow, differs a lot from the classic movie and
actually has a reference to rhinos. Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man
and the Lion each get to meet the Wizard individually and he appears
differently to each of them. To Dorothy, he appears as a huge head, to the
Scarecrow as a beautiful woman, to the Lion as a great ball of fire, and
to the Tin Man as a terrible beast. The beast is described as such: ‘It
was nearly as big as an elephant, and the green throne seemed hardly
strong enough to hold its weight. The Beast had a head like that of a
rhinoceros, only there were five eyes in its face. There were five long
arms growing out of its body and it also had five long, slim legs. Thick
woolly hair covered every part of it, and a more dreadful-looking monster
could not be imagined.’
Somehow, this never made it to the film version.
14.Three of the five surviving rhino species–black, Javan, and
Sumatran–are Critically Endangered, which means there is at least a 50%
chance that these species will become extinct within three generations
(for rhinos, this means about 30-60 years).
15.The ancient woolly rhino, whose entire body was covered in a thick,
shaggy coat, was hunted by early humans and is depicted in cave paintings
dating back more than 30,000 years ago. The Sumatran rhino is the closest
living relative of the extinct woolly rhino, and they’ve got the hair to
16.The black rhino has a prehensile lip which allows it to feed on trees
and shrubs (the other African species, the white rhino, has a long, flat
lip for grazing on grasses).
17.The Javan rhino is the rarest land mammal in the world. Less than 50
individuals survive in the wild!
18.Not all rhinos are solitary. Both black and white rhinos commonly live
in extended family groups, typically comprised of females and calves.
19.Although science has proven rhino horn to be void of any curative
medicinal properties, it is still illegally used in traditional Chinese
medicines to treat a variety of ailments–from fevers to boils, liver
dysfunction, cancer, and even devil possession. Contrary to a common
misconception, one of the few things rhino horn is not used for is libido.
The burgeoning demand for the horn stems almost exclusively from East and
Southeast Asia–predominantly from China and Vietnam–and has fueled
unprecedented poaching of these magnificent animals. As a result, they are
now poached at a rate of at least one per day. In 2010, at least 333
rhinos were killed by poachers in South Africa alone. Already this year,
the country has lost over 280!
20.Sumatran, black and white rhinos all have two horns, Javan and greater
one-horned rhinos have one horn (and some female Javan rhinos don’t appear
to have a horn at all).
21.The most famous piece of rhino artwork is Albrecht Durer’s woodcut,
‘The Rhinoceros’, printed in 1515. It (not entirely accurately) depicts a
greater one-horned rhino sent as a gift from the King of Portugal to Pope
Leo X, and has been reprinted countless times over the past 500 years.
22.The word rhinoceros comes from the Greek words, rhino (nose) and ceros
23.Depending on the species, rhinos can live to between 35 and 50 years
24.Rhino horns are made of keratin, the same material that makes up your
hair and fingernails.
25.The closest living rhino ‘relatives’ are tapirs, horses and zebras.
Update on Anti-Poaching.
The SANParks Honorary Rangers recently donated R1,75m to the Kruger
National Park(KNP) to help fight rhino poaching. The Honorary Rangers
provided the Kruger's field rangers with counter-poaching equipment,
during a handover ceremony held in Phalaborwa on November 3.
The park is facing a major poaching challenge, with 196 rhino having been
poached this year alone. That is already considerably up from the previous
shocking record of 146 rhino in 2010, and a major slice of the 347 rhino
that have been poached country-wide.
The donation was made possible by the 'Unite Against Poaching'
collaboration between the SANParks Honorary Rangers and Unitrans VW and
Audi dealers. Unitrans donates R500 to counter poaching for every vehicle
Managing Executive of the Kruger National Park, Abe Sibiya, welcomed the
donation, saying the rangers faced a number of challenges and, given the
financial constraints, were not always adequately equipped. He added that
dealing with poachers was a very complicated issue because they kept
changing tactics and the rangers needed to constantly adapt to confront
the new tactics.
The Chairperson of the Conservation Services unit of the SANParks Honorary
Rangers, John Turner, said they had realised the importance of training
and equipping the park's field rangers as key people in the poaching war.
He said this was why the Honorary Rangers was committed to support the
counter-poaching teams with all they needed, enabling them to do their
work more effectively.
With this really informative map, just click here:
Find your way around South Africa
The all-in-one official guide
and web portal to South Africa.
to my Afrikaans newsletter .
Afrikaans website. Recipes and freebie with each newsletter.
A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor.
The doctor says "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?"
The mother says, "It's my daughter, Debbie. She keeps getting these
Cravings. She's putting on weight, and is sick most mornings.
"The doctor gives Debbie a good examination, then turns to the mother And
"Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but your daughter is pregnant -
about 4 months, would be my guess."
The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be. She has never ever been with a
man! Have you
Debbie says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man, I'm still a
The doctor walked over to the window and just stood there staring out of
About 5 minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Is there something
wrong out there doctor?"
The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the last time anything
like this happened, a star appeared in the east and 3 wise men came over
the hill. And there's no way I'm going to miss it this time!!!!"
- a system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by
the least capable of producing, and where the members of society least
likely to sustain themselves or succeed, are rewarded with goods and
services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of
Forgot my glasses ......
Yesterday my son asked why I didn't do something useful with my time.
He suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys.
I did this and when I got home last night I told him that I had joined a
He said "Are you nuts? You're almost 75 years old and you're going to
start jumping out of airplanes?"
I proudly showed him that I even got a membership card.
He said to me, "You idiot, where are your glasses! This is a membership to
a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!"
I'm in trouble again and don't know what to do! I signed up for five jumps
Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the
pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said,
"I'd like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't
give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law! I'll lose
my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will
happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in
bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "You didn't tell me you had
Notes left in milk bottles - remember the good old days?
After reading these, I realize why they stopped door-to-door delivery!!!
I've just had a baby, please leave another one.
Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk.
Cancel one pint after the day after today.
Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it.
Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking
the tops off the milk.
Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not bread today.
Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons on
Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've
been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks.
Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but
the other way round.
When you leave my milk please knock on my bedroom window and wake me
because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress.
Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last night's Coronation
Street . If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over a cup of tea?
My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or
do I have to shake the bottle?
Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and
did not know about it until a neighbour told me.
Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant.
Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it.
From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the
days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any
My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in
drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want to play
Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote
this note yesterday.
When you leave the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and
put newspaper inside the screen door. P.S. Don't leave any milk.
No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until
Jack, age 92, and Gill, age 89, living in Auckland, are all excited about
their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the
wedding, and on the way they pass a chemist shop and Jack suggests they go
Jack addresses the man behind the counter:
"Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jack: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jack: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds "
Jack: "Medicine for rheumatism?"
Jack: "How about suppositories?"
Pharmacist: "You bet!"
Jack: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, and Alzheimer's?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works.."
Jack: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, antidotes for Parkinson's
Jack: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"
Pharmacist: "We sure do..."
Jack: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."
Jack: "Adult incontinence pants?"
Jack: "Then we'd like to use this store for our wedding presents list..."
Letter to British Rail
Gentlemen, your trains are too full and I am tired of standing all the way
to work. I think your transportation is worse than that which people
enjoyed 2000 years ago.
Answer form BR:
Dear Mr Finnegan, we acknowledge your letter on the shortcomings of our
service but believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The only
mode of transport 2000 years ago was by foot.
Sincerely, British Rail.
Reply from Finnegan:
Gentlemen, it is you who are confused about history. I refer you to the
Bible, Kings chapter 9: "Balaam rode to town on his ass".
That is something I have not been able to do on your train for the last
Sincerely, Patrick Finnegan.
The R12.99 Special
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'seniors' special' was two
eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for R12.99.
'Sounds good,' my wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs..'
'Then, I'll have to charge you R13.49 because you're ordering a la carte,'
the waitress warned her.
'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' my wife asked
'YES!' stated the waitress.
'I'll take the special then,' my wife said..
'How do you want your eggs?' the waitress asked.
'Raw and in the shell,' my wife replied.
She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.
DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS!!!
WE'VE been around the block more than once!
A group of 40 year old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for
Finally they agreed they would meet at the Ocean View Restaurant
because the waiters there had tight pants and nice bodies.
Ten years later at 50 years of age, the group again discussed where
they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed they should meet at
the Ocean View Restaurant because the food there was very good and the
wine selection was excellent.
Ten years on at 60 years of age, the group again discussed where they
should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed they should meet at the
Ocean View Restaurant because there they could eat in peace and quiet
and the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean.
Ten years later at 70 years of age, the group again discussed where
they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed they should meet at
the Ocean View Restaurant because the Restaurant was wheel chair
accessible and even had an elevator.
Ten years on at 80 years of age, the group again discussed where they
should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed they should meet at the
Ocean View Restaurant because they had never been there before.
FLU - To avoid it...
Make sure you get your daily dose of fruit and veggies.
Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.
Get plenty of exercise because it builds your immune system.
Walk for at least an hour a day,
Go for a swim,
Take the stairs instead of the lift, etc.
Wash your hands often.
If you can't, keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around.
Get lots of fresh air.
Open doors & windows whenever possible.
Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can.
Get plenty of rest.
Take the doctor's approach.
Think about it...
When you go for a flu jab, what do they do first?
They clean your arm with alcohol...
Because Alcohol KILLS GERMS.
I walk to the pub. (exercise)
I put lime in my vodka...(fruit)
Celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies)
Drink outdoors on the patio..(fresh air)
Tell rude jokes and laugh....(eliminate stress)
Then I pass out. (rest)
The way I see it...
If you keep your alcohol levels up,
Flu germs Can't get you!
As my grandmother always said,
'A shot in the glass is better than one in the ass!'
The Lions manager flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play rugby, is
suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Gauteng.
Two weeks later the Lions are 18-6 down to the Cheetahs with only 20
minutes left to play. The manager gives the young Iraqi winger the nod and
on he goes.
The lad is a sensation, scores 4 tries in 20 minutes and wins the game for
the Lions. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted
and the media love the new star.
When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about
his first day in Super 14 Rugby.
"Hello mum, guess what?" he says "I played for 20 minutes today, and we
were 18-6 down but I scored 4 tries and we won! Everybody loves me, the
fans, the media, they all love me!"
"Wonderful," says his mum, "Let me tell you about my day. Your father got
shot in the street and robbed; your sister and I were ambushed and beaten;
your brother has joined a gang of looters and all while you were having
such a great time playing rugby"
The young lad is very upset. "What can I say mum, but I am so sorry."
"Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!' shrieks his mum, "It's your fault we all moved to
Jo'Burg in the first place!”
Some great resorts we have visited
We visited Ekuthuleni,
click here for my report and
You can also see some more photos
Since Ekuthuleni we have also been to Hazyview Cabanas, for my write-up
and pictures click here
We are just back from a really nice trip to Mozambique -
Morrumbene Beach Resort
We have just returned from a glorious week at
Mnarani Club, Kilifi, Kenya
We also had a really nice stay at
Hole in the Wall
and Caribbean Estates
Beacon Wharf in Mossel Bay,
Eagles Nest in Sedgefield,
and Ocean 11 in Mossel Bay
In June 2010 we visited Ukuthula
and Modumela in Botswana.
Click the links for stories and photos
Earlier this month we visited
Sandy Place in St Lucia,
for story and photos click the link
In August we visited Kagga Kamma, Sutherland, Wildflowers and Kgalagadi
Transfrontier Park, see albums below:
Kagga Album -
Our latest visit to Kgalagadi Transfrontier Park:
St Lucia - July 2011
Cape Holiday - August 2011 -
The Wild Side
- A selection of my photos
click to see larger image
We have just returned from a visit to Kruger National Park. Our
favourite photo spot is the Lake Panic Bird Hide near Skukuza. We
witnessed this Giant Heron catching a fish after standing still like a
statue for more than an hour. As soon as he got the fish, two fish
eagles promptly harrassed him, causing him to drop the fish, of course
the fish eagles made off with the loot. We visited the Hide three
times during our Kruger stay and each time the fish
eagles took a fish off the poor heron. The photo shows an angry heron
chasing after the fish eagles!
For the latest on happenings in Zimbabwe, go to:
http://www.sokwanele.com/thisiszimbabwe/ and subscribe
to their newsletter, a really good source of current information
from Zimbabwe, her letter
Dear Family and Friends,
The saying it never rains but it pours, was never more true than
this week. After another round of scorching temperatures,
punishing water shortages and bone dry days, a storm brewed up
very rapidly early one evening. Very strong winds were followed by
a spectacular half hour of continuous sheet and forked lightning
and then the heavens opened.
Fifty millimetres (two inches) of rain pounded down in an hour and
a half over areas of Mashonaland East and left us like drowned
rats floating on the detritus. Areas of Harare had eighty
millimetres in an hour and huge pine trees fell like matchsticks
in many places.
I thought I’d had it bad when about two litres of rain streamed in
through a hole in my roof soaking everything in its splash range
below. It was nothing compared to a neighbour whose roof leak
caught twenty litres of rain – it was like someone left the tap
running he said. We both laughed at the insanity of that
comparison because our taps only ever have water for a couple of
hours a day if we’re lucky as our town continues to suffocate in a
never ending water crisis.
It’s a crisis that has crippled most towns and cities around the
country despite donors providing all the water treatment chemicals
and almost three years of opposition control of town councils. The
municipalities give more excuses than you can shake a stick at,
none of which help alleviate the toil of finding, collecting and
carrying water all the time, or reducing the fear of disease. A
number of people in my immediate neighbourhood have been
collecting water for weeks from an open and unprotected shallow
well they have dug in a patch of open ground near a local
cemetery. They had their water supplies disconnected by the local
municipality because they couldn’t afford to pay large backdated
accounts which went back to early 2009 when we converted to
trading in US dollars. The amounts owing by residential households
range from fifty to five hundred US dollars and leave people with
no choice but to risk disease and collect water wherever they find
The last water-borne disease tragedy to hit Zimbabwe was an
horrific cholera epidemic in 2008 which killed over four thousand
people. This year the disease fear is typhoid. The Harare City
Council this week said they were “talking numbers in excess of 500
cases” in the capital alone. Their spokesman said shallow wells
and boreholes in unsuitable places were the main carriers of
typhoid. Messages are being sent out by one mobile phone service
provider alerting people to the spread of typhoid through
contaminated food and water and advising people with fever,
stomach pains and diarrhoea to get medical treatment immediately.
The morning after the storm the roads in my neighbourhood had been
scoured. Thick beds of sand blanketed corners, dips and the
bottoms of hills. Potholes and gullies not filled or patched, let
alone even inspected for over five years, tripled in size and
What should have been simple, routine road maintenance has been
ignored for so many years that it will now need heavy machinery
and vast amounts of money to restore basic suburban roads.
Closer to home casualties of the rain storm lay in the form of
carpets of flying ants’, countless drowned earth worms and curled
up, water- logged sausage flies. A veritable explosion of
(millipedes) emerged from underground. Flooded out of
their hiding places, they were drying out on rocks, logs and sandy
patches everywhere. Hard at work were numerous birds whose nests
had been damaged in the storm. Weavers, Flycatchers and Manikins
worked tirelessly, flitting backwards and forwards with strips of
grass, fluffy seeds and strands of papyrus. The best sight was
that of a gorgeous Plum-coloured Starling carrying bunches of soft
green Musasa leaves to re-line its nest in a toilet stack pipe.
Such beauty in such an ugly venue, a familiar Zimbabwean contrast.
Until next time, thanks for reading,
26 November 2011.
. For information on my new book: "INNOCENT VICTIMS" or my
books, "African Tears" and "Beyond Tears," or to
subscribe/unsubscribe to this newsletter, please write to:
This South Africa - news headlines
The all-in-one official guide
and web portal to South Africa.
Looking for a specific South African recipe?
and I will do my best to find it for
Roast Turkey with Cranberry Sausage Stuffing
340g ground pork sausage
1/4 cup unsalted butter
1 1/2 cups chopped onion
1 1/2 cups diced celery
1 tsp poultry seasoning
1 tsp sage, rubbed
1 cup cranberries, cut in half
4 1/4 cups dry bread cubes
1/2 cup chicken stock or water, plus a little extra
1 turkey, about 6kg
1/4 cup unsalted butter, melted
1 1/3 cups chicken stock
1. Cook sausage meat for 5-7 minutes over a medium heat, stirring
frequently and breaking up meat until cooked through
2. Transfer sausage meat to a large bowl
3. Melt butter in the same pan, add onion and celery and cook 4 - 5
minutes, stirring frequently until tender
4. Stir in the next 5 ingredients and salt and pepper to taste
5. Transfer onion mixture to the bowl with the sausage meat, mix
thoroughly, adding more stock if too dry
6. Season inside of turkey cavity with salt and pepper to taste
7. Fill neck and cavity with stuffing and truss bird with string
8. Pat skin dry with paper towels and brush turkey with melted butter
9. Place on a roasting rack inside a roasting pan and roast @ 160°C for 20
minutes per 500g, basting with chicken stock and brushing with butter
every 25 minutes
10. Remove turkey from the oven and reserve fat and cooking juices for
11. Allow turkey to stand for 20 minutes before carving
Tangy Mustard Glazed Ham
1 large ham , about 4 - 5 kg
1 cup light brown sugar
2 Tbsp golden syrup
2 Tbsp flour
1.4 tsp cinnamon
1 Tbsp Dijon mustard
1 Tbsp cider vinegar
2 Tbsp water
1. Heat over to 160°C and line a roasting pan with foil
2. Wrap the ham in foil, fatty side up, and place in pan
3. Bake for 20 minutes per 500g
4. Meanwhile make the glaze in a medium saucepan by combining sugar,
cinnamon, flour, mustard and vinegar - stir over medium heat until smooth
5. Add water and bring to a simmer - simmer, stirring for 1 minute
6. When cooked, remove the foil from the ham and remove excess fat and
7. Score the ham all over the surface, creating a diamond pattern
8. Return to the over and continue baking for about 30 minutes, basting
frequently with the glaze
9. Allow to stand for 20 minutes before slicing
Herb Turkey Stuffing
1 large onion, chopped
1 cup butter or margarine
1 cup celery, finely chopped
1 tsp poultry seasoning
1/2 tsp salt, or to taste
1/4 tsp pepper, or to taste
1 1/4 cups chicken stock
12 cups white bread cubes (about 24 slices)
3/4 cup parsley, chopped
1. Sauté the onions in the butter until translucent, but not browned
2. Stir in celery, chicken stock, poultry seasoning, salt and pepper and
heat just to boiling point
3. Pour gradually over bread in a large bowl, stirring as you work to not
dampen the mixture too much - toss lightly until evenly moist
4. Stuff in the neck and centre cavity of your turkey
Orange Liqueur Turkey Stuffing
1 cup raisins
1 1/2 cups orange liqueur
1 cup unsalted butter
2 cups chopped celery
1 onion, chopped
500g spicy sausage, casing removed
500g herb-seasoned dry bread stuffing mix
1 cup chopped pecan nuts
4 Granny Smith apples, cored and chopped
2 cups chicken stock
4 tsp chopped fresh sage
salt & pepper to taste
1. Place the raising in a small saucepan and cover with 1 cup water -
bring to the boil, remove from the heat and set aside
2. In a large pan, melt half the butter, add the celery and onion and
sauté over a medium heat for 10 minutes - transfer to a large mixing bowl
3. In the same pan, cook the sausage over a medium heat until crumbled and
evenly brown - remove from heat, drain and add to the celery-onion mixture
4. Add the stuffing mix to the onion/celery/sausage mixture, then stir in
the raisins and 1 cup of liqueur
5. Add pecans, apples and combine thoroughly
6. In a saucepan, melt the remaining 1/2 cup butter with the chicken broth
and pour over the stuffing along with the remaining 1/2 cup of orange
liqueur - stir well
7. The stuffing should be totally moistened
8. Season with sage, salt and pepper
9. Use to stuff either neck, stomach cavity, or both
Chilled Melon with Port
This makes an excellent start to a Christmas meal. It is a light starter
to a heavy meal.
1 medium sized melon
fresh mint for garnish
1. Wipe the melon with a damp cloth, then cut into 6 equal sized wedges
and discard the pips
2. Carefully separate the flesh from the skin with a sharp knife, without
3. Cut the fruit across in neat pieces keeping the wedge shape intact on
the melon skin
4. Arrange the wedges on 6 plates and pour over the port, allowing 15ml
5. Wrap in plastic wrap and chill for 2 hours before serving, garnished
with fresh mint
You can also edge the plates with lemon juice and coloured or white sugar.
Rub the edges with the lemon juice and then dip them in the sugar
Composed Grapefruit Salad
4 pink grapefruit
2 large avocado
juice of 2 lemons
2 smoked chicken breasts
150ml sunflower oil
2 tsp whole seed mustard
2 tsp honey
salt & freshly ground black pepper
snipped chives for garnish
1. Peel and quarter the grapefruit lengthways, remove the seeds and slice
them into neat sections
2. Peel and slice the avocado and soak it in the juice of the lemons
3. remove the skin from the chicken breast, cut the skin into strips and
crisp in 15ml of hot oil - drain well and set aside
4. Slice the chicken breast very thinly
5. Line 8 dinner plates with washed and well drained endive
6. Arrange the grapefruit in an overlapping fan to take up 1/3 of the
plate and do the same with the avocado and chicken
7. Mix the remaining lemon juice and oil with the mustard and honey,
8. Sprinkle some snipped chives over the avocado and place the crisped
skin over the chicken slices
9. Cover well with plastic wrap and refrigerate
10. Spoon over the dressing just before serving
Cold Christmas Pudding
1 large tin evaporated milk
1 box vanilla instant pudding
1 Tbsp gelatine
1/3 cup boiling water
2 Tbsp sultanas
2 Tbsp raisins
2 Tbsp currants
a little water for boiling the fruit
1/2 cup brandy
1. Boil the fruit for a few minutes, then pour off the water and pour over
the brandy - leave for a few hours, or overnight
2. Put evaporated milk and 30ml water in a bowl and add the instant
pudding, beating until thick
3. Fold in the fruit and add the dissolved gelatine (in the 1/3 cup of
boiling water) and mix well
4. Pour into a mould and put in the fridge to set
5. Serve with custard or cream
1/2 tsp salt
113g unsalted butter, chilled and cut into 2.5cm pieces
30 - 60ml ice water
312g jar mincemeat
1/2 medium Granny Smith apple, peeled, cored and grated
zest of 1 lemon
1. In a food processor place the flour, salt and sugar and process until
2. Add the butter and process until the mixture resembles coarse meal
(about 15 seconds)
3. Pour 30ml water in a slow, steady stream until dough just holds
together when pinched - if necessary add more water - do not process for
more than 30 seconds
4. Turn the dough onto your work surface and gather into a ball
5. Divide the pastry in half, flatten each half into a disk, cover with
plastic wrap, and refrigerate for 30 minutes to 1 hour before using
6. This will chill the butter and relax the gluten in the flour
7. While the pastry is chilling, combine, in a small bowl, the mincemeat
with the grated apple and lemon zest, adding more or less of each to taste
- you can also add orange zest, chopped nuts or dried or candied fruits
and a little extra brandy or rum
8. After the dough has chilled, take one of the disks of pastry and place
on a light floured surface
9. Roll out until 3mm thick and cut 24 rounds that are slightly bigger
than your muffin tins
10. Gently place the rounds into the muffin tins and place a teaspoon of
mincemeat mixture into each tin and set aside while you make the pastry
11. Roll out the second pastry disk and cut out 24 stars and gently place
them on top of the mincemeat
12. Brush the tops of the stars with a little egg wash (1 large egg
whisked with 1 Tbsp water) and sprinkle with granulated sugar
13. Bake @ 200°C for about 10 - 15 minutes or until pastry has lightly
13. Remove from the oven and cool on a wire rack
14. Dust with icing sugar before serving at room temperature
These tarts freeze very well
Leftover Turkey Casserole
3 cups cubed, cooked roast turkey
1 cup celery, chopped
1 medium onion, chopped
leftover gravy + water to equal 1 cup - or 1 cup cream of mushroom soup
1 cup mayonnaise
2 Tbsp lemon juice
3/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
paprika for garnish
crushed potato crisps
1. Preheat oven to 180°C
2. Mix all the ingredients except for paprika and potato crisps together
and put into a casserole dish
3. Cover with crushed potato crisps and sprinkle with paprika
4. Bake uncovered for about 30 minutes or until crisps begin to brown
Mulled wine is traditional at a German Christmas celebration.
4 cups red wine (burgundy or claret)
1/2 cup water
peel of 1 orange
peel of 1 lemon
1 stick cinnamon
1/4 to 1/2 cup sugar (to taste)
1. Put all the ingredients in a saucepan and simmer gently for 5 - 10
2. Strain through a sieve
3/ Serve while still hot
Oysters with Pine Nut and Bacon
2 rashers rindless bacon
1 small onion, finely chopped
125g rocket leaves
2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
2 Tbsp pine nuts, chopped and toasted
1. Remove the oysters from their shells - clean and dry the shells
2. Finely chop the bacon and fry for 2 minutes until just soft - remove
from the pan
3. Melt the butter in the same pan and add the onion and stir until soft
4. Add torn rocket leaves to the pan and stir until just wilted
5. Stir in the Worcestershire sauce
6. Divide the rocket among the oyster shells, replace the oysters in the
shells and top with the combined bacon and pine nuts
7. Grill under a hot grill for 2-3 minutes, or until the bacon is crisp
3-4 kg gammon
1 x onion
1 x carrot
1 x stick of celery
2 bay leaves
500ml apple cider
glaze of your choice
1. Preheat the oven to 160°C
2. Put the gammon in a large casserole dish together with the chopped
onion, carrot, celery, bay leaves and peppercorns
3. Add the apple cider and cover with foil
4. Cook for 20 minutes per 500g of meat - allow to cool in the liquid
5. Remove the gammon from the liquid and vegetables
6. Remove the rind by running your thumb around the edge and carefully
pulling the rind back, easing your hand under between the fat and the rind
7. With a sharp knife, lightly score the fat to form a diamond pattern -
do not cut through to the gammon, or the fat will fall off while glazing
8. Spread half of the glaze of your choice over the gammon with a palette
knife or the back of a spoon and press a clove into each diamond
9. Put the ham on a rack of a deep baking dish and pour a cup of water
into the dish
10. Cover the dish securely with greased foil and cook @ 180°C for 45
11. Remove from the oven and brush or spread the remaining glaze over the
12. Increase the heat to 210°C and bake, uncovered, for 20 minutes, or
until the surface is lightly caramelized - set aside for 15 minutes before
Mix 125g soft brown sugar, 3 Tbsp honey and 1 Tbsp hot English mustard
together in a bowl
Stir together 250ml orange juice, 140g soft brown sugar, 1 Tbsp French
mustard, 175g honey, 2 tsp soy sauce and 1 Tbsp Grand Marnier in a bowl
MUSTARD & REDCURRANT GLAZE
Put 90g Dijon mustard, 315g redcurrant jelly, 4 crushed cloves of garlic
and 2 Tbsp each of oil and soy sauce into a small saucepan. Stir and
gently warm over medium heat for 2-3 minutes, or until the jelly has
melted. Take care the glaze doesn't catch on the base of the pan.
Pork Fillet with Apple and Mustard Sauce and Glazed Apples
750g pork fillet
1 Tbsp oil
1 clove garlic, crushed
1/2 tsp fresh, grated ginger
1 Tbsp seeded mustard
60ml apple sauce
2 Tbsp chicken stock
1 tsp cornflour
2 green apples
2 Tbsp soft brown sugar
1. Trim the pork fillet and remove any fat and sinew - tie with kitchen
string at 3 cm intervals to keep in shape
2. Heat the butter and oil in a pan, add the fillet and cook until lightly
browned all over - remove and place on the rack of a baking dish - retain
3. Add 125ml water to the baking dish and bake @ 180°C for 15 - 20 minutes
- leave for 10 minutes before removing string and slicing
4. For the sauce, reheat the pan juices, add the garlic and ginger and
stir for 1 minute
5. Stir in the mustard, apple sauce and stock
6. Slowly stir in the combined cream and cornflour and stir until mixture
boils and thickens
7. For the glazed apples, cut the apples into 1 cm slices
8. Melt the butter in the pan and add the sugar - stir until dissolved
9. Add the apple slices and pan-fry, turning occasionally, until lightly
browned and glazed
10. Slice the pork and serve the apple and mustard sauce over it - serve
with the glazed apples
Pork fillets can be thick and short or long and thin and the time they
take to cook will vary accordingly
Roast Chicken with Bacon and Sage Stuffing
2 x 1.2 kg chickens
4 rashers bacon
2 Tbsp oil
1 small onion, finely chopped
1 Tbsp chopped, fresh sage
125g fresh breadcrumbs
1 egg, lightly beaten
1. Preheat oven to 180°C - trim the chickens and pat dry inside and
outside with paper towels
2. Finely chop 2 of the bacon rashers
3. Heat half the oil in a pan, add the onion and bacon and cook until the
onion is soft and the bacon starting to brown
4. Transfer to a bowl and cool
5. Add the sage, breadcrumbs and egg to the onion, season to taste and mix
lightly - spoon stuffing into each chicken cavity
6. Fold the wing back and tuck under the chicken - tie the legs of each
chicken together with string
7. Place on a rack of a large baking dish, making sure they are not
touching and brush with some of the remaining oil
8. Pour 1 cup of water into the baking dish
9. Cut the remaining bacon into long, thin strips and lay across the
chicken breasts - brush the bacon with oil
10. Bake for 60 minutes, or until the juices run clear when a thigh is
pierced with a skewer
This chicken dish is delicious served with a gravy with wine sauce and
3 kg turkey
1 quantity of stuffing - see below
2 Tbsp oil
500ml chicken stock
2 Tbsp plain flour
1. Remove the neck and giblets from inside the turkey and wash the turkey
well and pat dry
2. Preheat the oven to 180°C
3. Make the stuffing you prefer and stuff into the turkey cavity
4. Tie the legs together, tuck the wings underneath and place turkey on a
5. Roast for 2 hours, basting with the combined oil and 125ml stock
6. Cover the breast and legs with foil after an hour if the turkey is
7. Remove from oven, cover and leave for 15 minutes to rest
8. To make the gravy, drain off all except 2 Tbsp of pan juices from the
9. Place the dish on the stove over a low heat, add the flour and stir
10. Stir over medium heat until browned
11. Gradually add the remaining stock, stirring until the gravy thickens
Do not stuff the turkey until you are ready to cook it. Stuffing can be
made ahead of time and frozen for up to a month in an airtight container.
If you prefer to cook the stuffing separately, press it lightly into a
greased ovenproof dish and bake for about 30 minutes, or until golden
brown. Small muffin tins can also be used (bake for 15 - 20 minutes)
Alternatively, you can form the mixture into balls and fry in a little
melted butter or oil, over a medium heat, until golden brown all over.
Heat 1 tablespoon of oil in a small frying pan and cook 1 finely chopped
onion until soft. Transfer to a large bowl and cool. Add 200g sausage
meat, 2 crushed cloves of garlic, 2 cups of fresh white breadcrumbs, 2
teaspoons each of grated lemon and orange rinds and 60g finely chopped
pecans, and mix well. Season to taste with salt and pepper and mix.
COUNTRY SAGE STUFFING
Melt 45g butter in a small saucepan and cook 1 finely chopped onion and 1
sliced celery stick over medium heat for 3 minutes, or until the onion has
softened. Transfer to a bowl and add 10 shredded, large fresh sage leaves,
2 cups fresh white breadcrumbs, 1 1/2 tsp dried sage, 4 Tbsp finely
chopped, fresh parsley, 2 lightly beaten egg whites, 1 tsp salt and 1/2
tsp white pepper.
Melt 60g butter in a frying pan and cook 1 chopped onion until golden.
Cool, then mix thoroughly with 2 cups cooked, long-grain brown rice, 1 cup
chopped, dried apricots, 1/2 cup unsalted cashews, 3 Tbsp chopped, fresh
parsley, 2 Tbsp chopped, fresh mint and 1 Tbsp lemon juice. Season to
taste with salt and pepper.
Slow Roasted Lamb with Cumin and Paprika
2.2 kg leg of lamb
75g butter, softened at room temperature
3 cloves garlic, crushed
2 tsp ground cumin
3 tsp ground coriander
1 tsp paprika
1 Tbsp cumin extra for dipping
1. Preheat the oven to 220°C
2. With a small, sharp knife, cut small, deep slits in the top and sides
of the lamb
3. Mix the butter, garlic, spices and 1/4 tsp salt in a bowl until a
smooth paste forms
4. With the back of a spoon, rub the paste all over the lamb, then use
your fingers to spread the paste and make sure all the lamb is covered
5. Put the lamb bone-side-down in a deep baking dish and place on the top
shelf of the oven - bake for 10 minutes, then baste and return to the oven
6. Reduce the temperature to 160°C and bake for 3 hours 20 minutes,
basting every 20 - 30 minutes to tenderize the meat
7. Allow to rest for 15 minutes, then carve into chunky pieces
8. Mix the cumin with 1 1/2 tsp salt and serve on the side for dipping
Ice Cream Bombe
1 large mango, finely chopped
1 cup canned pineapple pieces, drained
60ml Grand Marnier
250g fresh strawberries, pureed
400g can condensed milk
80g dessert nougat, chopped
35g roughly chopped unsalted pistachios
strawberries, extra, halved to garnish
90g caster sugar
1. Lightly grease a 2 litre pudding bowl and line with plastic wrap,
allowing to hang over the side of the basin
2. Put it in the freezer until ready to use
3. Drain the mango and pineapple in a sieve
4. Mix the Grand Marnier, strawberry puree and condensed milk in a large
5. Whisk the cream to soft peaks, then add to the bowl and continue
whisking until thick
6. Fold in the drained fruits, nougat and pistachios
7, Pour the mixture into the pudding bowl, cover with plastic wrap and
freeze overnight, or until firm
8. To serve, remove the plastic from the base and invert the pudding onto
a chilled serving plate - remove the bowl, but leave the plastic wrap and
refrigerate for 15 - 25 minutes to soften slightly
9. For the toffee bark, line a baking tray with baking paper
10. Heat the sugar over a low heat in a heavy-based saucepan for 2 - 3
minutes, or until melted and golden
11. Carefully pour into the tray
12. Tilt the tray to get a thin, even layer of toffee over the paper and
13. While still pliable, drape the paper over a rolling pin and allow to
cool for 30 - 60 seconds before peeling away strips of toffee in large
14. Cool - to serve, remove the plastic and decorate the bombe with toffee
bark and strawberries
Dessert nougat is a soft nougat available at confectionery shops and some
Summer Berries in Champagne Jelly
1 litre champagne or sparkling white wine
1 1/2 tsp powdered gelatine
4 strips lemon rind
4 strips orange rind
250f small strawberries, hulled
250g blueberries (or any other blue berries)
1. Pour half the champagne into a bowl and let the bubbles subside
2. Sprinkle the gelatine over the top in an even layer
3. Leave until the gelatine is spongy - do not stir
4. Pour the remaining champagne into a saucepan, add the sugar and rinds
and heat gently, stirring constantly, until all the sugar has dissolved
5. Remove the saucepan from the heat, add the gelatine mixture and stir
until thoroughly dissolved
6. Leave to cool completely, then remove the rind
7. Divide the berries among eight 125ml stemmed wine glasses and gently
pour the jelly over them
8. Refrigerate until set - remove from the fridge 15 minutes before
200g dark cooking chocolate, finely chopped
50g chocolate cake crumbs
2 tsp dark rum, brandy or whisky
95g chocolate sprinkles
1. Line a baking tray with foil
2. Put chocolate in a heat-proof bowl
3. Combine the cream and butter in a small pan and stir over a low heat
until the butter melts and the mixture is just boiling
4. Pour the hot cream mixture over the chocolate and stir until the
chocolate melts and the mixture is smooth
5. Stir in the cake crumbs and rum
6. Refrigerate for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally, or until firm enough
7. Roll heaped teaspoons of the mixture into balls
8. Spread the chocolate sprinkles on a sheet of greaseproof paper and roll
each truffle in sprinkles
9. Place on a tray and refrigerate for 30 minutes, or until firm
10. Serve in a small paper patty cup, if desired
Truffles can also be rolled in dark cocoa powder. They can be made up to a
week in advance and refrigerated in an airtight container
Sugar-Free Christmas Pudding
6 ripe bananas, mashed
1 egg, lightly beaten
2 cups (370g) mixed dried fruit
1 cup fresh breadcrumbs
2 Tbsp orange juice
1 Tbsp grated orange rind
1 tsp vanilla essence
1. Place a 1.25 litre pudding basin in a large pan, on a trivet or
upturned saucer, and pour enough cold water to come half way up the sides
of the basin - remove the basin and put the water on to boil
2. Combine the egg, dried fruit and breadcrumbs in a bowl, then spoon into
the pudding basin
3. Cover the basin and make a handle as shown below
4. Gently lower the basin into the boiling water, reduce the heat to a
fast simmer and cover with a tight-fitting lid
5. Cook for 1 1/2 hours, checking the water after an hour and topping up
to the original level with boiling water if needed
6. For the orange cream, combine the cream, orange juice, rind and vanilla
in a bowl and mix well - serve over the pudding
Sent to me by Anne Cotton in the UK. Just a small recipe for all the Scots
(and other ex-pats) in sunny South Africa.
1 Cup of Water
1 Cup Caster Sugar
4 Large Eggs
2 Cups Dried Fruit
1 tsp Baking Powder
1 Cup Brown Sugar
1 Cup Butter
1 Gallon Whisky
Sample the whisky to check for quality – Take a large bowl. Check the
whisky again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup
to drink and repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in
a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar and beat again. Make sure the
whisky is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break 2 legs and
add to the bowl and chuck the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If
fried druit gets stuck in the beaters, pry loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whisky again to test for toncistency. Next, sift 2 cups of salt
……………….. or something else, who cares? Check the whisky and then sift the
lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add 1 tablespoon of sugar or something –
whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window.
Check the whisky again. Go to bed. Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?
I have joined
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marketing as well as a low monthly subscription, but, bottom line, it
This company is definitely not a
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I received this
Yes, out of
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joined during August 2010, what a waste of time!!!.
If I knew what was happening during the year I wasted, man, I would have
joined immediately after I read the details of the setup.
I now have a waiting list of seven on my downline (one already joined as
Silver), the others are bound to join during November and they are jumping
around purely from excitement to get started and its rubbing off on me as
Just one question: My intention is to place an invitation advertisement on
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My Super Duper Recipe CD
I have just added 37 very old digitally scanned (you see the actual
pages of the book) recipe books to the CD, at no extra cost. Here is your
chance to have a really unique recipe book collection.
I have decided to simplify the way I sell my recipe eBook collection.
I am putting them all on one CD in an English and Afrikaans folder
now also a folder with the very old books,
over 130 recipe eBooks in all. That means less than R1 a recipe book, a
real bargain! Most of the books come with resale rights so you can sell
them individually if you wish.
CD costs R120 registered postage included (R150 for next day Speed
Services delivery in SA). Once I mail the CD I will email you the post
office tracking number
Paypal orders also accepted at US$20 per CD overseas postage included.
My Paypal email addy is
If you are interested in my Super CD
just click here and I will send you my banking details. Remember to
include you postal address.
As soon as I mail the CD I will email you the post office tracking
number as proof of despatch.
Traditional South African Recipes - A comprehensive collection of
Traditional South African recipes.
Tradisionele Suid Afrikaanse Resepte - Traditional South African Recipes
Christmas Recipes - A selection of Christmas Recipes for you to try!
101 Camping and Outdoor Recipes - Recipes for you to try next time you go
400 Refreshing punch recipes - Some great ideas for liquid refreshment at
your next party
Favourite Christmas Cookies - 34 Great cookie recipes for you to enjoy!
Christmas Cookie Recipes - A delicious collection of Christmas Cookie
A Homemade Christmas - 100 Simple and delicious recipes for your special
Holiday Candy and Fudge - 42 Great candy recipes, a hit with kids of all
Kids Fun Recipes - 120 Fun and Delicious Recipes
Delicious Puddings - A Collection of 167 Pudding Recipes
Pumpkin Pie - Pumpkin pies and more!
Salad Recipes - A Collection of Easy to Follow Salad Recipes
Summer Party Cookbook - The name says it all!
Pampercat and Pamperdog - Recipe treats for your feline and canine friends
80 Seasonal Recipes from around the world - A selection of festive recipes
from the four corners of the globe!
Crockpot Recipes - In South Africa we would probably call this Potjiekos
International Recipes - A selection of recipes from all over the world
Fish and Game Recipes - A selection of mouthwatering recipes
Lemonade - A large selection of lemonade recipes
Pizzeria - Try some of these great pizza recipes
Casseroles - 17 pages of mouthwatering casserole recipes
Low Fat Recipes - Watching your cholesterol? Then this is for you!
Soup Recipes - Ideal for those cold winter evenings
Chicken Recipes - 300 Delicious Chicken Recipes
Amish Recipes - 65 Tried and True Traditional Amish Recipes
Apple Recipes - Mouth watering apple recipes
Blue Ribbon Recipes - 490 Award Winning Recipes
The Bread Book - The bread and biscuit baker's and sugar boiler's
Chocolate Delights - Deliciously decadent and delightful recipes for the
chocaholic in you
Carolina Mountain Cooking - Created from the recipes and memories of two
of the Carolina Mountain's most talented cooks.
Egg Recipes - 111 Great Egg Recipes
Great Gifts in a Jar - A personally made gift is usually more appreciated!
Italian Recipes - A collection of 185 delicious Italian dishes
Smoothies - 126 Easy recipes for maximum sports performance
Top Secret Recipes - Top secret famous recipes
Wings - The ultimate chicken wing cookbook
The Barmaster - Essential tips and techniques for bartenders
Be a Grillmaster - How to host the perfect bbq!
101 Good Jam Recipes - Make your own jams, 101 recipes for you to try
Deep Fryer Recipes - 101 Recipes for the Deep Fryer
Frozen Dessert Recipes - From ice cream to yoghurt - 170 pages of
Recipes from South of the Border - 247 pages of typically Mexican recipes
Various Rice Dishes - 32 Great Rice Dishes
The Appetizer Collection - More than 150 pages of great ideas for
The Big Book of Cookies - From Almond Bars to Zucchini Bars, they are all
here, 233 pages of cookie recipes
Salad Recipes - A Collection of Easy to Follow Salad Recipes
Delicious Diabetic Recipes - A Collection of over 500 yummy recipes.
Cheesecake Recipes - Nearly 100 pages of yummilicious cheesecake recipes!
Something for the gardeners
Organic Secrets - Everything you wanted to know about organic food
Profitable Crafts- Vol 1
Profitable Crafts - Vol 2
Profitable Crafts - Vol 3
Profitable Crafts - Vol 4
20 Vintage Crochet Patterns
Everything you wanted to know about making, marketing and selling your
Big Fat Lies - A shocking expose of the 12 biggest scams, cover-ups, lies,
myths and deceptions
in the diet and weight-loss industries.
10,000 Dreams Interpreted
A List of
the very old digitally scanned recipe eBooks.
A Calendar of Dinners with 615 recipes - 1922
A Dozen dainty recipes for preparing wartime canned meats - 1920
A Home Guide - or a book by 500 ladies - 1877
Aunt Carolines Dixieland Recipes - 1922
A Practical Dictionary of Cookery - 1200 tested recipes - 1898
Best recipes for baking - pre 1908
Buckeye Cookery and Practical Housekeeping - 1877
Burke's Complete Cocktail and tasty bite recipes - 1936
Catering for special occasions with menus and recipes - 1911
Diabetic Cookery - recipes and menus - 1917
Fifty Choice Recipes for Spanish and Mexican Dishes - 1905
Fifty valuable and delicious recipes made with corn meal - 1917
Heart of the Wheat - a book of recipes - 1910
Hospitality - recipes and enteertainment hints for all occasions - 1922
Hotel Management - quantity food recipes
Household hints and recipes - 1877
Ice Cream - practical recipes for making ice cream - 1886
Information for everybody - 1859
Jane Hamiltons Recipes - 1909
Just the thing - dainty dishes at small cost - 1899
Larger cookery book of extra recipes - 1891
Leather Manufacture - 1891
Light entertaining - a book of dainty recipes for special occasions - 1910
On Uncle Sam's Water Wagon - 500 recipes for delicious drinks that can be
made at home - 1919
Our candy recipes - 1919
Practical Household Cookery - 1000 recipes - 1891
Preserves and Pickles - 1912
Recipes - dainties, salads and clever hints - 1919
Recipes for the preserving of fruit vegetables and meat - 1908
The Candy Maker's Guide - 1896
The Housekeeper's Friend - 1897
The Hygenic Cookbook - 1881
Tried and Tested Recipes - 1921
Two Hundred and Seventy Five Wartime Recipes - 1918
Two hundred recipes for cooking in casseroles - 1914
Two hundred recipes for making desserts - 1912
War Time Cookery - 1917
Wheatless Recipes - 1918
Wrinkles and Recipes, including farming and household hints - 1877
And here is a list of the recipe eBooks on the
217 Egte Afrikaanse resepte, Aartappels,
Beskuitresepte, Afrikaanse Resepteverskeidenheid, Brood resepte, Vul die
beskuitblik, 'n Broodjie vir die blik, Blokkieskoek, Burgers Patties
Frikadelle, Brood resepte, Drankies, Drinkgoed, Gemmerbier, Groente, Eet jou
groente, Hoender resepte, Happies en Poffers, Kaaskoek, Ietsie anders
resepte, Kerskoeke, Karavaan resepte, Kleinkoekies, Kinderlekkerte,
Koekiedrukker resepte, Koeke, Likeur, Lekkergoed resepte, Nog resepte,
McCain resepte, Moedersdag resepte
Mikrogolf resepte, Peterjasie se boek, Pastageregte, Peterjasie se
Peterjasie se eBoek van vernoemde resepte, Poeding, Peterjasie se
Tradisionele SA resepte
Resepte met biltong, Resepteverskeidenheid - ook grootmaat, Slaaie, Sommer
net resepte, Sop in die pot, Sop resepte, Terte, Sous, Verskeie resepte 1,
Souttert & Pannekoek, Vis en hoender, Veelsydige hoender, Vleisgeregte vir
Kersdag, Verskeie resepte 2, Warm en koue drankies, Vleisresepte, Wille
samies, Wafels en Pannekoeke, Wors en worsies
Annette se Boererate, Boererate en Verbruikerswenke, Hartstigting dieet,
Lennons medikasie, Mate en gewigte, Sop dieet, S A Boererate eBoek, Metrieke
omskakelingstabel, Werk van die huis
Silversands Online casino
We usually go to Carnival City, our local entertainment complex about
twice a month for a movie, a good meal and a flutter at the tables or
machines. Most times it is crowded and my favourite machines are taken.
Then I came across Silversands online casino. You simply sign up, download some
software and you can practice with fun money to your heart's content
before you play with the real thing.
Give it a try,
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Children's Stories on CD
Find it hard to get quality
children’s stories? Join the popular Anna Emm Story Club in Afrikaans or
English, and start adding to your child’s CD collection at an early age!
Collect al 96 original stories (on 48 CDs!) over 2 years, or join for a
minimum of 3 months - you decide! Receive 2 new CDs with original
children’s stories every month! Anna Emm Productions has already produced
more than 500 new children’s stories on CD.
to join . Ideal gift for children and grandchildren.
Just another reminder to join the Africam fan page
They will be posting photos / videos and other udates and
articles on the fan page from now.
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