Number 196

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November 30th,  2011

 

 
 
 

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Greetings everyone!  And a special welcome to all the new subscribers!  Why not ask your email contacts if they don't want to subscribe as well?

Wow! Another year had zipped by! Would you believe that 2012 is just around the corner? This will be the last letter for the year so let me wish you a Blessed Festive season! If you are going to be travelling, please drive safely and take regular rest breaks!

Two freebies this time, one is an eBook with muffin recipes and the other some nice Knorr recipes. Scroll down to the Freebie section and download them.

The recipes this time are all festive favourites, so scroll down and get some inspiration.

Just to let everyone know that I reserve the right to use anything that arrives in my email inbox either on my website or in my newsletter, unless it clearly states that I am not allowed to do so.

Recipes in Afrikaans

For those of you who happen to understand Afrikaans, if you are interested in really good Afrikaans recipe Ebooks, scroll down to the Adverts section at the bottom of the page and take aa look at what's available.

A Bit of Old Johannesburg History

On the buses: fifty years ago
Steve Hayes

Fifty years ago today, on Wednesday 8 March 1961, I joined the Johannesburg Transport Department as a learner bus conductor.

The Johannesburg Transport Department was a new name for what had previously been known as Johannesburg Municipal Tramways, which began in 1906 when the first electric trams were introduced, replacing the old horse-drawn trams which had been run by a private company. But the trams were being phased out, so they decided to change the name, but members of the running staff still referred to it as the JMT, and the letters JMT still appeared on the sides of some buses until they were repainted.

There were six of us in the class, which met in the training school at the trolley bus garage in Fordsburg, and it started off with the instructor, Mr Venter, showing us how to make out cash and journey waybills, and in the afternoon we learned how to punch tickets, only he would not let me do it left-handed. But eventually he relented when he say I could punch tickets much faster that way. We had bundles of loose tickets, which we held together with knicker elastic (broekrek), and a bell punch which punched a hole to indicate the stage where the passenger boarded. And the auditors could count all the punched bits to check against the number of tickets sold on the waybill.

The starting wage for a driver or conductor was 59c per hour, or R25.96 per week for a 44 hour week. It was a 6-day week of an average of 7 hours 20 minutes per day. Fares had been simplified with the introduction of decimal currency the previous month: 5c for 1 stage, 7.5c for 3-5 stages, and 10c for 6 stages and over. There were also higher fares for longer journeys, but they were undertaken only by one-man operated single-deckers going to Randburg. The simplification meant that old coins or new could be used for the bus fare, 6d or 5c. A cup of tea or coffee in a local cafe cost 5c, and an omelet and chips cost 35c.

The next two days at conductor school we practised selling each other tickets and giving each other change. There was a platform with seats on to simulate a moving bus, and we practised on that. At lunch time every day we went to the gym up the road at the tram sheds for half an hour. We had books of fares and stages for all the routes in the city and we had to learn them off by heart, so there would be no undercharging or overcharging. We learnt how to fill in accident and incident reports.

We were also taught the culture of the Department. My fellow-trainees were all Afrikaans speaking, and since it was the time of apartheid, buses were segregated. Most were for whites only, but up to five “Asiatics or Coloureds” could be allowed to occupy the back seats upstairs, provided there were no whites sitting in them. But there were some routes for “Non-Europeans” only, and some for “Asiatics and Coloureds” only, to Bertrams and Crown mines. The instructor told us we were never to refer to black clients as “kaffirs”. That was a strict no-no. In the JMT they referred to black clients as “kadallies”, I assume after Clements Kadalie, a prominent black trade unionist of the 1920s.

After a week we were given our own kit – a change bag, a ticket punch, a pair of nippers, bundles of tickets, and a practice note. We had to do two trips as learners, under an experienced conductor, on every route, and he would sign the practice note. For the first four days we were under conductors who had qualified as instructors, and after that we could be freelancers.

So on Wednesday 15th March 1961 I went to the Trojan depot in the south of the city, early in the morning, and took the fares on two trips to South Hills under the watchful eye of instructing conductor Tommy Crowne. Tommy Crowne had a spreadover shift, which meant that he worked in the morning and evening peaks, and had about four hours off in the middle of the day. On the third day, Friday 17th March, I took my practice note in the break and worked on the Malvern and Bez Valley trams, which was the last day of scheduled service. The next day they were to be replaced by oil buses, and there would be a special commemorative run to mark the end of the tram service. So I can truly say that I was the last tram conductor ever to join the JMT, and indeed the last tram conductor in South Africa, since all the other cities had closed their tram services long before.

On the 18th April, having filled my practice note, four of us did the final test. There was a written test and an oral test, in which we had to be able to give the stages on any route. And the following day we did a practical test. Having past, we were given cap badges and numbers, and were measured for uniforms. The cap badges had numbers in order of seniority, with drivers having odd numbers and conductors even numbers. So driver 1 was the most senior driver, and conductor 2 was the most senior conductor. I was 1456, which meant is was the 728th conductor, at the bottom of the pecking order. The pecking order was important, because every six months there was a reallocation of shifts, with those with the lowest numbers getting the first choice, and those who had just started, like me, were “casual” – each day we were told which shift we would be doing the next day, usually for someone who was sick or on holiday. And on our day off we still had to go in to see what shift we were allocated for the following day — the scheduling section were far to busy to answer such queries over the phone. Nowadays such things are probably handled by computers. Back then personal computers were unheard of. On one route the bus passed a computer bureau, and we could see row upon row of boxes the size of stationery cabinets, with large reels of tape that jerked backwards and forwards, and the whole roomful of them probably had less capacity than a pocket flash drive.

I worked on the JMT for the next two years, and when I turned 21 I trained as a driver as well, which took another month out of work with a practice not, driving every route, even if one knew them as a conductor. With the trolley buses one had to remember the location of insulators, and how to get to the right stand for the trip. After passing out i went back to my picked shift as a conductor, but being able to drive gave more opportunities for overtime.

In 1963 I resigned from the JMT and went to study at the University of Natal in Pietermaritzburg, but as soon as I had written my last exam in November, I went back to Johannesburg, and drove buses during the long vac. I preferred driving, because when one’s shift was over one could go home, whereas conductors still had to count their takings, enter up their cash waybills and pay in.

And when I went to study in the UK in 1966, I worked for 6 months as a driver with London Transport. One of the perks of the job was free travel on town and country buses and the Underground, so I used the opportunity to explore London and environs.

 

For pet lovers - a pet story

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats:


The dishes on the floor with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not mean that is suddenly your food, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the top of the stairs is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It Is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space that you are taking up, is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here....you don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
That's why they call it “fur”-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) don't smoke or drink,
(8) don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children...
 

Andy Nix Photography

Seeing that photography is my passion I thought it about time to feature a South African photographer in my newsletter. I have been a fan of Andy for some time now and would like to share the link to her blog. She is a great photographer and is fortunate enough to live in the Fairest Cape where great landscapes just beg to be photographed.

Click here to view her blog and while you are there subscribe to her newsletter as well.

Mirna van Wyk

Mirna is an educational psychologist from Stellenbosch. She taught at several schools, amongst others Stellenbosch High School, Bloemhof Girls’ High and Jan Kriel School for learners with barriers to learning. She is a mother, loves art, the ocean and children.

Mirna will be back in the new year, busy with year end tasks and will then take a well earned break


You are welcome to comment or send questions to her at mirnafvanwyk@gmail.com 
 

South African National Parks

I will now start a series on the South African National Parks. National parks offer visitors an unparalleled diversity of adventure tourism opportunities including game viewing, bush walks, canoeing and exposure to cultural and historical experiences.

Fifteen of South Africa's 21 national parks offer park or camp-run accommodation. Most parks and rest-camps have retail facilities and restaurants. Across the parks, there are a total of 6 000 beds and 1 000 camping and caravan sites, which can accommodate almost
12 000 overnight guests.

Namaqua National Park
You'll know when you're in the Namaqua National Park - a tapestry of brilliant colours unfolds enticingly along the winding roads in August and September. Butterflies, birds and long-tongued flies dart around among the flowers, seemingly overwhelmed by the abundance and diversity.

With its winter rainfall, Namaqualand is home to the richest bulb flora of any arid region in the world and more than a 1 000 of its estimated 3 500 plant species are found nowhere else on earth. Fields of flowers, star-studded nights, quiver trees, enormous granite outcrops and the icy Atlantic are just some of the sights to catch.

The Namaqua National Park is on the western edge of the Northern Cape, in the world's only arid biodiversity hotspot, and is home to the world's smallest tortoise, the Namaqua speckled padloper.
 

Source: Mediaclubsouthafrica.com

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The History of South Africa

I thought this might be of interest to overseas readers, I will be featuring more sections in future newsletters

If the history of South Africa is in large part one of racial divisiveness, today it can also be seen as the story of the creation - from tremendous diversity - of a single nation.

Unearthing our human ancestors
Janine Erasmus

A team of researchers from South Africa, Israel and Canada, led by Canadian anthropologist Professor Michael Chazan and Dr Liora Horwitz of Jerusalem's Hebrew University, has found man-made artefacts, thought to be at least 2-million years old, in a cave in the Northern Cape.

The Wonderwerk (Afrikaans, meaning "miracle") cave, located 45km from Kuruman in the Northern Cape province, is a huge structure that has yielded a significant record of human history spanning hundreds of thousands of years. Ancient tools discovered in the cave are similar in age to those found at the bottom of Tanzania's Olduvai Gorge.

The 30 artefacts, mostly small tools, are among the oldest known items of their kind and provide evidence that our ancestors lived in caves even earlier than was previously thought. This important South African find is the result of more than 60 years of work on the site.

Because of the key role it has played in providing clues to our human existence, the Wonderwerk cave and its surroundings were proclaimed a national heritage site in 1993 and are currently on the Unesco World Heritage tentative list for South Africa. Although it is a valuable research site the cave is open to the public on an appointment basis.

A shelter for many
Bushman paintings on the Wonderwerk cave's walls have been dated back some 10 000 years. The cave was first inhabited by white settlers in the early 20th century, when the farmer P.E. Bosman and his family lived there between 1909 and 1911 while he was building the present homestead. He later used the cave as a shelter for stock.

Later, other farmers exploited the cave's abundant bat guano for commercial purposes. Although the mining unfortunately destroyed much of the natural sediment in the upper levels it also led to the discovery of the first artefacts, alerting the archaeological community to the potential importance of the site. The first excavations began in 1940.

The cave was owned by the Bosman and Nieuwoudt families until 1993 when they generously handed it over to the McGregor Museum in Kimberley, an institution that is active in a range of fields including archaeology and military and cultural history. The museum now oversees all scientific activity at the site.

Ancient cave-dwellers
The 30 most recently found artefacts were found at the bottom-most level of the Wonderwerk cave and are believed to have been left in the cave by its former dwellers, not washed into it from the outside. The deeper the excavation, the older the layer, and the bottom level has been dated back two million years by researchers using a combination of methods, including palaeomagnetic and cosmogenic burial dating techniques.

Palaeomagnetic dating is based on a global time scale that tracks changes in the orientation and intensity of the earth's magnetic field over time, while cosmogenic burial dating is based on radioactive decay of a pair of cosmogenic nuclides. Unlike the similar technique of carbon dating, it can measure extremely old dates.

While the oldest known stone tools, found in Ethiopia, date back 2.4-million years, those found inside Wonderwerk provide clues to the oldest known intentional cave dwelling by human ancestors, or hominids. Out of the numerous hominid species that lived in the area at the time, the most likely manufacturer of the tools, say researchers, is Homo habilis.

Compared to modern humans, Homo habilis was short in stature and had unusually long arms, with a skeletal structure similar to that of today's primates. The species was unknown until a specimen, consisting of bone from the head and hand, was discovered in Olduvai in 1960 by the Leakey team.

Shortly afterwards a multidisciplinary team comprising Kenyan archaeologist Louis Leakey, British primatologist John Napier, and South African palaeoanthropologist Phillip Tobias studied the specimen extensively before making their announcement in 1964 that it belonged to a new species of man.

The name, meaning "handy man" in reference to its tool-making abilities, was suggested by Raymond Dart, the renowned Australian anthropologist. Dart is best known for his discovery of the skull of the little Taung Child in the same region as the Wonderwerk Cave, which led to his subsequent announcement of the new species Australopithecus africanus.

The work of millions of years
At 139m in depth horizontally, Wonderwerk is big enough to shelter many families and their livestock. The cave is a solution cavity, which means that it was filled with water millions of years ago. Located in the Kuruman Hills, erosion on the hillside has exposed one end of the cave, and today the only permanent water source is the Boesmansgat (Afrikaans, meaning "Bushman's hole") sinkhole some 12km away, and a seep on Gakorosa Hill 5km south of the complex.

Geologically, the structure consists of stratified dolomitic limestone belonging to the 2.3-billion year old Ghaap Plateau Dolomite Formation. The almost perfectly flat Ghaap Plateau sits some 1 130m above sea level and extends 150km from east to west, between the Harts River valley and the Kuruman Hills.

The plateau is made up largely of calcrete, a mix of sand, gravel, clay and other materials cemented together by calcium carbonate. The calcrete is covered with sparse soil and sits on bedrock of dolomite or calcium manganese carbonate, containing numerous caves, sinkholes and underground waterways.

The Ghaap Plateau is notable as the location of the underground freshwater cave known as Boesmansgat, the scene of many a world deep diving record. The 13-year-old men's world record for cave diving is held by South African Nuno Gomes, with Gauteng resident Verna van Schaik holding the women's record. It is also the place where the plant Hoodia, currently fashionable as an appetite suppressant and diet-aid, is primarily found.

The bedrock in the front of the cave is covered by 4m of almost horizontal deposit layers. Research reveals that the uppermost metre spans the past 300 000 years, while the bottom layer reaches back to 2-million years. Investigation of the layers shows human occupation at all levels.

All archaeological material brought out of the Wonderwerk cave is now held by the McGregor Museum. These items include decorated ostrich eggshells, pollen dating back about 400 000 years, animal bones and remains including those of a now extinct species of horse, engraved stones, and stone implements such as Acheulean handaxes, which belong to the Acheulean tool industry from the Lower Palaeolithic era.

The area's renowned rock paintings were crafted in a variety of media ranging from red and yellow ochres of local origin to crushed plant roots and blood.

Source: mediaclubsouthafrica.com

Freebie!!

The freebie this time is a recipe eBook with Muffin recipes, right click here to download.

The second freebie contains Knorr recipes, right click here to download.

Words to live by 

If at first you don't succeed, then sky diving is not for you.

One Ticket is All It Takes

Not lucky in the SA Lotto? Why not take a chance on the UK Lotto? Minimum jackpot is Three million pounds (R36 million!) Now you can play the UK Lotto, Mega Millions, Euro Millions and Powerball and more from the same link. Give it a try and have some Lotto fun!
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MegaSena USD 10,500,000
OZLotto USD 9,700,000
UK Lottery GBP 2,200,000

Click here for a chance to win BIG! (Really big!)

Did you know that if you register for the first time, you get one free ticket?
Just click here and register

Some rhino facts

1.A group of rhinos is called a ‘crash’.

2.White rhinos aren’t white (and black rhinos aren’t black). The white rhino’s name is taken from the Afrikaans word describing its mouth: ‘weit’, meaning ‘wide’. Early English settlers in South Africa misinterpreted the ‘weit’ for ‘white’.

3.Rhinos are fast! They can run up to 30–40 miles per hour, which may not sound like much, but if one is running straight towards you it feels like a NASCAR race car is coming your way.

4.Rhino pregnancies last 15-16 months. Wow!

5.A rhino’s skin is much softer than it looks, and is actually quite sensitive to sunburns and insect bites (that’s why rhinos like rolling in the mud so much – it helps to protect them from the sunburns and insects).

6.Contrary to the common myth, there is no evidence that rhinos stamp out forest fires!

7.The white rhino is the largest rhino (and the largest land mammal after the elephant). They can weigh up to 6,000 pounds. The Sumatran rhino is the smallest rhino, weighing in at a mere 1,300–2,000 pounds.

8.Rhinos have poor eyesight, but very well-developed senses of smell and hearing. They will charge at you when startled–the best way to escape is by climbing a tree, if one is handy!

9.African rhinos have a symbiotic relationship with oxpeckers, also called ‘tick birds’. In Swahili, the oxpecker is called ‘askari wa kifaru’, which means ‘the rhino’s guard’. The oxpecker eats ticks and other insects it finds on the rhino, and creates a commotion when it senses danger.

10.Most rhinos use piles of dung to leave ‘messages’ for other rhinos. Nuances in the smell of dung can tell a rhino a lot about others in the area. Each rhino’s smell identifies its owner as unique. The smell is different for young vs. adult animals, for males vs. females, and females in estrus vs. non-reproductive females. Combined with urine left along trails, dung piles create invisible ‘borders’ around a rhino’s territory.

11.Rhinos have existed on earth for more than 50 million years, and once roamed throughout North America and Europe (as well as Asia and Africa).

12.Throughout their history, rhinos have been a very diverse group. The extinct rhino, Paraceratherium, was the largest land mammal that ever lived and resembled a big, muscular giraffe. Telecoeras was a single-horned, hippo-like grazer common in North America.

13.The book, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, written by L. Frank Baum and illustrated by W.W. Denslow, differs a lot from the classic movie and actually has a reference to rhinos. Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man and the Lion each get to meet the Wizard individually and he appears differently to each of them. To Dorothy, he appears as a huge head, to the Scarecrow as a beautiful woman, to the Lion as a great ball of fire, and to the Tin Man as a terrible beast. The beast is described as such: ‘It was nearly as big as an elephant, and the green throne seemed hardly strong enough to hold its weight. The Beast had a head like that of a rhinoceros, only there were five eyes in its face. There were five long arms growing out of its body and it also had five long, slim legs. Thick woolly hair covered every part of it, and a more dreadful-looking monster could not be imagined.’
Somehow, this never made it to the film version.

14.Three of the five surviving rhino species–black, Javan, and Sumatran–are Critically Endangered, which means there is at least a 50% chance that these species will become extinct within three generations (for rhinos, this means about 30-60 years).

15.The ancient woolly rhino, whose entire body was covered in a thick, shaggy coat, was hunted by early humans and is depicted in cave paintings dating back more than 30,000 years ago. The Sumatran rhino is the closest living relative of the extinct woolly rhino, and they’ve got the hair to prove it!

16.The black rhino has a prehensile lip which allows it to feed on trees and shrubs (the other African species, the white rhino, has a long, flat lip for grazing on grasses).

17.The Javan rhino is the rarest land mammal in the world. Less than 50 individuals survive in the wild!

18.Not all rhinos are solitary. Both black and white rhinos commonly live in extended family groups, typically comprised of females and calves.

19.Although science has proven rhino horn to be void of any curative medicinal properties, it is still illegally used in traditional Chinese medicines to treat a variety of ailments–from fevers to boils, liver dysfunction, cancer, and even devil possession. Contrary to a common misconception, one of the few things rhino horn is not used for is libido. The burgeoning demand for the horn stems almost exclusively from East and Southeast Asia–predominantly from China and Vietnam–and has fueled unprecedented poaching of these magnificent animals. As a result, they are now poached at a rate of at least one per day. In 2010, at least 333 rhinos were killed by poachers in South Africa alone. Already this year, the country has lost over 280!

20.Sumatran, black and white rhinos all have two horns, Javan and greater one-horned rhinos have one horn (and some female Javan rhinos don’t appear to have a horn at all).

21.The most famous piece of rhino artwork is Albrecht Durer’s woodcut, ‘The Rhinoceros’, printed in 1515. It (not entirely accurately) depicts a greater one-horned rhino sent as a gift from the King of Portugal to Pope Leo X, and has been reprinted countless times over the past 500 years.

22.The word rhinoceros comes from the Greek words, rhino (nose) and ceros (horn).

23.Depending on the species, rhinos can live to between 35 and 50 years old.

24.Rhino horns are made of keratin, the same material that makes up your hair and fingernails.

25.The closest living rhino ‘relatives’ are tapirs, horses and zebras.

Update on Anti-Poaching.

The SANParks Honorary Rangers recently donated R1,75m to the Kruger National Park(KNP) to help fight rhino poaching. The Honorary Rangers provided the Kruger's field rangers with counter-poaching equipment, during a handover ceremony held in Phalaborwa on November 3.

The park is facing a major poaching challenge, with 196 rhino having been poached this year alone. That is already considerably up from the previous shocking record of 146 rhino in 2010, and a major slice of the 347 rhino that have been poached country-wide.

The donation was made possible by the 'Unite Against Poaching' collaboration between the SANParks Honorary Rangers and Unitrans VW and Audi dealers. Unitrans donates R500 to counter poaching for every vehicle they sell.

Managing Executive of the Kruger National Park, Abe Sibiya, welcomed the donation, saying the rangers faced a number of challenges and, given the financial constraints, were not always adequately equipped. He added that dealing with poachers was a very complicated issue because they kept changing tactics and the rangers needed to constantly adapt to confront the new tactics.

The Chairperson of the Conservation Services unit of the SANParks Honorary Rangers, John Turner, said they had realised the importance of training and equipping the park's field rangers as key people in the poaching war. He said this was why the Honorary Rangers was committed to support the counter-poaching teams with all they needed, enabling them to do their work more effectively.

Find your way around South Africa

With this really informative map, just click here:  http://www.sa.c2a.co.za/#

 Source: SouthAfrica.info The all-in-one official guide and web portal to South Africa.  
 
Afrikaans Newsletter

Subscribe to my Afrikaans newsletter . Visit my Afrikaans website. Recipes and freebie with each newsletter.
 
Smile a While

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor.
The doctor says "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?"
The mother says, "It's my daughter, Debbie. She keeps getting these Cravings. She's putting on weight, and is sick most mornings.
"The doctor gives Debbie a good examination, then turns to the mother And says, -
"Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but your daughter is pregnant - about 4 months, would be my guess."
The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be. She has never ever been with a man! Have you Debbie?"
Debbie says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man, I'm still a Virgin!"
The doctor walked over to the window and just stood there staring out of it.
About 5 minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Is there something wrong out there doctor?"
The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and 3 wise men came over the hill. And there's no way I'm going to miss it this time!!!!"

Ineptocracy (in-ept-o-cra-cy)
- a system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and where the members of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed, are rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of producers.

Forgot my glasses ......
Yesterday my son asked why I didn't do something useful with my time.
He suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys.
I did this and when I got home last night I told him that I had joined a parachute club.
He said "Are you nuts? You're almost 75 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"
I proudly showed him that I even got a membership card.
He said to me, "You idiot, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!"
I'm in trouble again and don't know what to do! I signed up for five jumps a week!
Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said,
"I'd like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."


Notes left in milk bottles - remember the good old days?

After reading these, I realize why they stopped door-to-door delivery!!!
I've just had a baby, please leave another one.
Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk.
Cancel one pint after the day after today.
Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it.
Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk.
Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not bread today.
Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons on the dole.
Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks.
Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round.
When you leave my milk please knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress.
Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last night's Coronation Street . If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over a cup of tea?
My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle?
Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me.
Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant.
Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it.
From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk.
My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight.
Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday.
When you leave the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. P.S. Don't leave any milk.
No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice.

Getting Married
Jack, age 92, and Gill, age 89, living in Auckland, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a chemist shop and Jack suggests they go in.
Jack addresses the man behind the counter:
"Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jack: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jack: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds "
Jack: "Medicine for rheumatism?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jack: "How about suppositories?"
Pharmacist: "You bet!"
Jack: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, and Alzheimer's?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works.."
Jack: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely.."
Jack: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"
Pharmacist: "We sure do..."
Jack: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."
Jack: "Adult incontinence pants?"
Pharmacist: "Sure."
Jack: "Then we'd like to use this store for our wedding presents list..."

Letter to British Rail
Gentlemen, your trains are too full and I am tired of standing all the way to work. I think your transportation is worse than that which people enjoyed 2000 years ago.
Patrick Finnegan.
Answer form BR:
Dear Mr Finnegan, we acknowledge your letter on the shortcomings of our service but believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The only mode of transport 2000 years ago was by foot.
Sincerely, British Rail.
Reply from Finnegan:
Gentlemen, it is you who are confused about history. I refer you to the Bible, Kings chapter 9: "Balaam rode to town on his ass".
That is something I have not been able to do on your train for the last two years.
Sincerely, Patrick Finnegan.


The R12.99 Special
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'seniors' special' was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for R12.99.
'Sounds good,' my wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs..'
'Then, I'll have to charge you R13.49 because you're ordering a la carte,' the waitress warned her.
'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' my wife asked incredulously.
'YES!' stated the waitress.
'I'll take the special then,' my wife said..
'How do you want your eggs?' the waitress asked.
'Raw and in the shell,' my wife replied.
She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.
DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS!!!
WE'VE been around the block more than once!

A group of 40 year old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for dinner.
Finally they agreed they would meet at the Ocean View Restaurant
because the waiters there had tight pants and nice bodies.
Ten years later at 50 years of age, the group again discussed where
they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View Restaurant because the food there was very good and the wine selection was excellent.
Ten years on at 60 years of age, the group again discussed where they
should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View Restaurant because there they could eat in peace and quiet and the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean.
Ten years later at 70 years of age, the group again discussed where
they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View Restaurant because the Restaurant was wheel chair accessible and even had an elevator.
Ten years on at 80 years of age, the group again discussed where they
should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View Restaurant because they had never been there before.

FLU - To avoid it...
Eat right!

Make sure you get your daily dose of fruit and veggies.
Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.
Get plenty of exercise because it builds your immune system.
Walk for at least an hour a day,
Go for a swim,
Take the stairs instead of the lift, etc.
Wash your hands often.
If you can't, keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around.
Get lots of fresh air.
Open doors & windows whenever possible.
Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can.
Get plenty of rest.
OR
Take the doctor's approach.
Think about it...
When you go for a flu jab, what do they do first?
They clean your arm with alcohol...
Why?
Because Alcohol KILLS GERMS.
So...
I walk to the pub. (exercise)
I put lime in my vodka...(fruit)
Celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies)
Drink outdoors on the patio..(fresh air)
Tell rude jokes and laugh....(eliminate stress)
Then I pass out. (rest)
The way I see it...
If you keep your alcohol levels up,
Flu germs Can't get you!
As my grandmother always said,
'A shot in the glass is better than one in the ass!'

The Lions manager flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play rugby, is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Gauteng.
Two weeks later the Lions are 18-6 down to the Cheetahs with only 20 minutes left to play. The manager gives the young Iraqi winger the nod and on he goes.
The lad is a sensation, scores 4 tries in 20 minutes and wins the game for the Lions. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.
When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in Super 14 Rugby.
"Hello mum, guess what?" he says "I played for 20 minutes today, and we were 18-6 down but I scored 4 tries and we won! Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me!"
"Wonderful," says his mum, "Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and robbed; your sister and I were ambushed and beaten; your brother has joined a gang of looters and all while you were having such a great time playing rugby"
The young lad is very upset. "What can I say mum, but I am so sorry."
"Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!' shrieks his mum, "It's your fault we all moved to Jo'Burg in the first place!”

Some great resorts we have visited

We visited Ekuthuleni, click here for my report and some pictures.
You can also see some more photos here

Since Ekuthuleni we have also been to Hazyview Cabanas, for my write-up and pictures click here

We are just back from a really nice trip to Mozambique - Morrumbene Beach Resort

We have just returned from a glorious week at Mnarani Club, Kilifi, Kenya

We also had a really nice stay at Hole in the Wall and Caribbean Estates

Beacon Wharf in Mossel Bay, Eagles Nest in Sedgefield, and Ocean 11 in Mossel Bay

In June 2010 we visited Ukuthula and Modumela in Botswana. Click the links for stories and photos

Earlier this month we visited Sandy Place in St Lucia, for story and photos click the link

In August we visited Kagga Kamma, Sutherland, Wildflowers and Kgalagadi Transfrontier Park, see albums below:

Photo albums:

Kagga Album - http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=243611&id=741597237&l=be31067162

Sutherland - http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=243617&id=741597237&l=ff5500408e

Wildflowers - http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=243618&id=741597237&l=7dd7ded05a

Kgalagadi - http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=243620&id=741597237&l=be1fcce6bc

Our latest visit to Kgalagadi Transfrontier Park:
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150257112072238.373501.741597237&l=b55e3fb23d

St Lucia - July 2011
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150312483172238.390393.741597237&l=eb329c9cef&type=1

Cape Holiday - August 2011 -

The Wild Side - A selection of my photos
 

 

Giant heron


click to see larger image


We have just returned from a visit to Kruger National Park. Our favourite photo spot is the Lake Panic Bird Hide near Skukuza. We witnessed this Giant Heron catching a fish after standing still like a statue for more than an hour. As soon as he got the fish, two fish eagles promptly harrassed him, causing him to drop the fish, of course the fish eagles made off with the loot. We visited the Hide three times during our Kruger stay and each time the fish eagles took a fish off the poor heron. The photo shows an angry heron chasing after the fish eagles!
 
Zimbabwe update

For the latest on happenings in Zimbabwe, go to:  http://www.sokwanele.com/thisiszimbabwe/  and subscribe to their newsletter, a really good source of current information

Cathy Buckle is writing from Zimbabwe, her letter is below.

Dear Family and Friends,
The saying it never rains but it pours, was never more true than this week. After another round of scorching temperatures, punishing water shortages and bone dry days, a storm brewed up very rapidly early one evening. Very strong winds were followed by a spectacular half hour of continuous sheet and forked lightning and then the heavens opened.
Fifty millimetres (two inches) of rain pounded down in an hour and a half over areas of Mashonaland East and left us like drowned rats floating on the detritus. Areas of Harare had eighty millimetres in an hour and huge pine trees fell like matchsticks in many places.

I thought I’d had it bad when about two litres of rain streamed in through a hole in my roof soaking everything in its splash range below. It was nothing compared to a neighbour whose roof leak caught twenty litres of rain – it was like someone left the tap running he said. We both laughed at the insanity of that comparison because our taps only ever have water for a couple of hours a day if we’re lucky as our town continues to suffocate in a never ending water crisis.
It’s a crisis that has crippled most towns and cities around the country despite donors providing all the water treatment chemicals and almost three years of opposition control of town councils. The municipalities give more excuses than you can shake a stick at, none of which help alleviate the toil of finding, collecting and carrying water all the time, or reducing the fear of disease. A number of people in my immediate neighbourhood have been collecting water for weeks from an open and unprotected shallow well they have dug in a patch of open ground near a local cemetery. They had their water supplies disconnected by the local municipality because they couldn’t afford to pay large backdated accounts which went back to early 2009 when we converted to trading in US dollars. The amounts owing by residential households range from fifty to five hundred US dollars and leave people with no choice but to risk disease and collect water wherever they find it.

The last water-borne disease tragedy to hit Zimbabwe was an horrific cholera epidemic in 2008 which killed over four thousand people. This year the disease fear is typhoid. The Harare City Council this week said they were “talking numbers in excess of 500 cases” in the capital alone. Their spokesman said shallow wells and boreholes in unsuitable places were the main carriers of typhoid. Messages are being sent out by one mobile phone service provider alerting people to the spread of typhoid through contaminated food and water and advising people with fever, stomach pains and diarrhoea to get medical treatment immediately.

The morning after the storm the roads in my neighbourhood had been scoured. Thick beds of sand blanketed corners, dips and the bottoms of hills. Potholes and gullies not filled or patched, let alone even inspected for over five years, tripled in size and depth overnight.
What should have been simple, routine road maintenance has been ignored for so many years that it will now need heavy machinery and vast amounts of money to restore basic suburban roads.

Closer to home casualties of the rain storm lay in the form of carpets of flying ants’, countless drowned earth worms and curled up, water- logged sausage flies. A veritable explosion of Tsongololos
(millipedes) emerged from underground. Flooded out of their hiding places, they were drying out on rocks, logs and sandy patches everywhere. Hard at work were numerous birds whose nests had been damaged in the storm. Weavers, Flycatchers and Manikins worked tirelessly, flitting backwards and forwards with strips of grass, fluffy seeds and strands of papyrus. The best sight was that of a gorgeous Plum-coloured Starling carrying bunches of soft green Musasa leaves to re-line its nest in a toilet stack pipe. Such beauty in such an ugly venue, a familiar Zimbabwean contrast.

Until next time, thanks for reading,
love
cathy
26 November 2011.

www.cathybuckle.com
. For information on my new book: "INNOCENT VICTIMS" or my previous
books, "African Tears" and "Beyond Tears," or to
subscribe/unsubscribe to this newsletter, please write to: cbuckle@mango.zw
 
This South Africa - news headlines


Go to SouthAfrica.info Source: SouthAfrica.info
The all-in-one official guide
and web portal to South Africa.  
 
Recipe Requests

Looking for a specific South African recipe? Email me and I will do my best to find it for you! 
 
The Recipes

Roast Turkey with Cranberry Sausage Stuffing

340g ground pork sausage
1/4 cup unsalted butter
1 1/2 cups chopped onion
1 1/2 cups diced celery
1 tsp poultry seasoning
1 tsp sage, rubbed
1 cup cranberries, cut in half
4 1/4 cups dry bread cubes
1/2 cup chicken stock or water, plus a little extra
1 turkey, about 6kg
string
1/4 cup unsalted butter, melted
1 1/3 cups chicken stock

1. Cook sausage meat for 5-7 minutes over a medium heat, stirring frequently and breaking up meat until cooked through
2. Transfer sausage meat to a large bowl
3. Melt butter in the same pan, add onion and celery and cook 4 - 5 minutes, stirring frequently until tender
4. Stir in the next 5 ingredients and salt and pepper to taste
5. Transfer onion mixture to the bowl with the sausage meat, mix thoroughly, adding more stock if too dry
6. Season inside of turkey cavity with salt and pepper to taste
7. Fill neck and cavity with stuffing and truss bird with string
8. Pat skin dry with paper towels and brush turkey with melted butter
9. Place on a roasting rack inside a roasting pan and roast @ 160°C for 20 minutes per 500g, basting with chicken stock and brushing with butter every 25 minutes
10. Remove turkey from the oven and reserve fat and cooking juices for gravy
11. Allow turkey to stand for 20 minutes before carving

Tangy Mustard Glazed Ham

1 large ham , about 4 - 5 kg
GLAZE
1 cup light brown sugar
2 Tbsp golden syrup
2 Tbsp flour
1.4 tsp cinnamon
1 Tbsp Dijon mustard
1 Tbsp cider vinegar
2 Tbsp water

1. Heat over to 160°C and line a roasting pan with foil
2. Wrap the ham in foil, fatty side up, and place in pan
3. Bake for 20 minutes per 500g
4. Meanwhile make the glaze in a medium saucepan by combining sugar, cinnamon, flour, mustard and vinegar - stir over medium heat until smooth
5. Add water and bring to a simmer - simmer, stirring for 1 minute
6. When cooked, remove the foil from the ham and remove excess fat and skin
7. Score the ham all over the surface, creating a diamond pattern
8. Return to the over and continue baking for about 30 minutes, basting frequently with the glaze
9. Allow to stand for 20 minutes before slicing

Herb Turkey Stuffing

1 large onion, chopped
1 cup butter or margarine
1 cup celery, finely chopped
1 tsp poultry seasoning
1/2 tsp salt, or to taste
1/4 tsp pepper, or to taste
1 1/4 cups chicken stock
12 cups white bread cubes (about 24 slices)
3/4 cup parsley, chopped

1. Sauté the onions in the butter until translucent, but not browned
2. Stir in celery, chicken stock, poultry seasoning, salt and pepper and heat just to boiling point
3. Pour gradually over bread in a large bowl, stirring as you work to not dampen the mixture too much - toss lightly until evenly moist
4. Stuff in the neck and centre cavity of your turkey

Orange Liqueur Turkey Stuffing

1 cup raisins
1 1/2 cups orange liqueur
1 cup unsalted butter
2 cups chopped celery
1 onion, chopped
500g spicy sausage, casing removed
500g herb-seasoned dry bread stuffing mix
1 cup chopped pecan nuts
4 Granny Smith apples, cored and chopped
2 cups chicken stock
4 tsp chopped fresh sage
salt & pepper to taste

1. Place the raising in a small saucepan and cover with 1 cup water - bring to the boil, remove from the heat and set aside
2. In a large pan, melt half the butter, add the celery and onion and sauté over a medium heat for 10 minutes - transfer to a large mixing bowl
3. In the same pan, cook the sausage over a medium heat until crumbled and evenly brown - remove from heat, drain and add to the celery-onion mixture
4. Add the stuffing mix to the onion/celery/sausage mixture, then stir in the raisins and 1 cup of liqueur
5. Add pecans, apples and combine thoroughly
6. In a saucepan, melt the remaining 1/2 cup butter with the chicken broth and pour over the stuffing along with the remaining 1/2 cup of orange liqueur - stir well
7. The stuffing should be totally moistened
8. Season with sage, salt and pepper
9. Use to stuff either neck, stomach cavity, or both

Chilled Melon with Port

This makes an excellent start to a Christmas meal. It is a light starter to a heavy meal.
1 medium sized melon
90ml port
fresh mint for garnish

1. Wipe the melon with a damp cloth, then cut into 6 equal sized wedges and discard the pips
2. Carefully separate the flesh from the skin with a sharp knife, without removing it
3. Cut the fruit across in neat pieces keeping the wedge shape intact on the melon skin
4. Arrange the wedges on 6 plates and pour over the port, allowing 15ml per serving
5. Wrap in plastic wrap and chill for 2 hours before serving, garnished with fresh mint
You can also edge the plates with lemon juice and coloured or white sugar. Rub the edges with the lemon juice and then dip them in the sugar

Composed Grapefruit Salad

4 pink grapefruit
2 large avocado
juice of 2 lemons
2 smoked chicken breasts
150ml sunflower oil
curly endives
2 tsp whole seed mustard
2 tsp honey
salt & freshly ground black pepper
snipped chives for garnish

1. Peel and quarter the grapefruit lengthways, remove the seeds and slice them into neat sections
2. Peel and slice the avocado and soak it in the juice of the lemons
3. remove the skin from the chicken breast, cut the skin into strips and crisp in 15ml of hot oil - drain well and set aside
4. Slice the chicken breast very thinly
5. Line 8 dinner plates with washed and well drained endive
6. Arrange the grapefruit in an overlapping fan to take up 1/3 of the plate and do the same with the avocado and chicken
7. Mix the remaining lemon juice and oil with the mustard and honey, adding seasoning
8. Sprinkle some snipped chives over the avocado and place the crisped skin over the chicken slices
9. Cover well with plastic wrap and refrigerate
10. Spoon over the dressing just before serving

Cold Christmas Pudding

1 large tin evaporated milk
30ml water
1 box vanilla instant pudding
1 Tbsp gelatine
1/3 cup boiling water
2 Tbsp sultanas
2 Tbsp raisins
2 Tbsp currants
100g cherries
a little water for boiling the fruit
1/2 cup brandy

1. Boil the fruit for a few minutes, then pour off the water and pour over the brandy - leave for a few hours, or overnight
2. Put evaporated milk and 30ml water in a bowl and add the instant pudding, beating until thick
3. Fold in the fruit and add the dissolved gelatine (in the 1/3 cup of boiling water) and mix well
4. Pour into a mould and put in the fridge to set
5. Serve with custard or cream

Mince Pies

PASTRY
175g flour
1/2 tsp salt
15g sugar
113g unsalted butter, chilled and cut into 2.5cm pieces
30 - 60ml ice water
MINCEMEAT FILLING
312g jar mincemeat
1/2 medium Granny Smith apple, peeled, cored and grated
zest of 1 lemon

1. In a food processor place the flour, salt and sugar and process until combined
2. Add the butter and process until the mixture resembles coarse meal (about 15 seconds)
3. Pour 30ml water in a slow, steady stream until dough just holds together when pinched - if necessary add more water - do not process for more than 30 seconds
4. Turn the dough onto your work surface and gather into a ball
5. Divide the pastry in half, flatten each half into a disk, cover with plastic wrap, and refrigerate for 30 minutes to 1 hour before using
6. This will chill the butter and relax the gluten in the flour
7. While the pastry is chilling, combine, in a small bowl, the mincemeat with the grated apple and lemon zest, adding more or less of each to taste - you can also add orange zest, chopped nuts or dried or candied fruits and a little extra brandy or rum
8. After the dough has chilled, take one of the disks of pastry and place on a light floured surface
9. Roll out until 3mm thick and cut 24 rounds that are slightly bigger than your muffin tins
10. Gently place the rounds into the muffin tins and place a teaspoon of mincemeat mixture into each tin and set aside while you make the pastry stars
11. Roll out the second pastry disk and cut out 24 stars and gently place them on top of the mincemeat
12. Brush the tops of the stars with a little egg wash (1 large egg whisked with 1 Tbsp water) and sprinkle with granulated sugar
13. Bake @ 200°C for about 10 - 15 minutes or until pastry has lightly browned
13. Remove from the oven and cool on a wire rack
14. Dust with icing sugar before serving at room temperature
These tarts freeze very well

Leftover Turkey Casserole

3 cups cubed, cooked roast turkey
1 cup celery, chopped
1 medium onion, chopped
leftover gravy + water to equal 1 cup - or 1 cup cream of mushroom soup
1 cup mayonnaise
2 Tbsp lemon juice
3/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
paprika for garnish
crushed potato crisps

1. Preheat oven to 180°C
2. Mix all the ingredients except for paprika and potato crisps together and put into a casserole dish
3. Cover with crushed potato crisps and sprinkle with paprika
4. Bake uncovered for about 30 minutes or until crisps begin to brown

Mulled Wine

Mulled wine is traditional at a German Christmas celebration.
4 cups red wine (burgundy or claret)
1/2 cup water
peel of 1 orange
peel of 1 lemon
1 stick cinnamon
6 cloves
1/4 to 1/2 cup sugar (to taste)

1. Put all the ingredients in a saucepan and simmer gently for 5 - 10 minutes
2. Strain through a sieve
3/ Serve while still hot

Oysters with Pine Nut and Bacon

24 oysters
2 rashers rindless bacon
30g butter
1 small onion, finely chopped
125g rocket leaves
2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
2 Tbsp pine nuts, chopped and toasted

1. Remove the oysters from their shells - clean and dry the shells
2. Finely chop the bacon and fry for 2 minutes until just soft - remove from the pan
3. Melt the butter in the same pan and add the onion and stir until soft
4. Add torn rocket leaves to the pan and stir until just wilted
5. Stir in the Worcestershire sauce
6. Divide the rocket among the oyster shells, replace the oysters in the shells and top with the combined bacon and pine nuts
7. Grill under a hot grill for 2-3 minutes, or until the bacon is crisp

Glazed Gammon

3-4 kg gammon
1 x onion
1 x carrot
1 x stick of celery
2 bay leaves
6 peppercorns
500ml apple cider
glaze of your choice
cloves

1. Preheat the oven to 160°C
2. Put the gammon in a large casserole dish together with the chopped onion, carrot, celery, bay leaves and peppercorns
3. Add the apple cider and cover with foil
4. Cook for 20 minutes per 500g of meat - allow to cool in the liquid
5. Remove the gammon from the liquid and vegetables
6. Remove the rind by running your thumb around the edge and carefully pulling the rind back, easing your hand under between the fat and the rind
7. With a sharp knife, lightly score the fat to form a diamond pattern - do not cut through to the gammon, or the fat will fall off while glazing
8. Spread half of the glaze of your choice over the gammon with a palette knife or the back of a spoon and press a clove into each diamond
9. Put the ham on a rack of a deep baking dish and pour a cup of water into the dish
10. Cover the dish securely with greased foil and cook @ 180°C for 45 minutes
11. Remove from the oven and brush or spread the remaining glaze over the gammon
12. Increase the heat to 210°C and bake, uncovered, for 20 minutes, or until the surface is lightly caramelized - set aside for 15 minutes before carving

HONEY GLAZE
Mix 125g soft brown sugar, 3 Tbsp honey and 1 Tbsp hot English mustard together in a bowl

ORANGE GLAZE
Stir together 250ml orange juice, 140g soft brown sugar, 1 Tbsp French mustard, 175g honey, 2 tsp soy sauce and 1 Tbsp Grand Marnier in a bowl

MUSTARD & REDCURRANT GLAZE
Put 90g Dijon mustard, 315g redcurrant jelly, 4 crushed cloves of garlic and 2 Tbsp each of oil and soy sauce into a small saucepan. Stir and gently warm over medium heat for 2-3 minutes, or until the jelly has melted. Take care the glaze doesn't catch on the base of the pan.

Pork Fillet with Apple and Mustard Sauce and Glazed Apples

750g pork fillet
30g butter
1 Tbsp oil
1 clove garlic, crushed
1/2 tsp fresh, grated ginger
1 Tbsp seeded mustard
60ml apple sauce
2 Tbsp chicken stock
125ml cream
1 tsp cornflour
GLAZED APPLES
2 green apples
50g butter
2 Tbsp soft brown sugar

1. Trim the pork fillet and remove any fat and sinew - tie with kitchen string at 3 cm intervals to keep in shape
2. Heat the butter and oil in a pan, add the fillet and cook until lightly browned all over - remove and place on the rack of a baking dish - retain pan juices
3. Add 125ml water to the baking dish and bake @ 180°C for 15 - 20 minutes - leave for 10 minutes before removing string and slicing
4. For the sauce, reheat the pan juices, add the garlic and ginger and stir for 1 minute
5. Stir in the mustard, apple sauce and stock
6. Slowly stir in the combined cream and cornflour and stir until mixture boils and thickens
7. For the glazed apples, cut the apples into 1 cm slices
8. Melt the butter in the pan and add the sugar - stir until dissolved
9. Add the apple slices and pan-fry, turning occasionally, until lightly browned and glazed
10. Slice the pork and serve the apple and mustard sauce over it - serve with the glazed apples
NOTE
Pork fillets can be thick and short or long and thin and the time they take to cook will vary accordingly

Roast Chicken with Bacon and Sage Stuffing

2 x 1.2 kg chickens
4 rashers bacon
2 Tbsp oil
1 small onion, finely chopped
1 Tbsp chopped, fresh sage
125g fresh breadcrumbs
1 egg, lightly beaten

1. Preheat oven to 180°C - trim the chickens and pat dry inside and outside with paper towels
2. Finely chop 2 of the bacon rashers
3. Heat half the oil in a pan, add the onion and bacon and cook until the onion is soft and the bacon starting to brown
4. Transfer to a bowl and cool
5. Add the sage, breadcrumbs and egg to the onion, season to taste and mix lightly - spoon stuffing into each chicken cavity
6. Fold the wing back and tuck under the chicken - tie the legs of each chicken together with string
7. Place on a rack of a large baking dish, making sure they are not touching and brush with some of the remaining oil
8. Pour 1 cup of water into the baking dish
9. Cut the remaining bacon into long, thin strips and lay across the chicken breasts - brush the bacon with oil
10. Bake for 60 minutes, or until the juices run clear when a thigh is pierced with a skewer
NOTE
This chicken dish is delicious served with a gravy with wine sauce and roast vegetables

Roast Turkey

3 kg turkey
1 quantity of stuffing - see below
2 Tbsp oil
500ml chicken stock
2 Tbsp plain flour

1. Remove the neck and giblets from inside the turkey and wash the turkey well and pat dry
2. Preheat the oven to 180°C
3. Make the stuffing you prefer and stuff into the turkey cavity
4. Tie the legs together, tuck the wings underneath and place turkey on a baking rack
5. Roast for 2 hours, basting with the combined oil and 125ml stock
6. Cover the breast and legs with foil after an hour if the turkey is overbrowning
7. Remove from oven, cover and leave for 15 minutes to rest
8. To make the gravy, drain off all except 2 Tbsp of pan juices from the baking dish
9. Place the dish on the stove over a low heat, add the flour and stir well
10. Stir over medium heat until browned
11. Gradually add the remaining stock, stirring until the gravy thickens and boils
NOTE
Do not stuff the turkey until you are ready to cook it. Stuffing can be made ahead of time and frozen for up to a month in an airtight container. If you prefer to cook the stuffing separately, press it lightly into a greased ovenproof dish and bake for about 30 minutes, or until golden brown. Small muffin tins can also be used (bake for 15 - 20 minutes) Alternatively, you can form the mixture into balls and fry in a little melted butter or oil, over a medium heat, until golden brown all over.

CITRUS STUFFING
Heat 1 tablespoon of oil in a small frying pan and cook 1 finely chopped onion until soft. Transfer to a large bowl and cool. Add 200g sausage meat, 2 crushed cloves of garlic, 2 cups of fresh white breadcrumbs, 2 teaspoons each of grated lemon and orange rinds and 60g finely chopped pecans, and mix well. Season to taste with salt and pepper and mix.

COUNTRY SAGE STUFFING
Melt 45g butter in a small saucepan and cook 1 finely chopped onion and 1 sliced celery stick over medium heat for 3 minutes, or until the onion has softened. Transfer to a bowl and add 10 shredded, large fresh sage leaves, 2 cups fresh white breadcrumbs, 1 1/2 tsp dried sage, 4 Tbsp finely chopped, fresh parsley, 2 lightly beaten egg whites, 1 tsp salt and 1/2 tsp white pepper.

CASHEW STUFFING
Melt 60g butter in a frying pan and cook 1 chopped onion until golden. Cool, then mix thoroughly with 2 cups cooked, long-grain brown rice, 1 cup chopped, dried apricots, 1/2 cup unsalted cashews, 3 Tbsp chopped, fresh parsley, 2 Tbsp chopped, fresh mint and 1 Tbsp lemon juice. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Slow Roasted Lamb with Cumin and Paprika

2.2 kg leg of lamb
75g butter, softened at room temperature
3 cloves garlic, crushed
2 tsp ground cumin
3 tsp ground coriander
1 tsp paprika
1 Tbsp cumin extra for dipping

1. Preheat the oven to 220°C
2. With a small, sharp knife, cut small, deep slits in the top and sides of the lamb
3. Mix the butter, garlic, spices and 1/4 tsp salt in a bowl until a smooth paste forms
4. With the back of a spoon, rub the paste all over the lamb, then use your fingers to spread the paste and make sure all the lamb is covered
5. Put the lamb bone-side-down in a deep baking dish and place on the top shelf of the oven - bake for 10 minutes, then baste and return to the oven
6. Reduce the temperature to 160°C and bake for 3 hours 20 minutes, basting every 20 - 30 minutes to tenderize the meat
7. Allow to rest for 15 minutes, then carve into chunky pieces
8. Mix the cumin with 1 1/2 tsp salt and serve on the side for dipping

Ice Cream Bombe

1 large mango, finely chopped
1 cup canned pineapple pieces, drained
60ml Grand Marnier
250g fresh strawberries, pureed
400g can condensed milk
600ml cream
80g dessert nougat, chopped
35g roughly chopped unsalted pistachios
strawberries, extra, halved to garnish
TOFFEE BARK
90g caster sugar

1. Lightly grease a 2 litre pudding bowl and line with plastic wrap, allowing to hang over the side of the basin
2. Put it in the freezer until ready to use
3. Drain the mango and pineapple in a sieve
4. Mix the Grand Marnier, strawberry puree and condensed milk in a large bowl
5. Whisk the cream to soft peaks, then add to the bowl and continue whisking until thick
6. Fold in the drained fruits, nougat and pistachios
7, Pour the mixture into the pudding bowl, cover with plastic wrap and freeze overnight, or until firm
8. To serve, remove the plastic from the base and invert the pudding onto a chilled serving plate - remove the bowl, but leave the plastic wrap and refrigerate for 15 - 25 minutes to soften slightly
9. For the toffee bark, line a baking tray with baking paper
10. Heat the sugar over a low heat in a heavy-based saucepan for 2 - 3 minutes, or until melted and golden
11. Carefully pour into the tray
12. Tilt the tray to get a thin, even layer of toffee over the paper and cool slightly
13. While still pliable, drape the paper over a rolling pin and allow to cool for 30 - 60 seconds before peeling away strips of toffee in large irregular shapes
14. Cool - to serve, remove the plastic and decorate the bombe with toffee bark and strawberries
NOTE
Dessert nougat is a soft nougat available at confectionery shops and some delicatessens

Summer Berries in Champagne Jelly

1 litre champagne or sparkling white wine
1 1/2 tsp powdered gelatine
250g sugar
4 strips lemon rind
4 strips orange rind
250f small strawberries, hulled
250g blueberries (or any other blue berries)

1. Pour half the champagne into a bowl and let the bubbles subside
2. Sprinkle the gelatine over the top in an even layer
3. Leave until the gelatine is spongy - do not stir
4. Pour the remaining champagne into a saucepan, add the sugar and rinds and heat gently, stirring constantly, until all the sugar has dissolved
5. Remove the saucepan from the heat, add the gelatine mixture and stir until thoroughly dissolved
6. Leave to cool completely, then remove the rind
7. Divide the berries among eight 125ml stemmed wine glasses and gently pour the jelly over them
8. Refrigerate until set - remove from the fridge 15 minutes before serving

Rum Truffles

200g dark cooking chocolate, finely chopped
60ml cream
30g butter
50g chocolate cake crumbs
2 tsp dark rum, brandy or whisky
95g chocolate sprinkles

1. Line a baking tray with foil
2. Put chocolate in a heat-proof bowl
3. Combine the cream and butter in a small pan and stir over a low heat until the butter melts and the mixture is just boiling
4. Pour the hot cream mixture over the chocolate and stir until the chocolate melts and the mixture is smooth
5. Stir in the cake crumbs and rum
6. Refrigerate for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally, or until firm enough to handle
7. Roll heaped teaspoons of the mixture into balls
8. Spread the chocolate sprinkles on a sheet of greaseproof paper and roll each truffle in sprinkles
9. Place on a tray and refrigerate for 30 minutes, or until firm
10. Serve in a small paper patty cup, if desired
NOTE
Truffles can also be rolled in dark cocoa powder. They can be made up to a week in advance and refrigerated in an airtight container

Sugar-Free Christmas Pudding

6 ripe bananas, mashed
1 egg, lightly beaten
2 cups (370g) mixed dried fruit
1 cup fresh breadcrumbs
ORANGE CREAM
315ml cream
2 Tbsp orange juice
1 Tbsp grated orange rind
1 tsp vanilla essence

1. Place a 1.25 litre pudding basin in a large pan, on a trivet or upturned saucer, and pour enough cold water to come half way up the sides of the basin - remove the basin and put the water on to boil
2. Combine the egg, dried fruit and breadcrumbs in a bowl, then spoon into the pudding basin
3. Cover the basin and make a handle as shown below
4. Gently lower the basin into the boiling water, reduce the heat to a fast simmer and cover with a tight-fitting lid
5. Cook for 1 1/2 hours, checking the water after an hour and topping up to the original level with boiling water if needed
6. For the orange cream, combine the cream, orange juice, rind and vanilla in a bowl and mix well - serve over the pudding

and finally...
Sent to me by Anne Cotton in the UK. Just a small recipe for all the Scots (and other ex-pats) in sunny South Africa.

GLESGA FRUITCAKE
Ingredients

1 Cup of Water
1 Cup Caster Sugar
4 Large Eggs
2 Cups Dried Fruit
1 tsp Baking Powder
sp Salt
1 Cup Brown Sugar
Lemon Juice
1 Cup Butter
Chopped Nuts
1 Gallon Whisky

Method

Sample the whisky to check for quality – Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup to drink and repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar and beat again. Make sure the whisky is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If fried druit gets stuck in the beaters, pry loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whisky again to test for toncistency. Next, sift 2 cups of salt ……………….. or something else, who cares? Check the whisky and then sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add 1 tablespoon of sugar or something – whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whisky again. Go to bed. Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway? (hic!)
 

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I received this email recently:

Yes, out of curiosity I visited Be Motivated Today during September 2009, but only joined during August 2010, what a waste of time!!!.
If I knew what was happening during the year I wasted, man, I would have joined immediately after I  read the details of the setup.
I now have a waiting list of seven on my downline (one already joined as Silver), the others are bound to join during November and they are jumping around purely from excitement to get started and its rubbing off on me as well.
Just one question: My intention is to place an invitation advertisement on the rear window of my car, do you think it could shake some people out of their dreams and make them joining us?


My Super Duper Recipe CD

I have just added 37 very old digitally scanned (you see the actual pages of the book) recipe books to the CD, at no extra cost. Here is your chance to have a really unique recipe book collection.

I have decided to simplify the way I sell my recipe eBook collection.

I am putting them all on one CD in an English and Afrikaans folder now also a folder with the very old books,  over 130 recipe eBooks in all. That means less than R1 a recipe book, a real bargain! Most of the books come with resale rights so you can sell them individually if you wish.

Pricing: The CD costs  R120 registered postage included (R150 for next day Speed Services delivery in SA). Once I mail the CD I will email you the post office tracking number

Paypal orders also accepted at US$20 per CD overseas postage included. My Paypal email addy is peter@funkymunky.co.za

If you are interested in my Super CD just click here and I will send you my banking details. Remember to include you postal address.

As soon as I mail the CD I will email you the post office tracking number as proof of despatch.

FunkyMunky Traditional South African Recipes - A comprehensive collection of Traditional South African recipes.
Tradisionele Suid Afrikaanse Resepte - Traditional South African Recipes in Afrikaans
Christmas Recipes - A selection of Christmas Recipes for you to try!
101 Camping and Outdoor Recipes - Recipes for you to try next time you go camping
400 Refreshing punch recipes - Some great ideas for liquid refreshment at your next party
Favourite Christmas Cookies - 34 Great cookie recipes for you to enjoy!
Christmas Cookie Recipes - A delicious collection of Christmas Cookie Recipes
A Homemade Christmas - 100 Simple and delicious recipes for your special holiday meals
Holiday Candy and Fudge - 42 Great candy recipes, a hit with kids of all ages!
Kids Fun Recipes - 120 Fun and Delicious Recipes
Delicious Puddings - A Collection of 167 Pudding Recipes
Pumpkin Pie - Pumpkin pies and more!
Salad Recipes - A Collection of Easy to Follow Salad Recipes
Summer Party Cookbook - The name says it all!
Pampercat and Pamperdog - Recipe treats for your feline and canine friends
80 Seasonal Recipes from around the world - A selection of festive recipes from the four corners of the globe!
Crockpot Recipes - In South Africa we would probably call this Potjiekos
International Recipes - A selection of recipes from all over the world
Fish and Game Recipes - A selection of mouthwatering recipes
Lemonade - A large selection of lemonade recipes
Pizzeria - Try some of these great pizza recipes
Casseroles - 17 pages of mouthwatering casserole recipes
Low Fat Recipes - Watching your cholesterol? Then this is for you!
Soup Recipes - Ideal for those cold winter evenings
Chicken Recipes - 300 Delicious Chicken Recipes
Amish Recipes - 65 Tried and True Traditional Amish Recipes
Apple Recipes - Mouth watering apple recipes
Blue Ribbon Recipes - 490 Award Winning Recipes
The Bread Book - The bread and biscuit baker's and sugar boiler's assistant
Chocolate Delights - Deliciously decadent and delightful recipes for the chocaholic in you
Carolina Mountain Cooking - Created from the recipes and memories of two of the Carolina Mountain's most talented cooks.
Egg Recipes - 111 Great Egg Recipes
Great Gifts in a Jar - A personally made gift is usually more appreciated!
Italian Recipes - A collection of 185 delicious Italian dishes
Smoothies - 126 Easy recipes for maximum sports performance
Top Secret Recipes - Top secret famous recipes
Wings - The ultimate chicken wing cookbook
The Barmaster - Essential tips and techniques for bartenders
Be a Grillmaster - How to host the perfect bbq!
101 Good Jam Recipes - Make your own jams, 101 recipes for you to try
Deep Fryer Recipes - 101 Recipes for the Deep Fryer
Frozen Dessert Recipes - From ice cream to yoghurt - 170 pages of mouthwatering recipes.
Recipes from South of the Border - 247 pages of typically Mexican recipes
Various Rice Dishes - 32 Great Rice Dishes
The Appetizer Collection - More than 150 pages of great ideas for appetizers
The Big Book of Cookies - From Almond Bars to Zucchini Bars, they are all here, 233 pages of cookie recipes
Salad Recipes - A Collection of Easy to Follow Salad Recipes
Delicious Diabetic Recipes - A Collection of over 500 yummy recipes.
Cheesecake Recipes - Nearly 100 pages of yummilicious cheesecake recipes!

Bonus eBooks

Something for the gardeners
Organic Secrets - Everything you wanted to know about organic food


Profitable Crafts- Vol 1
Profitable Crafts - Vol 2
Profitable Crafts - Vol 3
Profitable Crafts - Vol 4
20 Vintage Crochet Patterns

Everything you wanted to know about making, marketing and selling your crafts.


Big Fat Lies - A shocking expose of the 12 biggest scams, cover-ups, lies, myths and deceptions
in the diet and weight-loss industries.

10,000 Dreams Interpreted

A List of the very old digitally scanned recipe eBooks.

A Calendar of Dinners with 615 recipes - 1922
A Dozen dainty recipes for preparing wartime canned meats - 1920
A Home Guide - or a book by 500 ladies - 1877
Aunt Carolines Dixieland Recipes - 1922
A Practical Dictionary of Cookery - 1200 tested recipes - 1898
Best recipes for baking - pre 1908
Buckeye Cookery and Practical Housekeeping - 1877
Burke's Complete Cocktail and tasty bite recipes - 1936
Catering for special occasions with menus and recipes - 1911
Diabetic Cookery - recipes and menus - 1917
Fifty Choice Recipes for Spanish and Mexican Dishes - 1905
Fifty valuable and delicious recipes made with corn meal - 1917
Heart of the Wheat - a book of recipes - 1910
Hospitality - recipes and enteertainment hints for all occasions - 1922
Hotel Management - quantity food recipes
Household hints and recipes - 1877
Ice Cream - practical recipes for making ice cream - 1886
Information for everybody - 1859
Jane Hamiltons Recipes - 1909
Just the thing - dainty dishes at small cost - 1899
Larger cookery book of extra recipes - 1891
Leather Manufacture - 1891
Light entertaining - a book of dainty recipes for special occasions - 1910
Mom's Cookbook
On Uncle Sam's Water Wagon - 500 recipes for delicious drinks that can be made at home - 1919
Our candy recipes - 1919
Practical Household Cookery - 1000 recipes - 1891
Preserves and Pickles - 1912
Recipes - dainties, salads and clever hints - 1919
Recipes for the preserving of fruit vegetables and meat - 1908
The Candy Maker's Guide - 1896
The Housekeeper's Friend - 1897
The Hygenic Cookbook - 1881
Tried and Tested Recipes - 1921
Two Hundred and Seventy Five Wartime Recipes - 1918
Two hundred recipes for cooking in casseroles - 1914
Two hundred recipes for making desserts - 1912
War Time Cookery - 1917
Wheatless Recipes - 1918
Wrinkles and Recipes, including farming and household hints - 1877

And here is a list of the recipe eBooks on the Afrikaans CD:

217 Egte Afrikaanse resepte, Aartappels, Beskuitresepte, Afrikaanse Resepteverskeidenheid, Brood resepte, Vul die beskuitblik, 'n Broodjie vir die blik, Blokkieskoek, Burgers Patties Frikadelle, Brood resepte, Drankies, Drinkgoed, Gemmerbier, Groente, Eet jou groente, Hoender resepte, Happies en Poffers, Kaaskoek, Ietsie anders resepte, Kerskoeke, Karavaan resepte, Kleinkoekies, Kinderlekkerte, Koekiedrukker resepte, Koeke, Likeur, Lekkergoed resepte, Nog resepte, McCain resepte, Moedersdag resepte
Mikrogolf resepte, Peterjasie se boek, Pastageregte, Peterjasie se Kersresepte versameling
Peterjasie se eBoek van vernoemde resepte, Poeding, Peterjasie se Tradisionele SA resepte
Resepte met biltong, Resepteverskeidenheid - ook grootmaat, Slaaie, Sommer net resepte, Sop in die pot, Sop resepte, Terte, Sous, Verskeie resepte 1, Souttert & Pannekoek, Vis en hoender, Veelsydige hoender, Vleisgeregte vir Kersdag, Verskeie resepte 2, Warm en koue drankies, Vleisresepte, Wille samies, Wafels en Pannekoeke, Wors en worsies

Allerlei

Annette se Boererate, Boererate en Verbruikerswenke, Hartstigting dieet, Lennons medikasie, Mate en gewigte, Sop dieet, S A Boererate eBoek, Metrieke omskakelingstabel, Werk van die huis


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Children's Stories on CD
Find it hard to get quality children’s stories? Join the popular Anna Emm Story Club in Afrikaans or English, and start adding to your child’s CD collection at an early age! Collect al 96 original stories (on 48 CDs!) over 2 years, or join for a minimum of 3 months - you decide! Receive 2 new CDs with original children’s stories every month! Anna Emm Productions has already produced more than 500 new children’s stories on CD. Click here to join . Ideal gift for children and grandchildren.


Africam
Just another reminder to join the Africam fan page on Facebook. They will be posting photos / videos and other udates and articles on the fan page from now.
join at http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/pages/Africam/169676953137?ref=ts
Also visit the Africam  website

Subscribe / Unsubscribe / Contact

To subscribe to this newsletter and view previous newsletters,  click here, to subscribe to my Afrikaans newsletter, click here. To unsubscribe, click on the appropriate link above and unsubscribe or email me at :  peter@funkymunky.co.za
 

 

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