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South African Folk-lore tales

In South Africa we love the outdoors and camping and a very special time is sitting around the campfire in the evenings and telling stories. I recently came upon a book titled Outa Karel's Stories. Over the next few letters I will be featuring tales from this book which was published in 1914 and written by Sannie Metelerkamp. I will start off with the foreword and introduction before getting to the actual stories.

OUTA KAREL'S STORIES
SOUTH AFRICAN FOLK-LORE TALES BY SANNI METELERKAMP
MACMILLAN AND CO., LIMITED
ST. MARTIN'S STREET, LONDON
1914

Here is the second story, [previous stories can be found here.

Who was King?

“Once upon a time,” began Outa Karel, and his audience of three looked up
expectantly.
“Once upon a time, Oom Leeuw roared and the forest shook with the dreadful sound.
Then, from far away over the vlakte, floated another roar, and the little lion cubs
jumped about and stood on their heads, tumbling over each other in their merriment.
“‘Hear,’ they said, ‘it is Volstruis, old Three Sticks. He tries to imitate the King, our
father. He roars well. Truly there is no difference.’
“When Leeuw heard this he was very angry, so he roared again, louder than ever.
Again came back the sound over the veld, as if it had been an echo.
“‘Ach, no! this will never do,’ thought Leeuw. ‘I must put a stop to this impudence. I
alone am King here, and imitators—I want none.’
“So he went forth and roamed over the vlakte till he met old Three Sticks, the
Ostrich. They stood glaring at each other.
“Leeuw’s eyes flamed, his mane rose in a huge mass and he lashed his tail angrily.
Volstruis spread out his beautiful wings and swayed from side to side, his beak open
and his neck twisting like a whip-snake. Ach! it was pretty, but if baasjes could have
seen his eyes! Baasjes know, Volstruis’s eyes are very soft and beautiful—like
Nonnie’s when she tells the Bible stories; but now there was only fierceness in them,
and yellow lights that looked like fire.
“But there was no fight—yet. It was only their way of meeting. Leeuw came a step
nearer and said, ‘We must see who is baas. You, Volstruis, please to roar a little.’
“So Volstruis roared, blowing out his throat, so, ‘Hoo-hoo-hoor-r-r-r!’ It was a
fearsome sound—the sort of sound that makes you feel streams of cold water running
down your back when you hear it suddenly and don’t know what it is. Yes, baasjes, if
you are in bed you curl up and pull the blankets over your head, and if you are outside
you run in and get close to the Nooi or Nonnie.”

A slight movement, indicative of contradiction, passed from one to another of his
small hearers, but—unless it was a free and easy, conversational evening—they made
it a point of honour never to interrupt Outa in full career. This, like other things, could
await the finish of the story.
“Then Leeuw roared, and truly the voices were the same. No one could say, ‘This is a
bigger voice,’ or ‘That is a more terrifying voice.’ No, they were just equal.
“So Leeuw said to Volstruis, ‘Our voices are alike. You are my equal in roaring. Let
it then be so. You will be King of the Birds as I am King of the Beasts. Now let us go
hunting and see who is baas there.’
“Out in the vlakte some sassaby1 were feeding, big fat ones, a nice klompje; so
Leeuw started off in one direction and Volstruis in the other, but both kept away from
the side the wind came from. Wild bucks can smell—ach toch! so good. Just one little
puff when a hunter is creeping up to them, and at once all the heads are in the air—
sniff, sniff, sniff—and they are off like the wind. Dust is all you see, and when that
has blown away—ach no! there are no bucks; the whole veld is empty, empty!”
Outa stretched out his arms and waved them from side to side with an exaggerated
expression of finding nothing but empty space, his voice mournful with a sense of
irreparable loss.
“But”—he took up his tale with renewed energy—“Leeuw and Volstruis were old
hunters. They knew how to get nearer and nearer without letting the bucks know.
Leeuw trailed himself along slowly, slowly, close to the ground, and only when he
was moving could you see which was Leeuw and which was sand: the colour was just
the same.
“He picked out a big buck, well-grown and fat, but not too old to be juicy, and when
he got near enough he hunched himself up very quietly—so, my little masters, just
so—ready to spring, and then before you could whistle, he shot through the air like a
stone from a catapult, and fell, fair and square, on to the sassaby’s back, his great
tearing claws fastened on its shoulders and his wicked teeth meeting in the poor
thing’s neck.
“Ach! the beautiful big buck! Never again would his pointed horns tear open his
enemies! Never again would he lead the herd, or pronk in the veld in mating time!
Never again would his soft nostrils scent danger in the distance, nor his quick hoofs
give the signal for the stampede! No, it was really all up with him this time! When
Oom Leeuw gets hold of a thing, he doesn’t let go till it is dead.
“The rest of the herd—ach, but they ran! Soon they were far away, only specks in the
distance; all except those that Volstruis had killed. Truly Volstruis was clever!
Baasjes know, he can run fast—faster even than the sassaby. So when he saw Leeuw
getting ready to spring, he raced up-wind as hard as he could, knowing that was what
the herd would do. So there he was waiting for them, and didn’t he play with them!
See, baasjes, he stood just so”—in his excitement Outa rose and struck an attitude—
“and when they streaked past him he jumped like this, striking at them with the hard,
sharp claws on his old two toes.” Outa hopped about like a fighting bantam, while the
children hugged themselves in silent delight.
“Voerts! there was one dead!”—Outa kicked to the right. “Voerts! there was
another!”—he kicked to the left—“till there was a klomp of bucks lying about the
veld giving their last blare. Yes, old Two Toes did his work well that day.
“When Leeuw came up and saw that Volstruis had killed more than he had, he was
not very pleased, but Volstruis soon made it all right.
“Leeuw said, ‘You have killed most, so you rip open and begin to eat.’
“‘Oh no!’ said Volstruis, ‘you have cubs to share the food with, so you rip open and
eat. I shall only drink the blood.’

“This put Leeuw in a good humour; he thought Volstruis a noble, unselfish creature.
But truly, as I said before, Volstruis was clever. Baasjes see, he couldn’t eat meat; he
had no teeth. But he didn’t want Leeuw to know. Therefore he said, ‘You eat; I will
only drink the blood.’
“So Leeuw ripped open—sk-r-r-r-r, sk-r-r-r-r—and called the cubs, and they all ate
till they were satisfied. Then Volstruis came along in a careless fashion, pecking,
pecking as he walked, and drank the blood. Then he and Leeuw lay down in the shade
of some trees and went to sleep.
“The cubs played about, rolling and tumbling over each other. As they played they
came to the place where Volstruis lay.
“‘Aha!’ said one, ‘he sleeps with his mouth open.’
“He peeped into Volstruis’s mouth. ‘Aha!’ he said again, ‘I see something.’
“Another cub came and peeped.
“‘Alle kracht!’ he said, ‘I see something too. Let us go and tell our father.’
“So they ran off in great excitement and woke Leeuw. ‘Come, come quickly,’ they
said. ‘Volstruis insults you by saying he is your equal. He lies sleeping under the trees
with his mouth wide open, and we have peeped into it, and behold, he has no teeth!
Come and see for yourself.’
“Leeuw bounded off quick-quick with the cubs at his tail.
“‘Nier-r-r-r,’ he growled, waking Volstruis, ‘nier-r-r-r. What is the meaning of this?
You pretend you are my equal, and you haven’t even got teeth.’
“‘Teeth or no teeth,’ said Volstruis, standing up wide awake, ‘I killed more bucks
than you did to-day. Teeth or no teeth, I’ll fight you to show who’s baas.’
“‘Come on,’ said Leeuw. ‘Who’s afraid? I’m just ready for you. Come on!’
“‘No, wait a little,’ said Volstruis. ‘I’ve got a plan. You see that ant-heap over there?
Well, you stand on one side of it, and I’ll stand on the other side, and we’ll see who
can push it over first. After that we’ll come out into the open and fight.’
“‘That seems an all-right plan,’ said Leeuw; and he thought to himself, ‘I’m heavier
and stronger; I can easily send the ant-heap flying on to old Three Sticks, and then
spring over and kill him.’
“But wait a bit! It was not as easy as he thought. Every time he sprang at the ant-heap
he clung to it as he was accustomed to cling to his prey. He had no other way of
doing things. And then Volstruis would take the opportunity of kicking high into the
air, sending the sand and stones into Leeuw’s face, and making him howl and splutter
with rage.
“Sometimes he would stand still and roar, and Volstruis would send a roar back from
the other side.
“So they went on till the top of the ant-heap was quite loosened by the kicks and
blows. Leeuw was getting angrier and angrier, and he could hardly see—his eyes
were so full of dust. He gathered himself together for a tremendous spring, but, before
he could make it, Volstruis bounded into the air and kicked the whole top off the antheap.
Arré, but the dust was thick!
“When it cleared away, there lay Leeuw, groaning and coughing, with the great heap
of earth and stones on top of him.
“‘Ohé! ohé!’ wailed the cubs, ‘get up, my father. Here he comes, the Toothless One!
He who has teeth only on his feet! Get up and slay him.’

“Leeuw shook himself free of the earth and sprang at Volstruis, but his eyes were full
of sand; he could not see properly, so he missed. As he came down heavily, Volstruis
shot out his strong right leg and caught Leeuw in the side. Sk-r-r-r-r! went the skin,
and goops! goops! over fell poor Oom Leeuw, with Volstruis’s terrible claws—the
teeth of old Two Toes—fastened into him.
“Volstruis danced on him, flapping and waving his beautiful black and white wings,
and tearing the life out of Oom Leeuw.
“When it was all over, he cleaned his claws in the sand and waltzed away slowly over
the veld to where his mate sat on the nest.
“Only the cubs were left wailing over the dead King of the Forest.”
The usual babel of question and comment broke out at the close of the story, till at
last Pietie’s decided young voice detached itself from the general chatter.
“Outa, what made you say that about pulling the blankets over one’s head and
running to get near Mammie if one heard Volstruis bellowing at night? You know
quite well that none of us would ever do it.”
“Yes, yes, my baasje, I know,” said Outa, soothingly. “I never meant anyone who
belongs to the land of Volstruise. But other little masters, who did not know the voice
of old Three Sticks—they would run to their mam-mas if they heard him.”
“Oh, I see,” said Pietie, accepting the apology graciously. “I was sure you could not
mean a karroo farm boy.”
“Is your story a parable, Outa?” asked little Jan, who had been doing some hard
thinking for the last minute.
“Ach! and what is that, my little master?”
“A kind of fable, Outa.”
“Yes, that’s what it is, baasje,” said Outa, gladly seizing on the word he understood,
“a fable, a sort of nice little fable.”
“But a parable is an earthly story with a heavenly meaning, and when Cousin Minnie
tells us parables she always finds the meaning for us. What is the heavenly meaning
of this, Outa?”
Little Jan’s innocent grey eyes were earnestly fixed on Outa’s face, as though to read
from it the explanation he sought. For once the old native was nonplussed. He rubbed
his red kopdoek, laid a crooked finger thoughtfully against his flat nose, scratched his
sides, monkey-fashion, and finally had recourse once more to the kopdoek. But all
these expedients failed to inspire him with the heavenly meaning of the story he had
just told. Ach! these dear little ones, to think of such strange things! There they all
were, waiting for his next words. He must get out of it somehow.
“Baasjes,” he began, smoothly, “there is a beautiful meaning to the story, but Outa
hasn’t got time to tell it now. Another time——”
“Outa,” broke in Willem, reprovingly, “you know you only want to get away so that
you can go to the old tramp-floor, where the volk are dancing to-night.”
“No, my baasje, truly no!”
“And I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that you had danced, too, after the way you have
been jumping about here.”
“Yes, that was fine,” said Pietie, with relish. “‘Voerts! there is one dead! Voerts!
there is another!’ Outa, you always say you are so stiff, but you can still kick well.”

“Aja, baasje,” returned Outa, modestly; “in my day I was a great dancer. No one
could do the Vastrap better—and the Hondekrap—and the Valsrivier. Arré, those
were the times!”
He gave a little hop at the remembrance of those mad and merry days, and yet another
and another, always towards the passage leading to the kitchen.
“But the meaning, Outa, the heavenly meaning!” cried little Jan. “You haven’t told
us.”
“No, my little baas, not to-night. Ask the Nonnie; she will tell you. Here she comes.”
And as Cousin Minnie entered the room, the wily old native, with an agility not to be
expected from his cramped and crooked limbs, skipped away, leaving her to bear the
brunt of his inability to explain his own story.
Sassaby (also spelt Sesseby) or Bastard Hartebeest are much smaller than the Hartebeest proper,
and are found in open veld near forest country.

To be continued......

Why Africa has gone to hell

About the Author
James Jackson is the bestselling author of historical thrillers including Blood Rock and Pilgrim. As a postgraduate he specialized in analysing future trends in international terrorism, was Called to the Bar, and worked for many years as a political-risk consultant. His non-fiction publications include The Counter-terrorist Handbook. He is based in London

There are no miracles in Africa - A self-destructing continent – “WHY AFRICA HAS GONE TO HELL” White Zimbabweans used to tell a joke—what is the difference between a tourist and a racist? The answer — about a week. Few seem to joke any more.

Indeed, the last time anyone laughed out there was over the memorable head-line “BANANA CHARGED WITH SODOMY” (relating to the Reverend Canaan Banana and his alleged proclivities). Zimbabwe was just the latest African state to squander its potential, to swap civil society for civil strife and pile high its corpses. Then the wrecking virus moves on and a fresh spasm of violence erupts elsewhere. Congo, Ivory Coast, Sudan, Rwanda, Sierra Leone, even Kenya.

Take your pick, for it is the essence of Africa, the recurring A-Z of horror. Therefore, as surely as Nelson Mandela took those steps from captivity to freedom, his own country will doubtless shuffle into chaos and ruin. Mark my words. One day it will be the turn of South Africa to revert to type, its farms that lie wasted and its towns that are battle zones, its dreams and expectations that lie rotting on the veld. That is the way of things.

Africa rarely surprises, it simply continues to appall. When interviewed on BBC Radio, the legendary South African jazz musician Hugh Masekela spoke of the 350-year struggle for freedom by blacks in South Africa. The man might play his trumpet like a dream, but he talks arrant nonsense. What he has bought into is a false narrative that rewrites history and plays upon post-colonial liberal angst. The construct is as follows: white, inglorious and bad; black, noble and good; empire, bad; independence, good; the west, bad; the African, good.

Forgotten in all this is that while Europeans were settling and spreading from the Cape, the psychopathic Shaka Zulu was employing his Impi to crush everyone - including the Xhosa - in his path, and the Xhosa were themselves busy slaughtering Bushmen and Hottentots. Yet it is the whites who take the rap, for it was they who won the skirmishes along the Fish and Blood Rivers and who eventually gained the prize. What suffers is the truth, and—of course— Africa.

We are so cowed by the moist-eyed mantras of the left and the oath-laden platitudes of Bono and Geldof; we are forced to accept collective responsibility for the bloody mess that is now Africa. It paralyses us while excusing the black continent and its rulers. Whenever I hear people agitate for the freezing of Third World debt, I want to shout aloud for the freezing of those myriad overseas bank accounts held by black African leaders (President Mobutu of Zaire alone is believed to have squirreled away well over $10 billion).

Whenever apartheid is held up as a blueprint for evil, I want to mention Bokassa snacking on human remains, Amin clogging a hydro-electric dam with floating corpses, the President of Equatorial Guinea crucifying victims along the roadway from his airport. Whenever slavery is dredged up, I want to remind everyone the Arabs were there before us, the native Ashanti and others were no slouches at the game, and it remains extant in places like the Ivory Coast. Whenever I hear the Aids pandemic somehow blamed on western indifference, I want to point to the African native practice of dry sex, the hobby-like prevalence of rape and the clumps of despotic black leaders who deny a link between the disease and HIV and who block the provision of anti-retroviral.

And whenever Africans bleat of imperialism and colonialism, I want to campaign for the demolition of every road, college, and hospital we ever built to let them start again. It is time they governed themselves. Yet few play the victim card quite as expertly as black Africans; few are quite as gullible as the white liberal-left. “On the eve of this millennium, Nelson Mandela and friends lit candles mapping the shape of their continent and declared the Twenty-first Century would belong to Africa. It’s a pity that for every Mandela, there are over a hundred Robert Mugabes.”

So Britain had an empire and Britain did slavery. Boo hoo. Deal with it. Move on. Slavery ended here over two hundred years ago. More recently, there were tens of millions of innocents enslaved or killed in Europe by the twin industrialized evils of Nazism and Stalinism. My own first cousins—twin brothers aged sixteen—died down a Soviet salt mine. I need no lecture on shackles and neck-irons. Most of us are descendants of both oppressors and oppressed; most of us get over it. Mind you, I am tempted by thoughts of compensation from Scandinavia for the wickedness of its Viking raids and its slaving-hub on the Life. As for the 1066 invasion of England by William the Bastard… The white man’s burden is guilt over Africa (the black man’s is sentimentality), and we are blind for it. We have tipped hundreds of billions of aid-dollars into Africa without first ensuring proper governance. We encourage NGOs and food-parcels and have built a culture of dependency. We shy away from making criticism, tiptoe around the crassness of the African Union and flinch at every anti-western jibe. The result is a free-for-all for every syphilitic black despot and his coterie of family functionaries. Africa casts a long and toxic shadow across our consciousness. It is patronised and allowed to underperform, so too its distant black diaspora. A black London pupil is excluded from his school, not because he is lazy, stupid or disruptive, but because that school is apparently racist; a black youth is pulled over by the police, not because black males commit over eighty percent of street crime, but because the authorities are somehow corrupted by prejudice. Thus the tale continues. Excuse is everywhere and a sense of responsibility nowhere.

You will rarely find either a black national leader in Africa or a black community leader in the west prepared to put up his hands and say it is our problem, our fault. Those who look to Africa for their roots, role-models and inspiration are worshipping false gods. And like all false gods, the feet are of clay, the snouts long and designed for the trough, and the torture-cells generally well-equipped. I once met the son of a Liberian government minister and asked if he had seen video-footage of his former president Samuel Doe being tortured to death. ‘Of course’, he replied with a smile. ‘Everyone has’. They cut off the ears of Doe and force-fed them to him. His successor, the warlord Charles Taylor, was elected in a landslide result using the campaign slogan “He killed my ma, he killed my pa, but I will vote for him”. Nice people. Liberia was founded and colonised by black Americans to demonstrate what slave stock could achieve. They certainly showed us.

Forgive my heretical belief that had a black instead of a white tribe earlier come to dominate South Africa, its opponents would not have been banished to Robben island. They would have been butchered and buried there. When asked about the problem of Africa, Harold Macmillan suggested building a high wall around the continent and every century or so removing a brick to check on progress. I suspect that over entire millennia, the view would prove bleak and unvarying. Visiting a state in West Africa a few years ago, I wandered onto a beach and marvelled at the golden sands and at the sunlight catching on the Atlantic surf. It allowed me to forget for a moment the local news that day of soldiers seizing a schoolboy and pitching him head-first into an operating cement-machine. Almost forget. Then I spotted a group of villagers beating a stray dog to death for their sport.

A metaphor of sorts for all that is wrong, another link in a word-association chain that goes something like Famine… Drought… Overpopulation… Deforestation… Conflict… Barbarism… Cruelty… Machetes… Child Soldiers… Massacres… Diamonds… Warlords…Tyranny… Corruption… Despair… Disease… Aids… Africa .

Africa remains the heart of darkness. Africa is hell.
 

Andy Nix Photography

Seeing that photography is my passion I thought it about time to feature a South African photographer in my newsletter. I have been a fan of Andy for some time now and would like to share the link to her blog. She is a great photographer and is fortunate enough to live in the Fairest Cape where great landscapes just beg to be photographed.

Click here to view her blog and while you are there subscribe to her newsletter as well.

Come join me on Facebook, at www.facebook.com/Peterjasie . I update my status daily.


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Freebie!!

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Words to live by 

FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE

1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the a$$hole’s name.
3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.
5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.

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Find your way around South Africa

With this really informative map, just click here:  http://www.sa.c2a.co.za/#

 Source: SouthAfrica.info The all-in-one official guide and web portal to South Africa.  
 
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Smile a While

A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a Taxi in New York City and laid down on the back seat.
The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab.
The woman glared back at him and said, "What's wrong with you, honey? - Haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?"
The old Jewish driver answered, "Let me tell you sumsing lady – I vasn't staring at you like you tink; det vould not be proper vair I come from."
The drunk woman giggled and responded, "Well, if you're not staring at my boobs or ass sweetie, what are you doing then?"
He paused a moment, then told her..."Vell, M'am, I am looking and I am looking, and I am tinking to myself, 'Vair in da hell is dis lady keeping de money to pay for dis ride?

A guy asked a girl in a university library: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?”
The girl replied with a loud voice: "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"
All the students in the library started staring at the guy; he was truly embarrassed.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said: "I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?”
The guy then responded with a loud voice: “$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? THAT'S TOO MUCH!”
All the people in the library looked ! at the girl in shock.
The guy whispered in her ears: "I study law, and I know how to make someone feel guilty.”

An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the yard and asked him, "Grandpa, what is a couple sex? The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she's old enough to know to ask the question then she's old enough to get a straight answer. Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to tell her all about human reproduction and the joys and responsibilities that go along with it. When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open, eyes wide in amazement.  Seeing the look on her face, the grandfather asked her, "Why did you ask this question, honey? The little girl replied, "Well, Grandma says to tell you that dinner will be ready in just a couple secs.

Beer Snobs
After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.
The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.
The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.
The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.
The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.
The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."

Recently, while I was working on the flower beds in my front garden, my neighbours stopped to chat as they returned home from walking their dog.
During our friendly conversation, I asked their little girl what she wanted to be when she grew up.
She said she wanted to be President some day.
Both of her parents, staunch members of the ANC, were standing there, and I asked her, "If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?"
She replied... "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people."
Her parents beamed with pride!
"Wow...what a worthy goal!" I said. "But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that!" I told her.
"What do you mean?" she replied.
So I told her, "You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and trim my hedge, and I'll pay you R50. Then you can go over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the R50 to use toward food and a new house."
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the R50?"
I said, "Welcome to the DA Party"
Her parents aren't speaking to me.

There is a medical distinction. We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:
GUTS .........Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask, "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS .........Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say, "You're next, fatty."
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.
Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcomes, since both result in sudden death.

For all  my grammatically correct friends.

On his 70th birthday a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby
reservation who was rumored to have a real and wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.
After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his certificate to the medicine man and wondered what he was in for.
The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, "This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful and then say '1-2-3.'
"When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want."
The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"
"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,'" he responded, but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved,took a spoonful of the medicine and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.
When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, hewas the manliest of men.
His wife was excited and began pulling off her clothes and then she asked,"What was the 1-2-3 for?" 
And that, dear friends, is why we should never end our sentences with apreposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle .

 

The Wild Side - A selection of my photos


Photo taken in Kruger National Park. These little baboons are always so naughty, I call this photo

The Schemer

 


 

Zimbabwe update

For the latest on happenings in Zimbabwe, go to:  http://www.sokwanele.com/thisiszimbabwe/  and subscribe to their newsletter, a really good source of current information

Cathy Buckle is writing from Zimbabwe, her letter is below.

Dear Family and Friends,
There’s a constant tapping on the windows at night, now that the first rains have fallen in Zimbabwe. The reappearance of millions of insects after an absence of four months is an attack on the senses.
From the persistent whining of mosquitoes that turn sideways and disappear when you look for them, to the silent ascension from the depths of the earth of a million flying ants, the insects are back. A vast array of airborne beetles, ranging from small shiny brown creatures to large glossy black monsters with fearsome body armour, horns and spiked legs, spend their nights pinging against lights and tapping on windows. The natural aerial assault has added to the man made surprises and uncertainty that has overtaken Zimbabwe this week.

It started with a visit from South Africa’s ex ANC youth leader Julius Malema who had apparently come to Zimbabwe to ‘meet progressive forces’ and also to attend the wedding of a Zanu PF youth leader. Met at the airport by Zimbabwe’s minister of youth and indigenisation, Malema was said to have been ‘whisked away,’ first through the airport’s VIP section and then in a convoy of fast moving vehicles. Later, when Daily News reporters tried to interview Malema, his body guards whom the paper described as ‘heavily built goons,’ manhandled the press photographer, forced him to delete photographs of Malema and then confiscated the camera’s memory card.
Speaking at the wedding he’d come to attend, Malema had obviously been taking lessons from us. He said that white South Africans must give back land and minerals. Malema said that they would not pay for the land in South Africa when it was surrendered and the only thing they were scared of was defeat. ‘Seeing blood is not what we are scared of as long as that blood delivers what belongs to us we are prepared to go to that extent.’ It wasn’t clear who the ‘we’
was that Julius Malema referred to but they were frighteningly familiar sentiments in a country that has witnessed at first hand just how easily radical rhetoric becomes terrifying reality.

The next frighteningly familiar thing came in the form of newspaper photographs and TV video footage of houses being knocked down by bulldozers in Epworth outside Harare. Disturbing images were shown of men, women and children standing amidst the rubble and ruins of their homes with all their worldly goods jumbled in heaps around them:
furniture, bedding, clothing, kitchen equipment and food. Hundreds of families were affected by the demolitions and said they’d been allocated stands on the land a year ago by a couple of men they called Zanu PF party leaders. Asked to comment on the allocation of stands on privately owned land, Zanu PF’s Harare province chairman, Amos Midzi, said: “we have no policy whatsoever to take over private property anywhere in Harare.' It was the most ironic statement after twelve years of private property seizures.

Then came the warning made by Zanu PF spokesman Rugare Gumbo who was being interviewed by a South African TV channel. Gumbo said that if Zanu PF lost the next election it would be ‘messy.’ Gumbo said that events such as had taken place in Libya and were still taking place in Syria, could happen in Zimbabwe. ‘There will be deaths.
People could be killed and maimed,’ he said. It wasn’t clear if Mr Gumbo was representing his own position or that of Zanu PF but it all adds to the fear factor that increases as we draw ever closer to a constitutional referendum and election.
Until next time, thanks for reading,
love
cathy
20th October 2012.

For information on my new book “IMIRE”, about Norman Travers and Imire Game Park, or my other books about Zimbabwe: “Innocent Victims,” African Tears,” “Beyond Tears;” and “History of the Mukuvisi Woodlands 1910-2010”, or to subscribe/unsubscribe to this letter, please visit my website or contact cbuckle@zol.co.zw

Handy Home Hints

HERBS FOR FLAVOUR AND AROMA 
     
Herbs have been cultivated for thousands of years, mainly for their culinary and medicinal properties, although many make attractive displays in their own right.
 
Herbs are so adaptable, that you can grow them in many ways, although most enjoy full sun.  You can grow them in a herb garden, plant them to make a border among your flower beds, or in containers.  You do not need especially rich soil or compost, as long as it is reasonable fertile and free-draining.  Ideally site your herb garden near the kitchen door where the leaves can be picked easily.
 
Remember to place taller herbs such as angelica, dill and fennel at the back of the herb garden.  Plant smaller ones, chives, marjoram, parsley, English lavender and thyme near the front.
 
Make sure you can get to all your herbs for easy picking.  It doesn't help planting beautiful herbs so close together that you can't get to them.  Plant in a checkerboard pattern, or put stepping stones between the different herbs for easy access.
 
A hedge of lavender will provide protection for herbs in winter.  Tall herbs will need staking against wind.  Some herbs, whose roots put out runners, such as mint and lemon balm, will take over in the garden if they are not constrained.  Planting them in terracotta pots, troughs or other suitable containers is an ideal way to curb their exuberance.  Mint grows well in an old fireclay sink, as it's roots do not require soil that is more that 15 cm deep.
 
MINT

A perennial that loses most of it's leaves in winter.  The many varieties all grow well in cool, shaded soil, or moist soil in the sun.  Use the leaves to season salads, hors d'oeuvres, certain sauces, lamb, strawberries and fruit salad.  The spicy flavoured Mentha x piperita citrata goes well with oriental dishes.
 
CHIVES

A perennial herb with rose-pink flower heads.  Grow in a good, rich soil and in sun or partial shade, where it will provide many leaves from spring to late Au\\autumn.  The chopped leaf gives a subtle onion flavour when added to omelettes, soups, cheese and potato dishes and salads.
 
LEMON BALM

A perennial that loses it's leaves in winter.  Balm thrives in well-drained soil in partial shade.  Plants need to be regularly cut back as they are quite invasive.  Harvest the leaves and young shoots in summer.  The lemon flavour adds zest to soups and marinades, but use sparingly.  Lemon balm can also be used as a substitute for lemon peel in cakes and fruit dishes and to make a refreshing cold drink.
 
TARRAGON

A hardy perennial that requires light soil and prefers full sun.  Harvest fresh leaves from midsummer to autumn.  Chop the leaf into salads or use it to flavour chicken and other white meats.  Tarragon's bitter-sweet taste makes it good for vinegar.
 
PARSLEY

A biennial that likes cool, partially shaded soil or rich soil in the sun.  Sow it each year during spring.  Pick the leaves when they are young.  Raw and finely chopped, they add a distinctive mildly spicy flavour to salads hors d'oeuvres, grilled meats, stuffings and butter.  Also used in fines herbes and bouquet garnis.  For cooked dishes, add parsley at the last minute so that it keeps it's flavour.
 
LAVENDER

True lavender is a sweetly aromatic, drought-resistant sub-shrub with spikes of fragrant flowers.  It prefers cool winters and a well drained sunny position.  The dried flowers are traditional in Provencal cooking (e.g. in herbes de Prevence) and are widely used in both savoury and sweet dishes.
 
CHILLIES

An annual which grows year-round in tropical and sub-tropical areas.  Plant in spring in cool districts.  Water regularly.  Raw or cooked peppers can be used to season Mediterranean, South American, Caribbean and oriental dishes.
 
DILL

A hardy annual plant resembling fennel.  Sow the seeds in spring in a sunny spot.  Pick the foliage as you need it.  Harvest the seeds in summer and use when the supply of fresh leaves has ceased.  Use the leaves to add an aniseed-like flavour to potatoes, beans, soups, poultry and fish.  The dried seeds have a stronger flavour than the leaves - use them in pickling vinegar and in sauces.
 
ROSEMARY

A reasonably hardy evergreen shrub which thrives in a sunny spot.  In cold areas, plant in a sheltered position.  Pick the leafy shoots throughout the year.  Use the leaves, dry or fresh, to flavour savoury dishes - especially those containing lamb.
 
MARJORAM

A perennial usually grown as an annual that thrives in rich soil and in full sun.  The foliage is warmly aromatic and sweeter than oregano.  Use the chopped leaves in stuffings, stews, soups, cheese dishes and salads, and to flavour meat, poultry and game before roasting.
 
OREGANO

A hardy perennial that revels in a sunny well-drained position.  Oregano is particularly popular in pasta dishes and pizza toppings and in Arabic herb mixture za'tar - use fresh or dried.
 
BASIL

An annual grown year-round in a tropical or subtropical climate, but elsewhere from spring to autumn.  Best in full sun.  Water regularly.  In cold dishes, add basil when serving.  It's clove-like flavour adds spice to omelettes, salads and tomato and fish dishes.
 
FENNEL

Hardy perennial that does best in a warm, sunny position.  Pinch out flowers unless you want seeds.  Use the leaves for their subtle anise flavour in salads, sauces and with fish.  Seeds have a much stronger flavour and can be used in soups and pastry.
 
BAY LEAF

An evergreen tree that needs shelter from hot or cold winds when young.  Very slow growing.  Well suited to being grown in a tub and trained as a standard.  Use leaves in pates, marinades, with grilled fish and meats, and in soups and stews.
 
THYME

A hardy dwarf shrub that comes in a variety of shapes and scents.  It needs sun and warmth to be at it's best.  Harvest the fine-leaved shoots throughout the year to season bouillons, stews and grilled dishes.  Thyme also forms an important component of the ever-useful mixed herb container.
 
GARLIC

A bulbous perennial herb, although usually replanted annually.  Plant out bulbs from autumn to spring.  Pinch off flower heads as soon as possible to divert nourishment to the bulbs.  Harvest them in summer and tie them into decorative strings to hang in a cool, dry place.  Whether cooked or raw, garlic is used in many dishes, especially Mediterranean and oriental recipes.
 
CORIANDER

A tender annual.  Sow it in early summer, in full sun.  Pick the leaves when young.  Harvest seeds when ripe.  Fresh leaves lend flavour to Middle Eastern dishes and Cantonese rice.  Use the seeds to season marinades and roast meats, and to flavour chutneys.  In South Africa, it also goes by the name of dhania. 
 
DRYING HERBS
    
Dry herbs by hanging them in bunches or placing them on drying trays.  Herbs that dry well include bay, lovage, marjoram, rosemary, sage and thyme.  To make a drying tray, stretch muslin or fine netting over a wooden frame, and secure with galvanized nails.  Place the tray in a well-ventilated, warm place and lay the herbs on the muslin.  When brittle, they are ready to store. 
 
FREEZING HERBS

Freezing preserves the flavours and colours of herbs, making it especially useful for those, such as coriander, chervil, dill and parsley, that do not dry well.  Either freeze whole leaves in plastic bags, in the quantities that you will need for recipes, or chop them finely and freeze them in a little water, in an ice-cube tray.

 
This South Africa - news headlines


Go to SouthAfrica.info Source: SouthAfrica.info
The all-in-one official guide
and web portal to South Africa.  
 
Recipe Requests

Looking for a specific South African recipe? Email me and I will do my best to find it for you! 
 
The Recipes

Barbequed Chicken

4 (100g) skinless, boneless chicken breast fillets
salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
1 Tbsp olive oil
2 cloves garlic, peeled and minced
1 (2cm) piece fresh ginger root, minced
2 mangoes, peeled and diced
2 Tbsp cider vinegar
1 tsp white wine
4 Tbsp chopped fresh coriander 
 
 
1. Preheat barbecue on high heat, and lightly oil cooking grate.
 
2. Rub chicken breast fillets with salt and pepper. Cook on hot barbecue for 10 to 15 minutes on each side, until no longer pink and juices run clear.
 
3. Remove from heat, set aside, and keep warm.
 
4. Heat oil in a frying pan over medium heat, and sauté garlic for about 1 minute. Add ginger and mangoes and cook 3 to 4 minutes until mangoes are tender.
 
5. Add the cider vinegar and white wine.
 
6. Season with salt and pepper.
 
7. Stir in coriander, and remove from heat. Spoon frying pan mixture over the barbecued chicken to serve.

Rosemary and Basil Turkey

3/4 cup olive oil
1 head garlic, peeled and crushed
good handful chopped fresh rosemary
handful chopped fresh basil
1 Tbsp Italian herb seasoning
salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
1 whole turkey
1 Tbsp of plain flour 
mushroom and herb stuffing if desired
 
 
1. Combine the olive oil, garlic, rosemary, basil, Italian herb seasoning, black pepper and salt. Set aside.
 
2. Wash the turkey, inside and out and pat dry. Remove any excess fat deposits. Loosen the skin from the breast. This is done by slowly working your fingers between the breast and the skin. Work it loose to the end of the drumstick being careful not to tear the skin.
 
3. Using your hand, spread a generous amount of the rosemary mixture under the breast skin and down the thigh and leg. Rub the remainder of the rosemary mixture over the outside of the breast. Use cocktail sticks to seal skin over any exposed breast meat. Insert stuffing if desired.
 
4. Place the turkey on a rack in a roasting tin. Add just enough water to cover the bottom of the pan. Roast according to the weight of your turkey. Roast in a preheated 180° C oven. When finished, a meat thermometer inserted in the thigh should read 82° C and the juices should run clear when pierced with a fork.
 
Note:-  The stuffing below goes very nicely with this turkey.  Stuff both the inside cavity and the neck cavity before cooking.  The stuffing can also be cooked separately and served as a side dish.


Mushroom & herb Stuffing
500g fresh mushrooms, sliced
100g butter
1 onion, diced
2 stalks celery, chopped
1 tsp mixed herbs
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp freshly ground black pepper
1.25kg dried breadcrumbs
350ml hot chicken stock
2 eggs, beaten
4 apples - cored, peeled and diced
½ cup chopped fresh parsley  
 
 
1. If you are cooking the stuffing, butter a 23x33cm baking dish and preheat oven to 190°C
 
2. Rinse, pat dry and quarter mushrooms. In large frying pan, heat the butter and add mushrooms, onion and celery; sauté 5 minutes and remove from heat. Stir in the mixed herbs, salt and pepper.
 
3. In large mixing bowl, combine breadcrumbs with stock and eggs, then add mushroom mixture, apples and parsley -  mix well. You can use the mixture to stuff the bird at this point or transfer the mixture to the baking dish.
 
4. Cover and bake for about 45 minutes. Remove cover and bake 15 minutes longer to brown the top.

Stuffed Crown Roast of Pork

60g butter
1 small onion, chopped
1 stalk celery, chopped
1 Granny Smith apple - peeled, cored and chopped
60g (1 cup) fresh breadcrumbs
500g minced pork
250g pork sausage, casings removed and minced
handful chopped fresh parsley
½ tsp dried sage
1½ tsp salt
1½ tsp freshly ground black pepper
1 pork crown roast - about 4kg 
 
1. Preheat oven to 180°C
 
2. To make stuffing: Melt butter in a large frying pan over medium heat. When foam subsides, add onion and fry, stirring frequently, for about 5 minutes.
 
3. Stir in celery and apples; cook (without browning) about 5 minutes longer. Scrape frying pan contents into a large mixing bowl. Add breadcrumbs, minced pork, sausage meat, parsley, sage, salt and pepper. Mix together gently but thoroughly.
 
4. Fill the centre of the crown with the stuffing, mounding it slightly. Cover it with a round of aluminium foil and wrap the ends of the chop bones in strips of foil to prevent them from charring and snapping off.
 
5. Place the crown on a rack in a shallow roasting pan just large enough to hold it comfortably, and roast in the centre of the oven, undisturbed, for about 3 hours or until internal temperature of meat is 80° C. (Note: 30 minutes before pork is done, remove the foil from the top of the stuffing to allow the top to brown.)
 
6. Carefully transfer the crown to a large, heated circular platter. Let the crown rest for about 10 minutes, remove all foil, and then carve.
 
To carve a crown roast:
Insert a large fork in the side of the crown to steady it and with a large, sharp knife, cut down through each rib to detach the chops. Two chops per person is a customary portion accompanied by a generous serving of the stuffing

Roast Pork Stuffed with Prunes

2 pork fillets (about 175 g each)
1 large orange
50g sliced prunes
3 cm ginger, grated finely
6 lean bacon rashers
400 g new potatoes, scrubbed and cut into 5 mm thick slices
2 leeks, trimmed and thickly sliced
2 carrots, peeled and thickly sliced
2 red apples
2 cups (500 ml) dry alcoholic cider
2 Tbsp chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
 

1. Preheat the oven to 200°C. Put the pork fillets on a chopping board and cut each in half lengthways, without cutting all the way through. Open the fillets like a book and press down to flatten slightly.
 
2. Finely grate the zest from the orange and set aside. Using a small, serrated knife, cut away all the white pith from the orange, then slice down between the membranes to remove the orange segments. Arrange the orange segments over the cut surface of one fillet. Top with the sliced prunes and ginger, sprinkle with the orange zest, then season to taste.
 
3. Place the second fillet, cut-side down, on top and gently press the fillets together. Wrap the bacon rashers around the pork and secure in place with kitchen string. Set aside.
 
4. Spread the potatoes over the base of a large roasting tin, then scatter over the leeks and carrots. Core and thickly slice the apples, then add to the tin. Place the pork-fillet package on top and pour in the cider. Roast for 1 hour or until the potatoes and carrots are tender and clear juices come out of the pork when it is pierced with the tip of a knife. Lift out the pork and vegetables, cover with foil and leave to rest and keep warm for 10 minutes.
 
5. Meanwhile, put the roasting tin on the stove and boil the cooking liquid over a high heat until it is reduced to about 2/3 cup (170 ml). Add the parsley and season to taste. Slice the pork and serve with the vegetables and the cooking juices spooned over the top.

Glazed Apricot Ham

8-9kg cooked leg of ham
2 heaped Tbsp (40g) of brown sugar
10-12 whole cloves
250g apricot jam
3 Tbsp Grand Marnier or Cointreau
 
1. Preheat oven to 180° C.
 
2. Remove skin from ham by cutting through the skin at the knuckle end of the ham, and loosening the skin at the broad end of the ham and pulling it gently away with fingertips. There will still be some fat left on the surface. Score the surface in diamonds or your own fancy pattern.
 
3. Rub ham well with brown sugar and stud with cloves in each diamond, or however it works with the pattern you've made. Cook in a large baking tray for 30 Minutes.
 
4. While it is cooking, melt the apricot jam and the Grand Marnier together over a low heat in a small pot. Remove ham from the oven after 30 Minutes and brush with this glaze.
 
5. Replace in tray and continue to cook for another 1½ hours

Spiced Leg Ham with Mango, Avocado and Chilli Salsa

1 large ripe mango, peeled, cut into 2cm pieces
1 large avocado, halved, stone removed, peeled, cut into 2cm pieces
1 fresh red birdseye chilli, halved lengthways, deseeded, finely chopped
1/2 cup fresh coriander leaves
2 Tbsp finely chopped red onion
2 Tbsp fresh lime juice
1 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil
salt & freshly ground black pepper
5kg (about 1/2) leg of ham, thinly sliced
 
 
1. Place the mango, avocado, chilli, coriander, onion, lime juice and oil in a medium glass or ceramic bowl.  Gently toss until well combined.  Taste and season with salt and pepper.  Transfer to a serving bowl or glass.
 
2. Arrange the ham on a serving platter and serve immediately with the salsa.
 
Notes- You can make this recipe to the end of step 1 up to 1 hour ahead. Cover with plastic wrap and store in the fridge. Continue from step 2 just before serving the main. The mango, avocado & chilli salsa is also great with cold roast

Broccoli with Lemon Almond Butter

1 head fresh broccoli, cut into florets
60g butter, melted
2 Tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp finely grated lemon rind
30g slivered or flaked almonds  
 
1. Steam or boil broccoli until tender, approximately 4 to 8 minutes.  Drain.
 
2. In a small saucepan, melt butter over medium-low heat. Remove from heat. Stir in lemon juice, rind and almonds. Toss with hot broccoli, and serve.

Spicy Seven Layer Salad

280g small shell pasta
4 carrots, peeled and cut into fine match sticks
1/2 head lettuce, rinsed, dried and chopped
1 medium cucumber, peeled and diced
150g fresh or frozen peas
90g corn kernels, fresh or tinned
2 cups mayonnaise
1 Tbsp brown sugar
1 Tbsp curry powder
1 clove garlic, crushed
125g grated cheddar cheese
 
1. Cook pasta according to packet instructions. Drain and rinse under cold water. Cool.
 
2. Place the carrots in an even layer in the bottom of a large glass bowl, preferably one that is roughly the same diameter from top to bottom. Cover carrots with a layer of lettuce. Combine the cucumber, peas and sweetcorn and spread in a layer over the lettuce. Cover with cold pasta.
 
3. In a small bowl stir together the mayonnaise, brown sugar, curry powder and garlic. Spread this carefully over the pasta. Top with grated cheese and then cover and refrigerate for at least 1 hour before serving.

Summer Berry Trifle

1 x 85g pkt quick-set strawberry & raspberry jelly crystals
14 bought jam rollettes, cut into 1cm-thick slices
80ml (1/3 cup) apple juice or sweet sherry
2 x 250g punnets strawberries, washed, hulled, halved
2 x 150g punnets blueberries
500ml (2 cups) vanilla custard
250ml (1 cup) thickened cream, whipped
 
 
1. Prepare the jelly following packet directions. Pour into a large container and place in the fridge for 1 hour or until set. Coarsely chop.
 
2. Place half the rollettes in the base of a 3L (12-cup) capacity serving bowl. Drizzle half the apple juice or sherry over the rollettes. Top with half the jelly and one-third of the combined strawberries and blueberries. Spoon over half the custard. Repeat with the remaining rollettes, apple juice or sherry, jelly and half the remaining strawberries and blueberries. Top with the remaining custard.
 
3. Spoon the cream over the trifle and top with the remaining strawberries and blueberries. Place in the fridge until required

Chocolate Log

melted butter, to grease
30g dark cooking chocolate, coarsely chopped
4 eggs
155g (3/4 cup) caster sugar
2 Tbsp warm water
1/4 tsp bicarbonate of soda
40g (1/2 cup) self-raising flour
1 Tbsp plain flour
40g (1/3 cup) hazelnut meal
5 tsp caster sugar, extra
1 x 250g carton mascarpone
125ml (1/2 cup) thickened cream
2 Tbsp Frangelico liqueur
1 vanilla bean, split lengthways, seeds removed
White chocolate leaves, to decorate (see notes)
 
 
1. Preheat oven to 180°C. Brush a 25 x 30cm (base measurement) Swiss roll pan with melted butter to grease. Line the base and 2 short sides with non-stick baking paper to reach about 7cm above the edge of the 2 short sides.
 
2. Place the chocolate in a heatproof bowl over a saucepan half-filled with simmering water (make sure the bowl doesn't touch the water). Stir occasionally with a metal spoon until the chocolate melts and is smooth.
 
3. Use an electric beater to beat the eggs and sugar in a medium bowl for 10 minutes or until pale and creamy.
 
4. Stir the water and bicarbonate of soda into melted chocolate. Sift the combined flour over the egg mixture. Fold in the hazelnut meal and chocolate mixture with a metal spoon until well combined. Pour into the lined pan. Bake for 12 minutes or until firm and a skewer inserted into the centre comes out clean.
 
5. Meanwhile, place a 50 x 30cm sheet of non-stick baking paper on a flat surface. Sprinkle with 4 teaspoons of extra sugar. Use the overhanging paper to carefully turn the cake onto the sugar on the paper. Remove the top sheet of paper from the cake. Trim the crisp edges of the cake. Starting with the long side closest to you, and using the paper as a guide, roll up the cake. Wrap in baking paper. Place, seam-side down, on a tray and set aside for 1 hour to cool completely.
 
6. Beat the mascarpone, cream, Frangelico and vanilla seeds until firm peaks form. Carefully unroll the cake. Spread with mascarpone mixture. Roll up. Sprinkle with remaining sugar. Cover with baking paper. Place in an airtight container in fridge for 1 hour to chill. Top with white chocolate leaves to serve.
 
Notes:- How to make chocolate leaves: Use a small paintbrush to brush melted white choc melts over the undersides of washed, dried organic rose leaves. Place, chocolate-side up, on a tray lined with non-stick baking paper in fridge until set. Repeat to add a second chocolate layer. Once set, test one by peeling off the leaf - if the chocolate breaks, add a third layer of chocolate to all the leaves. Carefully peel off leaves and discard. Dust lightly with cocoa powder, then brush off excess. Store in an airtight container in the fridge. Use to decorate Buche de Noel. Time plan tip: Make this recipe up to 1 day ahead. Store in the fridge. Allow one hour cooling and one hour chilling time.


Honey Glazed Chicken Breasts

6 chicken breast fillets
50g softened butter
3 Tbsp honey
3 Tbsp barbeque sauce
2 tsp wholegrain mustard
 
1. Using a sharp knife, make 3 or 4 diagonal slashes across one side of each chicken breast
2. Mix together the butter, honey, barbeque sauce and mustard and spread half the marinade over the slashed sides of the breast, then cover
3. Set the remaining marinade aside
4. Leave the chicken at room temperature for 20 minutes
5. Place the chicken breasts on a hot, lightly oiled barbeque flatplate or grill and cook for 2-3 minutes on each side until tender
6. Brush with the reserved marinade several times during cooking

Pork Sausage Burgers with Mustard Cream

1kg pork mince
1 small onion, finely chopped
1 cup fresh breadcrumbs
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 egg, lightly beaten
1 tsp dried sage
6 bread rolls
MUSTARD CREAM
125g sour cream
1 Tbsp wholegrain mustard
2 tsp lemon juice
 
1. Mix together the mince, onion, breadcrumbs, garlic, egg and sage with your hands - divide into 6 portions and shape into sausages
2. Cook the sausages on a hot, lightly oiled flatplate or grill for 5 - 10 minutes, turning occasionally
3. To make the mustard cream, put the sour cream, mustard and juice in a small bowl and stir together
4. Sandwich the sausage burgers in a bread roll and serve with the mustard cream

Fillet of Beef with Mustard Coating

2 kg Scotch fillet of beef
3 Tbsp brandy
4 Tbsp wholegrain mustard
3 Tbsp cream
3/4 tsp coarsely ground black pepper
 
1. Prepare a covered braai for indirect cooking at a moderate heat
2. Trim the meat of excess fat and sinew and tie securely with string at regular intervals to retain it's shape
3. Brush all over with the brandy and leave for 1 hour
4. Mix together the mustard, cream and pepper and spread evenly over the fillet
5. Place the meat on a large greased sheet of foil
6. Pinch the corners securely to form a tray to hold in the juices
7. Cover the braai and cook for 30 - 40 minutes for medium-rare meat
8. Leave for 10 - 15 minutes before carving into thick slices
9. If you like, stir in a tablespoon of mustard into the pan juices to make a gravy

Lamb Chops with Citrus Pockets

4 lamb chump chops, about 250g each
2 Tbsp lemon juice
CITRUS FILLING
3 spring onions, finely chopped
1 celery stick, finely chopped
2 tsp grated fresh ginger
3/4 cup fresh breadcrumbs
2 Tbsp orange juice
2 tsp finely grated orange rind
1 tsp chopped, fresh rosemary
 
1. Cut a deep, long pocket in the side of each lamb chop
2. Mix together all the filling ingredients and spoon into the pockets of the lamb chops
3. Cook on a hot, lightly oiled braai grill or flatplate, turning once, for 15 minutes, or until lamb is cooked through, but still pink in the centre
4. Drizzle with the lemon juice

Marinated Grilled Vegetables

3 small, slender eggplants
2 small red peppers
3 small marrows
6 mushrooms
MARINADE
3 Tbsp olive oil
3 Tbsp lemon juice
3 Tbsp shredded basil leaves
1 clove garlic, crushed
 
1. Cut the eggplant into diagonal slices and place, in a single layer on a tray
2. Sprinkle with salt and leave for 15 minutes
3. Rinse thoroughly and pat dry with paper towels
4. Trim the pepper, remove the seeds and membrane and cut into long, wide pieces
5. Cut the marrow into diagonal slices and trim each mushroom stalk so that it is level with the cap
6. Place all the vegetables in a large, shallow non-metallic dish
7. To make the marinade, put the juice, oil, basil and garlic in a small, screw-top jar and shake vigorously to combine
8. Pour over the vegetables and toss well - store covered with plastic wrap, in the fridge, for 1 hour, stirring occasionally
9. Cook the vegetables on a hot, lightly oiled braai grill or flatplate over the hottest part of the fire for 2 minutes on each side, brushing frequently with any remaining marinade

Drumsticks in Tomato and Mango Chutney

8 chicken drumsticks, scored
1 Tbsp mustard powder
2 Tbsp tomato sauce
1 Tbsp sweet mango chutney
1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1 Tbsp Dijon mustard
30g raisins
1 Tbsp oil
 
1. Toss the chicken in the mustard powder and season
2. Combine the tomato sauce, chutney, Worcestershire sauce, mustard, raising and oil and spoon over the chicken and toss well
3. Marinade for at least 2 hours, turning once
4. Cook the chicken on a hot, lightly oiled braai flatplate for about 20 minutes or until cooked through

Sweet and Sour Pork Kebabs

1 kg pork fillets, cubed
1 large, red pepper, cubed
1 large green pepper, cubed
425g can pineapple pieces, drained, juice reserved
250ml orange juice
3 Tbsp white vinegar
2 Tbsp soft, brown sugar
2 tsp chilli garlic sauce
2 tsp cornflour
 
1. Soak wooden skewers in water for 30 minutes to prevent scorching
2. Thread pieces of meat alternately with pieces of red and green pepper and pineapple onto the skewers
3.  Mix the pineapple juice with the orange juice, vinegar, sugar and sauce
4. Place the kebabs in a shallow non-metallic dish and pour half the marinade over them
5. Cover and refrigerate for at least three hours, turning occasionally
6. Put the remaining marinade in a small pan
7. Mix the cornflour with a Tbsp of the marinade until smooth, then add to the pan
8. Stir over medium heat until thickened - transfer to a bowl and cover with plastic wrap - leave to cool
9. Cook the kebabs on a hot, lightly oiled braai flatplate or grill for 15 minutes, turning occasionally, until tender
10. Serve with the sauce

Steak in Red Wine

750g rump steak
250ml good red wine
2 tsp garlic salt
1 Tbsp dried oregano leaves
cracked black pepper
 
1. Trim the steak of excess fat
2. Mix together the wine, salt, oregano and pepper
3. Put the steak in a shallow non-metallic dish and add the marinade - toss well - cover and refrigerate for at least 3 hours
4. Cook the steak on a hot, lightly oiled braai flatplate or grill for 3-4 minutes on each side, brushing frequently with the marinade

Lamb Chops with Pineapple Salsa

12 lamb loin chops
2 Tbsp oil
1 tsp cracked black pepper
PINEAPPLE SALSA
1/2 ripe pineapple (or 400g drained canned pineapple)
1 large red onion, finely chopped
1 fresh red chilli, seeded and diced
1 Tbsp cider or rice vinegar
1 tsp sugar
salt and pepper to taste
2 Tbsp chopped, fresh mint
 
1. Trim the meat of excess fat and sinew - brush with oil and season with pepper
2. To make the salsa, peel the pineapple, remove the core and eyes and dice the flesh
3. Toss with the onion, chilli, vinegar, sugar, salt, pepper and mint and mix well
4. Cook the lamb chops on a hot, lightly oiled braai flatplate or grill for 2-3 minutes each side, turning one, until just tender
5. Serve with the pineapple salsa, a baked potato and lovely green salad

With thanks to Crossing Superspar in Nelspruit.
You can subscribe to their newsletter by clicking here

 

Links/Adverts

Additional Income

I have joined and it works, it is not a get rich quick scheme but with patience it can build up to a useful extra monthly income, it does require a little bit of marketing as well as a low monthly subscription, but, bottom line, it works.
This company is definitely not a scam. Be Motivated Today provides a motivational service and has great motivational products. The CEO, Arnfried Klein-Werner, is an International Motivational Speaker. He has tried and studied many systems that don't work and after 13 years developed a system that actually does work and is creating
an additional income for many South Africans already. He understands people's fears and therefore offers a 100% money-back guarantee, if you don't make money after 6 months. In other words you have nothing to lose.....
You have nothing to lose. I encourage you to visit the website and register to try the products and service out for free. Click here for more information. Register as a free trial member then upgrade to start your income stream.

I must add that I got just over R900 in commission in February, every little bit helps. It takes some time, but it will happen eventually. Remember to upgrade to start participating in the income stream.

I received this email recently:

Yes, out of curiosity I visited Be Motivated Today during September 2009, but only joined during August 2010, what a waste of time!!!.
If I knew what was happening during the year I wasted, man, I would have joined immediately after I  read the details of the setup.
I now have a waiting list of seven on my downline (one already joined as Silver), the others are bound to join during November and they are jumping around purely from excitement to get started and its rubbing off on me as well.
Just one question: My intention is to place an invitation advertisement on the rear window of my car, do you think it could shake some people out of their dreams and make them joining us?


My Super Duper Recipe CD

I have just added 37 very old digitally scanned (you see the actual pages of the book) recipe books to the CD, at no extra cost. Here is your chance to have a really unique recipe book collection.

I have decided to simplify the way I sell my recipe eBook collection.

I am putting them all on one CD in an English and Afrikaans folder now also a folder with the very old books,  over 130 recipe eBooks in all. That means less than R1 a recipe book, a real bargain! Most of the books come with resale rights so you can sell them individually if you wish.

Pricing: The CD costs  R120 registered postage included (R150 for next day Speed Services delivery in SA). Once I mail the CD I will email you the post office tracking number

Paypal orders also accepted at US$20 per CD overseas postage included. My Paypal email addy is peter@funkymunky.co.za

If you are interested in my Super CD just click here and I will send you my banking details. Remember to include you postal address.

As soon as I mail the CD I will email you the post office tracking number as proof of despatch.

FunkyMunky Traditional South African Recipes - A comprehensive collection of Traditional South African recipes.
Tradisionele Suid Afrikaanse Resepte - Traditional South African Recipes in Afrikaans
Christmas Recipes - A selection of Christmas Recipes for you to try!
101 Camping and Outdoor Recipes - Recipes for you to try next time you go camping
400 Refreshing punch recipes - Some great ideas for liquid refreshment at your next party
Favourite Christmas Cookies - 34 Great cookie recipes for you to enjoy!
Christmas Cookie Recipes - A delicious collection of Christmas Cookie Recipes
A Homemade Christmas - 100 Simple and delicious recipes for your special holiday meals
Holiday Candy and Fudge - 42 Great candy recipes, a hit with kids of all ages!
Kids Fun Recipes - 120 Fun and Delicious Recipes
Delicious Puddings - A Collection of 167 Pudding Recipes
Pumpkin Pie - Pumpkin pies and more!
Salad Recipes - A Collection of Easy to Follow Salad Recipes
Summer Party Cookbook - The name says it all!
Pampercat and Pamperdog - Recipe treats for your feline and canine friends
80 Seasonal Recipes from around the world - A selection of festive recipes from the four corners of the globe!
Crockpot Recipes - In South Africa we would probably call this Potjiekos
International Recipes - A selection of recipes from all over the world
Fish and Game Recipes - A selection of mouthwatering recipes
Lemonade - A large selection of lemonade recipes
Pizzeria - Try some of these great pizza recipes
Casseroles - 17 pages of mouthwatering casserole recipes
Low Fat Recipes - Watching your cholesterol? Then this is for you!
Soup Recipes - Ideal for those cold winter evenings
Chicken Recipes - 300 Delicious Chicken Recipes
Amish Recipes - 65 Tried and True Traditional Amish Recipes
Apple Recipes - Mouth watering apple recipes
Blue Ribbon Recipes - 490 Award Winning Recipes
The Bread Book - The bread and biscuit baker's and sugar boiler's assistant
Chocolate Delights - Deliciously decadent and delightful recipes for the chocaholic in you
Carolina Mountain Cooking - Created from the recipes and memories of two of the Carolina Mountain's most talented cooks.
Egg Recipes - 111 Great Egg Recipes
Great Gifts in a Jar - A personally made gift is usually more appreciated!
Italian Recipes - A collection of 185 delicious Italian dishes
Smoothies - 126 Easy recipes for maximum sports performance
Top Secret Recipes - Top secret famous recipes
Wings - The ultimate chicken wing cookbook
The Barmaster - Essential tips and techniques for bartenders
Be a Grillmaster - How to host the perfect bbq!
101 Good Jam Recipes - Make your own jams, 101 recipes for you to try
Deep Fryer Recipes - 101 Recipes for the Deep Fryer
Frozen Dessert Recipes - From ice cream to yoghurt - 170 pages of mouthwatering recipes.
Recipes from South of the Border - 247 pages of typically Mexican recipes
Various Rice Dishes - 32 Great Rice Dishes
The Appetizer Collection - More than 150 pages of great ideas for appetizers
The Big Book of Cookies - From Almond Bars to Zucchini Bars, they are all here, 233 pages of cookie recipes
Salad Recipes - A Collection of Easy to Follow Salad Recipes
Delicious Diabetic Recipes - A Collection of over 500 yummy recipes.
Cheesecake Recipes - Nearly 100 pages of yummilicious cheesecake recipes!

Bonus eBooks

Something for the gardeners
Organic Secrets - Everything you wanted to know about organic food


Profitable Crafts- Vol 1
Profitable Crafts - Vol 2
Profitable Crafts - Vol 3
Profitable Crafts - Vol 4
20 Vintage Crochet Patterns

Everything you wanted to know about making, marketing and selling your crafts.


Big Fat Lies - A shocking expose of the 12 biggest scams, cover-ups, lies, myths and deceptions
in the diet and weight-loss industries.

10,000 Dreams Interpreted

A List of the very old digitally scanned recipe eBooks.

A Calendar of Dinners with 615 recipes - 1922
A Dozen dainty recipes for preparing wartime canned meats - 1920
A Home Guide - or a book by 500 ladies - 1877
Aunt Carolines Dixieland Recipes - 1922
A Practical Dictionary of Cookery - 1200 tested recipes - 1898
Best recipes for baking - pre 1908
Buckeye Cookery and Practical Housekeeping - 1877
Burke's Complete Cocktail and tasty bite recipes - 1936
Catering for special occasions with menus and recipes - 1911
Diabetic Cookery - recipes and menus - 1917
Fifty Choice Recipes for Spanish and Mexican Dishes - 1905
Fifty valuable and delicious recipes made with corn meal - 1917
Heart of the Wheat - a book of recipes - 1910
Hospitality - recipes and enteertainment hints for all occasions - 1922
Hotel Management - quantity food recipes
Household hints and recipes - 1877
Ice Cream - practical recipes for making ice cream - 1886
Information for everybody - 1859
Jane Hamiltons Recipes - 1909
Just the thing - dainty dishes at small cost - 1899
Larger cookery book of extra recipes - 1891
Leather Manufacture - 1891
Light entertaining - a book of dainty recipes for special occasions - 1910
Mom's Cookbook
On Uncle Sam's Water Wagon - 500 recipes for delicious drinks that can be made at home - 1919
Our candy recipes - 1919
Practical Household Cookery - 1000 recipes - 1891
Preserves and Pickles - 1912
Recipes - dainties, salads and clever hints - 1919
Recipes for the preserving of fruit vegetables and meat - 1908
The Candy Maker's Guide - 1896
The Housekeeper's Friend - 1897
The Hygenic Cookbook - 1881
Tried and Tested Recipes - 1921
Two Hundred and Seventy Five Wartime Recipes - 1918
Two hundred recipes for cooking in casseroles - 1914
Two hundred recipes for making desserts - 1912
War Time Cookery - 1917
Wheatless Recipes - 1918
Wrinkles and Recipes, including farming and household hints - 1877

And here is a list of the recipe eBooks on the Afrikaans CD:

217 Egte Afrikaanse resepte, Aartappels, Beskuitresepte, Afrikaanse Resepteverskeidenheid, Brood resepte, Vul die beskuitblik, 'n Broodjie vir die blik, Blokkieskoek, Burgers Patties Frikadelle, Brood resepte, Drankies, Drinkgoed, Gemmerbier, Groente, Eet jou groente, Hoender resepte, Happies en Poffers, Kaaskoek, Ietsie anders resepte, Kerskoeke, Karavaan resepte, Kleinkoekies, Kinderlekkerte, Koekiedrukker resepte, Koeke, Likeur, Lekkergoed resepte, Nog resepte, McCain resepte, Moedersdag resepte
Mikrogolf resepte, Peterjasie se boek, Pastageregte, Peterjasie se Kersresepte versameling
Peterjasie se eBoek van vernoemde resepte, Poeding, Peterjasie se Tradisionele SA resepte
Resepte met biltong, Resepteverskeidenheid - ook grootmaat, Slaaie, Sommer net resepte, Sop in die pot, Sop resepte, Terte, Sous, Verskeie resepte 1, Souttert & Pannekoek, Vis en hoender, Veelsydige hoender, Vleisgeregte vir Kersdag, Verskeie resepte 2, Warm en koue drankies, Vleisresepte, Wille samies, Wafels en Pannekoeke, Wors en worsies

Allerlei

Annette se Boererate, Boererate en Verbruikerswenke, Hartstigting dieet, Lennons medikasie, Mate en gewigte, Sop dieet, S A Boererate eBoek, Metrieke omskakelingstabel, Werk van die huis


Silversands Online casino

We usually go to Carnival City, our local entertainment complex about twice a month for a movie, a good meal and a flutter at the tables or machines. Most times it is crowded and my favourite machines are taken. Then I came across Silversands online casino. You simply sign up, download some software and you can practice with fun money to your heart's content before you play with the real thing.
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Children's Stories on CD
Find it hard to get quality children’s stories? Join the popular Anna Emm Story Club in Afrikaans or English, and start adding to your child’s CD collection at an early age! Collect al 96 original stories (on 48 CDs!) over 2 years, or join for a minimum of 3 months - you decide! Receive 2 new CDs with original children’s stories every month! Anna Emm Productions has already produced more than 500 new children’s stories on CD. Click here to join . Ideal gift for children and grandchildren.


Africam
Just another reminder to join the Africam fan page on Facebook. They will be posting photos / videos and other udates and articles on the fan page from now.
join at http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/pages/Africam/169676953137?ref=ts
Also visit the Africam  website


Biltong in Australia?

It's not only the South African immigrants to Australia who are fond of biltong. More-and-more Australians are finding that biltong made with South African spices is so much tastier than the simple dried-meat product they call jerky. That's created a local market for South African spices, and an opportunity for a Brisbane-based business called Biltongspice.

Biltongspice now supplies a wide range of traditional and new spice products ideal for making biltong, jerky, droewors, boerewors and similar meat products. Their products include the Freddy Hirsch, Meister, Crown National, Aromat and Marina ranges, together with accessories such as biltong machines and biltong cutters. They also carry the top quality Protea biltong and droewors products, and ship locally throughout Australia. See their website www.biltongspice.com.au

 

Subscribe / Unsubscribe / Contact

To subscribe to this newsletter and view previous newsletters,  click here, to subscribe to my Afrikaans newsletter, click here. To unsubscribe, click on the appropriate link above and unsubscribe or email me at :  peter@funkymunky.co.za


 

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