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In South Africa we love the
outdoors and camping and a very special time is sitting around the
campfire in the evenings and telling stories. I recently came upon a book
titled Outa Karel's Stories. Over the next few letters I will be featuring
tales from this book which was published in 1914 and written by Sannie
Metelerkamp. I will start off with the foreword and introduction before
getting to the actual stories.
OUTA KAREL'S STORIES
SOUTH AFRICAN FOLK-LORE TALES BY SANNI METELERKAMP
MACMILLAN AND CO., LIMITED
ST. MARTIN'S STREET, LONDON
Here are two more stories, previous stories can be
“No Jakhals story to-night, please, Outa,” said little Jan, as they
gathered round the
fire. “We all think Jakhals was a cruel horrid creature, eating the poor
little Doves and
cracking the good Heron’s neck.”
“Yes,” chimed in Pietie, “he was always playing wicked tricks, so no more
for us. What will you tell us to-night, Outa?”
“Something really nice,” suggested Willem, “and not unkind.”
Outa’s beady black eyes twinkled from one to another of his little
masters, while an
affectionate smile spread over his yellow face, accentuating the wrinkles
it in every direction.
“Ach! the soft young hearts! Outa’s heart was like that once, too, but”—he
head—“if the heart doesn’t get a little taai like a biltong, it is of no
use to a person in
this old hard world.” He deposited his shapeless hat on the floor, tapped
kopdoek with a clawlike forefinger, and waited for an inspiration. It came
unexpected quarter, for suddenly there was a commotion at the end of his
the tails of which hung down nearly to the floor, and, diving into his
pocket, the old
man triumphantly produced a squirming tortoise.
“See what Outa caught for the baasjes near the Klip Kop this afternoon—a
berg schilpad.1 Now Baas Willem can put it in his kraal with the others
and let it lay
eggs. It is still young, but it will grow—yes, so big.” A cart-wheel might
comfortably contained in the circle described by Outa’s arms.
It was a knobbly, darkly-marked tortoise, quite unlike those the little
found in the veld near the house, and they took possession of it with
suggestions as to a name. After discussion, honours were equally in favour
Retief” and “Mrs. Van Riebeeck,” and it was decided that the casting vote
left to Cousin Minnie, the children’s governess.
For a long time they had kept tortoises of all sorts and sizes in their
and so tame and intelligent had some of these creatures grown that they
when called, and big old “Woltemade” roamed about at will, often
disappearing for a
time, and returning to his companions after a few days in the veld.
Outa turned the new acquisition on its back on the jackalskin rug, where
wriggling and going through the strangest contortions. “Ach! the wise
little man. Is it
there its mother sprinkled it with buchu,2 there, just under its arm?” He
skinny under-side of one of its forelegs. “Here, Baas Willem, put it in
till to-morrow. Ach! if only it had been a red tortoise, how glad Outa
“A red tortoise!” echoed Pietie and little Jan, while Willem hurried back
passage to hear all about it.
“And have the baasjes then never heard of a red tortoise? Yes, certainly,
red one is born, but not often—only once in a thousand years; and when
the news is sent round, because it is such a wonderful thing; and the
whole nation of
Schilpads—those frogs with bony shields and hard beaks—are glad because
know the little red one has come to help them against their enemies.
“Once a long, long time ago a mother Schilpad laid an egg in a shallow
hole in the
sand, just where the sun could warm it all the day, and she scraped a
little sand over
it, so that no one could see it. See baasjes, she was afraid of thieves.
It was white and
round, and so large that she felt very proud of it, and she often went to
see how it was
getting on. One day, as she got near the place she heard a little voice:
Mam-ma, mam-ma, come and find me.’
“So she called out, ‘Kindje, kindje, here’s your mam-ma.’ My! but she
Her short legs just went so”—Outa’s arms worked vigorously—“and when she
the karroo-bush where she had put the egg the shell was broken and a
Tortoise was sitting alongside of it!
“His shell was soft, and you could see everything inside of him, and how
went this way and that way: but never mind, it is maar so with little
tortoises. He was
fine and healthy, and everything about him was quite red. Alle wereld! old
was proud! She went and told all her friends, and they came from all sides
to see the
little Red Tortoise. There were berg tortoises, and vlakte tortoises, and
and even water tortoises, young and old, and they all sat round and
praised him and
gave him good advice and nice things to eat.
“He listened to everything and ate all the nice things, and grew bigger
and redder and
harder, but he didn’t talk much, and the Old Ones nodded to each other and
‘Ach, but he is sensible!’ But the Young Ones said, ‘Ach, but he is
they went away and crawled in the red clay to make themselves red. But it
good. In a little while it all rubbed off.
“At last all the visitor Schilpads went home again. But the little Red
with his Mam-ma, and went on growing bigger and redder and harder, and his
was toch so proud of him!
“When he walked in the veld and the other young tortoises said to him,
show you the way to do things; you must do so, and you must do so,’ he
can do so if you like, but I’ll do things my own way!’ And they said
Thing! Wait, Oubaas Giraffe will get you!’ But they left him alone, and
all wished they were red, they did not crawl in the clay any more: they
knew it was no
good. It was only from outside, so it soon rubbed off, but the little Red
was from inside; and baasjes know, for a thing to be any good it must be
inside.” He glanced involuntarily at the wall-cupboard where his soopje
locked up: it would certainly not be any good, in his opinion, till it was
on the inside
“But when the Old Tortoises gave him advice, the little Red Tortoise
thanked them. He was a wise little man. He knew when to speak and when to
“At that time, my baasjes, the whole Tortoise nation was having a hard
Oubaas Giraffe—that old horse with the long neck and the unequal legs, who
white and black like a burnt thornbush3 with crows sitting on it. He gives
when he is burnt, therefore is he called the Blue One.
“He had taken to eating tortoises. They didn’t know what to do. They tried
to make a
plan, but no! they could find no remedy. Whenever Oubaas Giraffe saw a
tortoise that he could easily swallow, he picked it up in his mouth, and
from fright it
pulled its head and all its feet into its shell, and—goops!—one swallow
and it had
sailed down the Blue One’s long throat, just like baasjes sail down the
plank at the
side of the skeer-kraal.
“The little Red Tortoise listened to the plans that were made, and at last
he thought of
a plan. He was not sure how it would go, but he was a brave little one,
and he thought
by himself, ‘If it goes wrong, there will be no more little Red Tortoise:
but if it goes
right, then the whole Tortoise nation will be able to live again.’
“So what did he do, my baasjes? He crawled out far in the veld and sat in
where the Old Blue One liked to walk. Soon he heard goof, goof, goof,
and nearer. Then the noise stopped. The little Red One peeped from under
Yes, there was the great Blue One, standing over him and looking very
“Do you know, little Red Tortoise, in one moment I could trample you to
“The little Red One was very frightened, for this was not his plan, but he
“‘Do you know, little Red Tortoise, in one moment I could swallow you?’
“‘Do you know, little Red Tortoise, in one moment I could swallow you.’”
“Ach! how glad was the little Red Tortoise! But he only said in a small
‘Yes, noble Blue One, I belong to the nation whom it is the custom to
“Oubaas Giraffe picked him up and gave a little gulp, and the little Red
slipped half-way down his long throat. But ojé! here a strange thing
little Red One would go no further. Instead of drawing in his head and
slipping down like a stone, like all the other tortoises had done, he
wanted to see
where he was going, so he stuck out his head, and fastened his sharp
little nails into
Oubaas Giraffe’s gullet, and there he hung like a bat on a wall.
“‘Go down, go down, little Tortoise! You choke me!’ The Old Blue One could
speak; his throat was so full of tortoise.
“‘Peep! peep!’ said the little Red One, and held on more tightly than
“‘Come up, come up, little Tortoise! You kill me!’ The Old Blue One was
and gurgling now.
“‘Peep! peep!’ said the little Red One, and hung on with his hard bent
beak as well.
He thought, ‘No! too many of my nation have sailed down this red sloot. I
“I tell you, baasjes, Oubaas Giraffe danced and pranced over the veld; he
and bellowed; he gurgled and swallowed; he tried to get the little Red
and he tried to get him up; but it was no use. The little Red One clung
fast to him till
he was quite choked, and sank down in the sand and died.
“Then the little Red Tortoise crawled out, and went home to tell his Mam-ma
had killed Oubaas Giraffe and that his nation could have peace again. Ach!
was proud of him!
“‘It’s not for nothing you were born red,’ she said. ‘Come here, my little
Crab, that I
may put buchu under your arm. Come, my crooked-legged little one, let your
sprinkle you with buchu!’
“When she had sprinkled him with buchu, they went and told their friends,
and all the
Tortoise nation rejoiced and went and had a great feast off Oubaas Giraffe
as he lay
dead in the veld.
“And they thought more of the little Red Tortoise than ever. Even the
who had been angry with him, said, ‘He is wiser than we are. We will
listen to what
he says. P’r’aps, after all, there is something in being born a certain
An aromatic veld herb, from which a decoction is made. Sprinkling buchu
under the arm is a
Hottentot custom in token of approval.
The Mimosa, which is white when burnt by the sun.
The Ostrich Hunt.
The next day all the time that was not given to lessons and meals was
spent by the
little boys in scouring the veld for a red tortoise. Disappointment at
search found vent in no measured terms when Outa Karel appeared in the
at his usual hour.
“Ach, to hear them now!” he said, regarding them with his wide-mouthed
amused tolerance. “Does it then rain red tortoises? And how can the
they will find at the first shot a thing that only comes once in a
“Well,” said Willem, stoutly, “it might just have been the time for one.
How were we
“Outa,” asked little Jan, earnestly, “do you know when it will be red
“Aja, baasjes,” said Outa readily, “it won’t be long now. Let Outa think.”
performed a tattoo on the red kopdoek—a sure sign that he was in the thick
gymnastics. “What comes just before a thousand, my baasjes?”
“Nine hundred and ninety-nine,” answered Pietie, who was good at
“Now, yes,” said Outa, triumphantly, “I knew it must be nearly time. It is
hundred and ninety-nine years since there was a red tortoise, so next year
baasjes can begin to look for one. Only begin, my baasjes, because it will
creeping out of the egg then. And p’r’aps it won’t be in this veld. It
might be far, far
away where people don’t know about a red tortoise, and so no one will look
Must Outa tell another story about him?”
The sly old man had taken the best way of escaping more questions. The
gathered round and listened wide-eyed as he told the story of the
“After Oubaas Giraffe was dead, the Tortoises had a nice life for a long
then there came into their veld Old Three Sticks, the Ostrich, with his
pap-pa, and his wives, and uncles, and aunties, and children, and friends.
were a lot of Ostriches! The whole veld was full of them, and they all
tortoises wherever they could find them. It was just the same like when
Giraffe used to go about. And the tortoises thought and thought, and they
talked, but they couldn’t make a plan that would drive the Ostriches away.
“The little Red Tortoise was thinking, too, but he didn’t talk till he had
his plan ready.
Then he called all the Tortoises together. The Old Ones came because they
hear what the wise little Red One had to say, and the Young Ones came
since he had killed Oubaas Giraffe they had listened to him. When they
together he said, ‘It now goes on too long, this hunting of the Tortoises
by Old Three
Sticks and his friends. Let us change places and let us, the Tortoise
people, go and
“‘Peep! peep!’ cried all the young Tortoises: they were quite ready. But
the Old Ones
said, ‘Is this the wise little Red One? How is it possible for us to hunt
“‘It is possible, because Ostriches never run straight, but always a
little in the round,
and a little in the round, so that in the end if they run long enough they
come again to
the place they began from. Now yes, on a certain day let us then go into
where the Ostriches like to hunt, and let us make two long rows, not
straight out but
always in the round; one ring, very large, outside, and the other,
smaller, inside. Then
when Old Three Sticks and his friends come we will call one to the other
them on, and they will flee through the midst of us, round and round and
they can flee no longer.’
“‘Peep! peep!’ said the young Tortoises, and the Old Ones joined in. They
saw that it
was a good plan, so they all went to the hunting veld of Old Three Sticks
friends and spread themselves out, as the little Red Tortoise had said.
“Soon the Ostriches came, pecking, pecking, as they walked.
“The Tortoises sat very still, waiting, my baasjes, just waiting, till the
right in the middle of the two rings. Then the little Red Tortoise gave
‘Peep! Peep!’ and at once the calling began.
“‘Are you there?’ called the first Tortoise.
“‘I am here,’ said the next, and so it went on all round the circle, one
calling to the
“‘What are you doing?’ called the first one.
“Hunting Ostriches,’ said the next, and so it went on all round the circle
calling to the other.
“The Ostriches could see nothing. They could only hear voices calling.
at each other and said, ‘What are these voices? It is surely a great army
come to hunt
us. Let us get away.’
“They were very frightened and began to run, and as far as they ran they
“‘Are you there?’
“‘I am here.’
“‘What are you doing?’
“So it went on, over and over again. The Tortoises never moved, only kept
out. And the Ostriches ran faster and faster, all in the round, till at
last they were so
tired they couldn’t run any more. First one fell, and then another, and
another, till there were heaps of them lying about, and just where they
fell they lay
quite still. They were too tired to move.
“The Ostriches ran faster and faster”
“Then the Tortoises gathered together—they were very many—and they bit Old
Three Sticks and all his family and friends on their long necks and killed
“Since then the Tortoises have had peace from the Long-necked People—Oubaas
Giraffe and old Three Sticks. It is only the Things of the Air, like Crows
Lammervangers, that still hunt them, and baasjes know how they do? They
poor Tortoise in their claws and fly away with him, high up over a kopje,
they drop him on the stones—kabloops!—and there he lies with his shell all
and without a shell how can a Tortoise live? And then the Thing of the Air
eats him up, and that is the end of the poor Tortoise. But a Red Tortoise
touch. It is his colour, baasjes, that frightens them. So the Young
Tortoises were right
when they said, ‘There is something, after all, in being born a certain
“After the Ostrich hunt, the little Red Tortoise was sprinkled with buchu
arms, and his Mam-ma sang him this song:—
The little crook-legged one! I could sprinkle it,
Sprinkle it with buchu under its arms.
The little red crab! The little Wise One!
I sprinkle the buchu under both arms.
For the Long-necks, they that ate us,
It has found a way to kill them;
So we sprinkle it, the little Red One,
Sprinkle the buchu under both arms.”
The usual discussion took place when Outa had finished, and at last Pietie
said, “If I
had to be a Tortoise, I’d be a red one.”
“Why, my little master?”
“Because the Crows and Lammervangers don’t catch it. To be swallowed by an
ostrich or stick in a giraffe’s throat would not be so bad, but I’d hate
to be broken on
“Ach! my baasje, no matter how Old Friend Death comes, we are never ready
him. When Outa was young he was nearly killed by a troop of springbucks,
thought, ‘No, not toch trampled to death; to be carried down the river is
when the flood came and the river carried Outa away, he fought for his
life just as
hard as when the springbucks were on him. It was the same when the hut was
and when the mad bull chased Outa across the veld. Over and over again the
Always another sort of death seems better. Always Old Friend Death finds a
quite ready for him.”
“And now how would you like him to find you, Outa?” asked Willem with much
A whimsical smile spread over the old man’s face. “Ach! to hear him! Just
the sun, my baasje, by the skeer-kraal wall, where I have sat for so many,
When he comes I will say, ‘Morning, Old Friend, you have been a long time
road—ach! so long, that I am tired of waiting. Let us go at once.’ A
pack up for that trek, baasjes. I’ll just drop my old sheepskin kaross,
and take Old
Friend Death’s hand and let him show me the way. It is far, my baasjes,
far to that
land, and no one ever comes back from it. Then someone else will tell the
the fire: there will be no Outa any more to talk to the little masters.”
His voice had
dropped to a musing tone.
“Don’t! Don’t!” cried Pietie in a choked voice.
“Outa, you mustn’t say such things,” said Willem, and they each seized one
crooked hands, while little Jan clung to his old coat as though he would
never let it
“I want my Outa,” he cried. “He mustn’t go away. I want my Outa Karel!”
The old man’s eyes glistened with a moisture not often seen in them.
“Still! still! my
little baasjes,” he said, stroking first one and then another. “Outa
doesn’t want to
make them sad. He is not going yet. He will sit here and tell his foolish
many nights yet.” A caressing smile broke over his grotesque face. “And do
want to keep their Outa? Ach! to think of it! The kind little hearts! But
what will the
Nooi say if the eyes are juicy? No, Outa only said about the skeer-kraal
and sitting in
the sun because it sounds so nice and friendly. Look how lively and well
like a young bull-calf!” He pretended playfully to toss them. “That’s
children, now you laugh again. But young bull-calves must also go in the
the hut is calling Outa. Night, my baasjes, night, night. Sleep well.
will tell them another beautiful story. Ach, the dear little ones! So good
to their ugly
Followed by a chorus of “good-nights” from the children; the old man
not knowing that he had spoken with prophetic voice, and that Friend Death
find him, even as he wished, sitting in the sun by the skeer-kraal.
But that was not yet awhile, and he told many stories before setting out
on the Great
Trek for the Unknown Veld whence no traveller returns.
Checking out at
the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman, that she should
bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the
The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back
in my earlier days." The young clerk responded, "That's our problem today.
Your generation did not care enough to save our environment f or future
She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.
Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the
store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized
and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they
really were truly recycled. But we didn't have the green thing back in our
Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags, that we reused
for numerous things, most memorable besides household garbage bags, was
the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our schoolbooks. This was
to ensure that public property, (the books provided for our use by the
school) was not defaced by our scribbling's. Then we were able to
personalize our books on the brown paper bags. But too bad we didn't do
the green thing back then.
We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store
and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into
a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was
right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.
Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the
throwaway kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling
machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our
clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their
brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is
right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day.
Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every
room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember
them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana.
In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have
electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item
to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not
Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.
Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the
lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by
working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that
operate on electricity. But she's right; we didn't have the green thing
We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a
plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing
pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor
blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because
the blade got dull. But we didn't have the green thing back then.
Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to
school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi
service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of
sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized
gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in
space in order to find the nearest burger joint.
But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks
were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?
All you ever
wanted to know about the 2013 Super rugby season
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Seeing that photography is my
passion I thought it about time to feature a South African photographer in
my newsletter. I have been a fan of Andy for some time now and would like
to share the link to her blog. She is a great photographer and is
fortunate enough to live in the Fairest Cape where great landscapes just
beg to be photographed.
to view her blog and while you are there subscribe to her newsletter as
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Right click here to download a recipe eBook with chocolate recipes
Some of us were born a little after 1940 , but we can
still appreciate the truths..
We Are Survivors (for those born Before 1940. ..)
We were born before television, before penicillin, polio shots, frozen
foods, Xerox, contact lenses, videos and the pill. We were before radar,
credit cards, split atoms, laser beams and ballpoint pens, before
dishwashers, tumble driers, electric blankets, air conditioners, drip-dry
clothes ... and before man walked on the moon.
We got married first and then lived together (how quaint can you be?). We
thought fast food' was what you ate in Lent, a 'Big Mac' was an oversized
raincoat and `crumpet' we had for tea. We existed before house husbands,
computer dating and sheltered accommodation was where you waited for a
We were before day care centres, group homes and disposable nappies. We
never heard of FM radio, tape decks, artificial hearts, word processors,
or young men wearing earrings. For us 'time sharing' meant togetherness, a
'chip' was a piece of wood or fried potato, 'hardware' meant nuts and
dolts and 'software' wasn't a word.
Before 1940 ‘Made in Japan' mean junk the term 'making out' referred to
how you did in your exams, 'stud' was something that fastened a collar to
a shirt and going all the way' meant staying on a double-decker bus to the
terminus. In our day, cigarette smoking was fashionable; grass' was mown,
‘coke' was kept in the coalhouse, a ‘joint' was a piece of meat you ate on
Sundays and ‘pot' was something you cooked in. 'Rock Music' was a fond
mother's lullaby, 'Eldorado' was an ice¬ cream, a gay person' was the life
and soul of the party, while 'aids' just meant beauty treatment or help
for someone in trouble.
We who were born before 1940 must be a hardy bunch when you think of the
way in which the world has changed and the adjustments we have had to
make. No wonder there is a generation gap today ... BUT
By the grace of God... we have survived!
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A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair
styled for a trip to Rome
with her husband. She mentioned the trip to her hairdresser, who
"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You
are crazy to go there. So, how are you getting there?"
"We are taking Continental" was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline.
Their planes are old, their attendants are ugly, and they are always late.
So where are you staying in Rome?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on the Tiber called Teste".
"Don't go any further. I know the place. People think it is going to be
special but it is really a dump."
"We're going to the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people
trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant."
"Boy, good luck on this lousy trip. You're going to need it."
(( One month later -- the woman is back with the hairdresser, who
asks her about her trip ))
"It was wonderful. Not only were we on time in one of Continental's
new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first
class. The food and wine were superb, and I had a handsome 28 year
old steward who waited on me hand and foot.
And the hotel was great! They just finished a $5 million remodeling
job, and it is a jewel, plus they, too, were overbooked so they gave
us the bridal suite at no extra charge".
"Well", muttered the hairdresser, "that's all fine, but I'm sure you
didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a
Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope
likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into
private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later the Pope walked through the door and
shook my hand. I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."
"Oh, really! What'd he say?"
"He said: 'Who screwed up your hair?' "
The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.
'Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down
at the Harp Pub in County Clare , Ireland . I am ringing to inform you
that we are officially declaring war on you! We voted to reject the Lisbon
treaty!' 'Well, Paddy,' Sarkozy replied, 'This is indeed important news!
How big is your army?'
'Right now,' says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, 'there is myself,
me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team
from the pub. That makes eleven!'
Sarkozy paused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my
army waiting to move on my command.'
'Begoora!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to ring you back.'
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is
still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!'
'And what equipment would that be Paddy?' Sarkozy asks.
'Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor.'
Sarkozy sighs amused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and
5,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to
150,000 since we last spoke.'
'Saints preserve us!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to get back to you.'
Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is
still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified
Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit,
and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!'
Sarkozy was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell
you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military
bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!'
'Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!' says Paddy, 'I will have to ring you back.'
Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. 'Top o' the mornin', Mr.
Sarkozy! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war.'
'Really? I am sorry to hear that,' says Sarkozy. 'Why the sudden change of
'Well,' says Paddy, 'we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness and
packets of crisps, and we decided there is no fookin' way we can feed
200,000 prisoners .'
Ever walk into a room with some purpose in mind, only to completely forget
what that purpose was? Turns out, doors themselves are to blame for these
strange memory lapses.
Psychologists at the University of Notre Dame have discovered that passing
through a doorway triggers what's known as an event boundary in the mind,
separating one set of thoughts and memories from the next. Your brain
files away the thoughts you had in the previous room and prepares a blank
slate for the new locale.
It's not aging, it's the door!
Whew! Thank goodness !!!
*A man sees a sign outside a house -* *'Talking Dog For Sale .'*
*He rings the bell, the owner appears* a*nd tells him the dog can be
viewed in the back garden.*
*The man sees a very nice looking Golden Retriever sitting there.*
*"Do you really talk?" he asks the dog.*
*"Yes," the Retriever replies.*
*After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk,* t*he man asks,
"So, tell me your story."*
*The dog looks up and says,*
*"Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was quite young.* *I wanted
to help the government, so I told the SAS what I could do. In no time at
all they had me jetting from country to country*, s*itting in rooms with
spies and world leaders. Because no one imagined that a dog would be
eavesdropping,* *I was one of their most valuable spies for more than
*"But all the jetting around really tired me out,*
a*nd I knew I wasn't getting any younger*, s*o I decided to settle down.*"
*"I signed up for a job at Heathrow Airport* t*o do some undercover
security work,* w*andering near suspicious
and listening in.*"
*"I uncovered some incredible dealings* a*nd was awarded several medals.
*"I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired."*
*The man was amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how
much he wants for the dog.*
*"Ten quid," the owner says.
"£10.....!!? But this dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you
selling him so cheaply?"* *says the man.*
*The owner replies "Because he's a lying b*stard, he's never been out of
Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spendingthe night together in a hotel room
and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy.
The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?"
Donald frowned and said, "No."
Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom,they could not have sex.
"Maybe they sell them at the front desk," she suggested.
So Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they had
"Yes, we do," the clerk said and pulled a box out from under the counter
and gave it to Donald.
The clerk asked, "Would you like me to put them on your bill?"
"Thit No!" Donald quacked, "I'll thuffocate!"
Four guys have been going to the same fishing trip for many years.
Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and
tells him he isn't going.
Ron's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Ron sitting
there with a tent set up,
firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.
"Shit Ron, how long you been here, and how did you talk your missus into
letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in
my chair and my wife
came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who?'"
I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new nightie.
She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom.. The room had candles and
rose petals all over.
On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her
to the bed, and I did.
And then she said to my surprise , "Do whatever you want."
So, Here I am...
A single glass at night could mean a peaceful, uninterrupted nights sleep.
NEW Wine for Seniors , I kid you not.....
Clare Valley vintners in South Australia,
which primarily produce
Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir, and Pinot
have developed a new hybrid grape
that acts as an anti-diuretic.
It is expected to reduce the number of trips
older people have to make to the
bathroom during the night.
The new wine will be marketed as
I was out walking with my Grandson. He picked up something off
the ground and started to put it in his mouth. I took the item away
from him and I asked him not to do that.
"Why" my Grandson asked.
"Because it's been on the ground; you don't know where it's been,
it's dirty, and probably has germs," I replied.
At this point, my Grandson looked at me with total admiration
and asked, "Grandma, how do you know all this stuff??
You are so smart."
I was thinking quickly and said to him, "all Grandmas know stuff.
It's on the Grandma Test. You have to know it, or they don't let
you be a Grandma."
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but he was evidently
pondering this new information.
"Oh....I get it"! he beamed, "so if you don't pass the test,
you have to be the Grandpa".
'Exactly,' I replied with a big smile on my face.
HEARD ON THE LONDON UNDERGOUND TUBE
A list of actual announcements that London Tube train drivers have made to
1) 'Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologize for the delay to your service. I
know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be
married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the
Westbound and go in the opposite direction.'
2) 'Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering
from E & B syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you
know any further information as soon as I'm given any.'
3) 'Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that
last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The
bad news is that there is a points failure somewhere between Mile End and
East Ham, which means we probably won't reach our destination.'
4) 'Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay, but there is a
security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the
foreseeable future, so let's take our minds off it and pass some time
together. All together now.... 'Ten green bottles, hanging on a
5) 'We are now travelling through Baker Street ... As you can see, Baker
Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so
I could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like
6) 'Beggars are operating on this train. Please do NOT encourage these
professional beggars. If you have any spare change, please give it to a
registered charity. Failing that, give it to me.'
7) During an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line, the driver
announced in a West Indian drawl: 'Step right this way for the sauna,
ladies and gentleman... unfortunately, towels are not provided.'
8) 'Let the passengers off the train FIRST!' (Pause ) 'Oh go on then,
stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care - I'm going home....'
9) 'Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with 'Please
hold the doors open.' The two are distinct and separate instructions.'
10) 'Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that
the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags
into the doors.'
11) 'We can't move off because some idiot has their hand stuck in the
12) 'To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the
second carriage -- what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you
13) 'Please move all baggage away from the doors.' (Pause..) 'Please move
ALL belongings away from the doors.' (Pause...) 'This is a personal
message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the
train: Put the pie down, Four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs away
from the door before I come down there and shove them up your a**e
14) 'May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed
on any part of the Underground. However, if you are smoking a joint, it's
only fair that you pass it round the rest of the carriage.'
To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine.
And those who don't
and are always
seen with a bottle of water
in their hand.
As Ben Franklin said:
In wine there is wisdom,
In beer there is freedom,
In water there is bacteria.
In a number of carefully controlled trials,
Scientists have demonstrated that if we drink
1 litre of water each day,
At the end of the year we would have absorbed
More than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli,
(E. Coli) - bacteria
Found in faeces.
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.
We do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer
(or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor)
Because alcohol has to go through a purification process
Of boiling, filtering and/or Fermenting.
Water = Poop,
Wine = Health
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid,
Than to drink water and be full of $hit..
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information:
I'm doing it as a public service
- A selection of my photos
Taken during our recent trip to Kruger Park. At the rate they are
being poached we might only see them on photos in the near future!
For the latest on happenings in Zimbabwe, go to:
http://www.sokwanele.com/thisiszimbabwe/ and subscribe
to their newsletter, a really good source of current information
is writing from Zimbabwe, her letter is below.
Dear Family and Friends,
Eyebrows are up, suspicions are high and whispers are spreading
about the car crash which led to the recent death of a senior
politician in Zimbabwe. The ZANU PF MP for Guruve South, Edward
Chindori-Chininga died on the 19th June 2013 when his car hit a
tree. The death of the MP came just as Zanu PF began the process
of candidate selection for their primary elections.
Rather than suppressing people’s suspicions, the photos of the car
and description of the crash location, together with the events of
the past week, have opened the flood gates of doubt. MP
Chindori-Chininga was the chairman of the parliamentary portfolio
committee on mines and energy and had become known as ‘the
whistleblower’ for tenaciously tracking and fearlessly exposing
the involvement of Zanu PF officials in the Marange diamond mines.
Just a week ago Mr Chindori- Chininga presented a report to
parliament in which he wrote of ‘diamond barons’ and disclosed how
millions of dollars of diamond royalties had disappeared.
According to Mr Chindori-Chininga’s report, one diamond company,
Mbada, said it had paid $293 million in taxes over four years but
the government said it had only received $82 million. Everyone got
busy on their calculators trying to work out how many things could
be fixed in our poor, broken down country with the missing 211
million US dollars – and that was just from one of the diamond
companies in Marange, what about the rest?
The mysterious death of Mr Chindori Chininga received widespread
coverage on internet Facebook pages. Revelations, names,
accusations and phone numbers relating to the mysterious car crash
were posted on the massively popular Baba Jukwa Facebook page
caused a dramatic increase to 167 thousand followers, a jump of
over six thousand people in just two days. The meteoric rise of
Baba Jukwa is the talk of the country and everywhere people are
logging in from homes and offices, laptops, desktops and
cellphones to get the latest inside information about the
wheeling, dealing and dirty deeds of people in positions of power
and responsibility. One contributor describes Baba Jukwa as:
“the national spirit of rebellion that has entered and found
comfort in the hearts of all Zimbabweans.”
Joining the Baba Jukwa ‘spirit of rebellion’ in recent weeks have
been two satirical, snivelling, secret agents who you love to
They are CIO characters called Nyoka and Kunyepa (Snake and Liar)
whose schemes, plots and grovelling phone calls feature on You
Tube clips. The latest Nyoka and Kunyepa cartoon caused much mirth
when it included Baba Jukwa, showing him taking notes at a cabinet
That clip attracted over eight thousand views in the first three
days of its release.
Strange as it may seem, the cartoon faces of Nyoka, Kunyepa and
Baba Jukwa are becoming the identity of election 2013 and as
NewsDay newspaper said in an editorial about Baba Jukwa this week:
“It will be naïve to ignore what this Facebook character says as
we go towards elections.” Who knows, perhaps these three faces
will even be on ballot slips in a few months time?
Until next time, thanks for reading.
22nd June 2013. Copyright Cathy Buckle.
For information on my new book “IMIRE”, about Norman Travers and
Imire Game Park, or my other books about Zimbabwe: “Innocent
Victims,” African Tears,” “Beyond Tears;” and “History of the
Mukuvisi Woodlands 1910-2010”, or to subscribe/unsubscribe to this
letter, please visit my website or contact email@example.com <mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org>
The inhabitants of the Mediterranean region have such a low
incidence of some of the diseases that plague other Western
countries. Diet plays an important role in these statistics.
Southern Spain, the south of France, Italy, Greece, Turkey, the
Middle East and North Africa make up the Mediterranean region.
They are all well known for their healthy diet and lifestyle.
There food is rich in fresh fruit and vegetables, grains, pulses,
nuts and fish. They eat very little red meat and other animal
fats. The main source of fat is olive oil, used both for cooking
Their mild climate and golden sunshine is perfect for cultivating
their most prized ingredients. The azure sea is brimming with a
variety of different species of fish and shellfish, very popular
ingredients of their cuisine.
Mediterranean food is based on peasant cooking with a respect for
individual ingredients and a focus on simplicity. No complicated
cooking methods or exotic ingredients are used.
Each country favours their special herbs and spices that lends a
unique flavour to traditional dishes.
The relatively low incidence of heart disease, obesity, diabetes
and cancer throughout the Mediterranean is a phenomenon that
dieticians and nutritionists continue to research. Apart from the
healthy diet, the slower pace of live is also a big contributor.
While the Mediterranean diet as a whole has obvious health
benefits, there are some particular ingredients that make
significant contributions to it's good reputation - olive oil,
legumes, grains, leafy greens and vegetables, fish, eggs, yoghurt
Olive oil:- This is the most commonly used oil in the
Mediterranean.It's a versatile oil with four major classes - extra
virgin olive oil, virgin olive oil, olive oil and light olive oil
- ranging from fruity to very mild. These are used in both cooking
and flavouring. This is possible the most significant ingredient
in this cuisine. The higher the quality of the oil, the better the
flavour. Olive oil is a monounsaturated fat that helps to lower
LDL or 'bad' cholesterol in the blood. It also contains
anti-oxidants, and is a source or vitamins A, B, C, D, E and K.
Legumes:- Borlotti beans, cannellini beans, chickpeas, lentils and
dried broad beans are classic peasant food - an inexpensive source
of protein. They are also high in fibre and have a low GI. Dried
or canned, they have a wide range of uses in Mediterranean
cuisine, from soups and stews to salads.
Grains:- The grains found in these foods are mainly whole grains,
which can help reduce the risk of heart disease. Wheat is an
important staple, found in various guises, including burghul, a
wholegrain form that is used in salads and pilafs, and bread,
pasta and couscous made form high-protein durum wheat flour.
Significantly, bread is either eaten plain or with olive oil, not
butter or margarine. Rice is another mainstay of Mediterranean
cooking, and various kinds are used to suit different dishes.
Leafy greens and vegetables:- Filled with a wide variety of
vitamins, minerals and phytochemicals the salad greens, herbs and
vegetables that feature in the Mediterranean diet are eaten
regularly and in large quantities.
Fish:- Fresh from the sparkling blue Mediterranean sea, fish and
shellfish make up a significant part of the diet. Fish is a rich
source of omega-3 fatty acids, important for heart health and for
brain development in children.
Eggs:- Another good-quality protein in the diet, found in
breakfast, lunch and dinner dishes.
Yoghurt and cheese:- These are good sources of calcium. Yoghurt
plays an important role in Mediterranean cook, particularly in
Greece and Turkey. It gives dishes a lovely creamy texture where
other cuisines use high-fat cream for the same effect. Most
Mediterranean countries have their own speciality cheese -
bocconcini, fetta, haloumi, kefalotyri, parmesan, pecorino and
provolone are some of the best know.
There are significant health benefits to be gained by switching to
a Mediterranean-style diet. Even making small modifications to
your current eating habits can make a big difference to your
Tips for switching to a Mediterranean-style diet
•Eats lots of fresh seasonal fruit and vegetables.
•Cook with whole grains, and switch to wholegrain bread, rice and
•Eat fish and seafood at least twice a week, poultry one a week
and red meat once a week.
•Choose small, lean portions of red meat.
•Replace meat with legumes as a source of protein.
•Use olive oil or tahini as a spread or dip for bread instead of
•Snack on unsalted nuts, especially almonds, pistachios and
•Replace butter with olive oil in your cooking.
•Use garlic as a seasoning - apart from it's lovely flavour and
aroma, it is rich in minerals and vitamins.
•Generously season your food with fresh herbs and spices, instead
•Eat your main meal at lunchtime and have a lighter dinner, such
as soup with some crusty bread.
•Enjoy the flavours of simple foods - dress up a simple meal with
roasted cherry tomatoes or preserved lemons, capers and homemade
condiments, such as pesto and olive tapenade.
•Finish your meals with fresh or dried fruit and nuts.
This South Africa
- news headlines
The all-in-one official guide
and web portal to South Africa.
Looking for a specific South African recipe?
and I will do my best to find it for you!
Roasted Tomato, Capsicum and Chorizo Soup
1 red onion, unpeeled and quartered
2 red capsicums, halved lengthways and seeded
4 roma tomatoes, halved
2 cloves garlic, unpeeled
500ml salt-reduced chicken stock
salt and freshly ground black pepper
400g can red kidney beans, drained and rinsed
100g chorizo, diced
2 tsp balsamic vinegar
4 Tbsp roughly torn fresh basil
1. Preheat the grill to high. Place the onion, capsicums and tomatoes on a
large baking tray, cut sides down, with the garlic cloves. Grill the
vegetables for about 8 minutes, or until the skins begin to blacken. Allow
to cool slightly, then peel the skins from the onion, capsicums and
tomatoes. Squeeze the garlic flesh from the skins.
2. Chop half the vegetables into small chunks and place in a saucepan.
Blend the remainder of the vegetables in a food processor or blender with
the garlic flesh and chicken stock until smooth. Pour into the saucepan
with the chopped vegetables and lightly season with salt and pepper.
3. Bring the soup to the boil, stirring occasionally. Add the red kidney
beans, chorizo and balsamic vinegar, cover and gently simmer for 2 - 3
minutes. Toss the basil into the soup just before serving. (It will darken
if added too soon.)
Mediterranean Chicken with Olives
2 Tbsp olive oil
2 onions, roughly chopped
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 Tbsp chopped, fresh rosemary
40g chorizo sausage, skinned and diced
2 large red capsicums, seeded and roughly chopped
4 Tbsp sun-dried tomatoes, roughly chopped
400g can chopped tomatoes
3 Tbsp dry white wine
freshly ground black pepper
4 chicken breast fillets
4 Tbsp pitted black or green olives
1. Heat the oil in a large, heavy flameproof casserole dish or deep frying
pan. Add the onion, garlic and rosemary and cook gently, stirring
frequently, for about 15 minutes, or until soft and golden.
2. Add the chorizo and capsicums and cook over a medium heat, stirring
frequently, for a couple of minutes, or until the sausage turns slightly
3. Add the sun-dried tomatoes, canned tomatoes with their juice, and the
wine. Season with freshly ground black pepper, then stir well and bring to
4. Add the chicken and stir to coat with the sauce. Bring to the boil,
then reduce the heat, cover and simmer for 25 - 30 minutes, or until the
chicken is tender and the sauce is thick.
5. Just before serving, stir in the olives and cook for just long enough
to heat them through.
3 Tbsp olive oil
4 bone-in chicken breast halves, about 1kg in total, halved crosswise
3 Tbsp plain flour
1 red onion, finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, crushed
250g mushrooms, quartered
125ml dry white wine
185g canned chopped tomatoes
2 Tbsp tomato paste
1/2 tsp salt
1. In a large non-stick frying pan, heat 2 Tbsp of the oil over a
medium-high heat. Dredge the chicken in the flour, shaking off the excess.
Add the chicken to the pan and cook for 5 minutes on each side, or until
golden brown. Transfer the chicken to a plate.
2. Add the remaining oil to the pan and heat over a medium heat. Cook the
onion and garlic, stirring frequently, for 3 - 4 minutes, or until the
onion is soft. Add the mushrooms and cook for 5 minutes, or until the
mushrooms are tender but firm.
3. Stir in the wine and bring to the boil. Add the tomatoes, tomato paste
and salt and return to the boil. Return the chicken pieces to the pan,
cover and simmer, turning occasionally, for 20 minutes, or until the
chicken is cooked through. Serve hot.
Salt and Pepper Calamari
finely grated zest of 2 lemons
2 Tbsp black peppercorns
2 tsp coarse sea salt
2 Lebanese cucumbers (small cucumbers)
2 Tbsp rice vinegar
2 tsp caster sugar
1/4 tsp salt
750g calamari tubes
olive oil for cooking
1. To make the lemon pepper, preheat oven to 150°C . Spread the lemon zest
on a baking tray and bake for 5 minutes, or until dry but not coloured.
Set aside to cool. Using a mortar and pestle or spice grinder, crush the
lemon zest, peppercorns and sea salt together until the mixture is evenly
ground and combined. Set aside.
2. Thinly slice the cucumbers and place on a paper towel to drain. In a
bowl, combine the rice vinegar, sugar and salt, stir until the sugar has
dissolved. Toss the cucumber with the vinegar mixture.
3. Cut along 1 side of the calamari tubes and open out flat. Wipe firmly
with a paper towel. Using a sharp knife, lightly score the skin with a
series of parallel lines on a diagonal, being careful not to cut all the
way through. Cut another series of shallow lines at right angles to the
first diagonal lines, to make a diamond shape (this makes the calamari
curl as it cooks). Cut the calamari into pieces about 5 cm long and toss
in a bowl with half the lemon pepper until coated.
4. Heat a large frying pan over a high heat, then oil the pan well. When
the oil is hot, cook the calamari in batches, turning once. for 1 - 2
minutes. The calamari is cooked as soon as it turns white.
5. Sprinkle the calamari with the remaining lemon pepper and serve with
the cucumber salad.
Sardine and Capsicum Toasts
2 x 105g cans sardines in spring water, drained
2 stalks celery, finely chopped
1 red capsicum, seeded and finely chopped
1 red onion, thinly sliced
3 Tbsp tomato paste
3 Tbsp lime juice
pinch of celery salt
freshly ground black pepper
4 thick slices wholemeal or wholegrain bread
75g watercress leaves
1. Lightly break up the sardines in a bowl with a fork. Add the celery,
red capsicum, onion, tomato paste and lime juice to the sardines. Season
lightly with celery salt and black pepper.
2. Lightly toast the bread slices on both sides until golden. Divide the
watercress leaves among the slices and spoon the sardine mixture on top.
Tabouleh with Fish in Lemon Dressing
1 cup (180g) burghul
300g white fish fillets
1 small lemon, thinly sliced
2 sprigs parsley
5 black peppercorns
1 cucumber, seeded and diced
4 spring onions, thinly sliced
250g cherry tomatoes, halved
2 Tbsp chopped coriander leaves
2 Tbsp chopped fresh mint
2 Tbsp chopped fresh parsley
mint sprigs to serve
2 Tbsp olive oil
2 Tbsp red wine vinegar
2 Tbsp lemon juice
1 Tbsp grated lemon zest
1 tsp Dijon mustard
1 clove garlic, crushed
salt and freshly ground black pepper
1. Place the burghul in a large heatproof bowl and add 2 cups of boiling
water. Stand for 45 minutes, or until the grains are tender and the water
has been absorbed.
2. Meanwhile, place the fish fillets in a large pan and add the lemon
slices, parsley sprigs and peppercorns. Pour in enough cold water to cover
the fish. Bring to the boil, then reduce the heat and simmer, covered, for
5 minutes, or until the fish is opaque and flakes easily.
3. Remove the fish from the liquid and set aside to cool. Use a fork to
separate the fish into large flakes.
4. Place the burghul in a serving bowl and add the cucumber, spring
onions, tomatoes and chopped herbs. Gently mix the fish, taking care not
to break it up.
5. To make the lemon dressing, whisk all the ingredients in a bowl. Pour
the dressing over the salad and gently mix to combine.
6. Cover and chill the salad for 1 - 2 hours to allow the flavours to
develop. Check the seasoning before serving and garnish with the mint
400g new potatoes, scrubbed and cut into thin slices
150g frozen peas (1 cup)
3 Tbsp vegetable oil
1 large onion, halved and thinly sliced
2 large cloves garlic, crushed
6 large eggs
4 Tbsp chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
freshly ground black pepper
175g lean ham, about 5mm thick, chopped
6 cherry tomatoes, quartered
1. Bring a large saucepan of lightly salted water to the boil. Add the
potatoes and peas and return to the boil. Reduce the heat and simmer for 3
minutes, or until the potatoes are beginning to soften. Drain and set
2. Heat 2 Tbsp of the oil in a 25 cm ovenproof frying pan. When the oil is
hot, reduce the heat to medium, add the onion and cook for 2 minutes. Add
the garlic and cook for 3 minutes, or until the onion is soft but not
brown. Add the potatoes and peas and stir for 5 minutes, or until the
potatoes are tender. Remove the pan from the heat.
3. In a large bowl, lightly beat the eggs with the parsley and a little
pepper, then stir in the ham, tomatoes and the potato, onion and pea
4. Place the frying pan over a medium heat, add the remaining oil and
swirl it around. When the oil is hot, pour the egg mixture, spreading it
out evenly. Cook the tortilla for 5 - 7 minutes over a low heat, shaking
the pan frequently, until the base is set. Use a spatula to loosen and
lift the edges of the tortilla, allowing the uncooked egg mixture to run
underneath. Meanwhile, preheat the grill to medium.
5. Place the pan under the grill and cook the tortilla for 5 minutes or
until it is golden and set. Pierce the top with a knife to make sure it is
cooked through. Slide the tortilla onto a board and cool for 2 minutes.
Serve cut into wedges.
2 zucchini, sliced
1 eggplant, sliced
300g new potatoes, scrubbed and sliced
2 red capsicums, seeded and cut into thick strips
400g can borlotti beans, drained and rinsed
4 ripe tomatoes, about 500g in total, chopped
3 Tbsp roughly chopped fresh basil
2 Tbsp olive oil
salt and freshly ground black pepper
130g low-fat natural yoghurt
1 egg, lightly beaten
4 Tbsp grated parmesan
1.Preheat the oven to 180°C. Bring a large saucepan of salted water to the
boil. Add the zucchini and cook for 2 minutes. Remove from the water with
a slotted spoon and drain on paper towel. Add the eggplant slices to the
water and cook for 2 minutes, then remove and drain. Add the potato slices
to the water and cook for about 8 minutes, or until just tender. Drain and
set aside with the other blanched vegetables.
2. Meanwhile heat a cast iron, rigged grill pan over a high heat. Cook the
capsicum slices for 5 minutes, turning occasionally, until slightly
charred all over and starting to soften. Remove from the pan and roughly
3. Combine all the cooked vegetables with the borlotti beans, chopped
tomatoes and basil in a large baking dish. Drizzle with olive oil and
season to taste with salt and pepper and stir until well combined.
4. In a bowl, stir together the yoghurt, egg and parmesan until blended.
Spread over the top of the vegetables in an even layer (it may not cover
the vegetables completely, depending on the shape of the dish). Bake the
moussaka for 40 minutes, or until the vegetables are tender and the
topping is golden brown.
Pear and Fig Pancakes
310ml skim milk
110g plain flour
3 tsp caster sugar
pinch of salt
2 tsp sunflower oil
4 Tbsp low-fat fromage frais or thick Greek yoghurt
4 Tbsp maple syrup (optional)
1 Tbsp butter
750g pears, peeled, cored and chopped
100g dried figs, chopped
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
pinch of ground cloves
grated zest of 1/2 orange
120g soft brown sugar or Demerara sugar
1. To make the pancake batter, place the milk, egg, flour, sugar and salt
in a food processor and blend for 1 minute or until smooth. Alternatively,
place the flour, sugar and salt in a bowl, make a well in the centre and
pour in the combined egg and milk. Slowly stir with a wooden spoon to
incorporate the flour until smooth batter forms. Set the batter aside to
rest for 30 minutes.
2. Preheat the oven to 150°C. Grease an 18 cm non-stick frying pan with a
little sunflower oil and heat the pan until very hot. Pour in enough
batter and tilt the pan so that it covers the base. Cook for about 30 - 45
seconds, or until the underside is golden. Turn the pancake and cook the
other side for 1 minute, or until set.
3. Transfer the pancake to a sheet of paper towel. Repeat the process to
make 8 pancakes, separating each with a sheet of paper towel. Wrap the
stack of pancakes in foil and keep warm in the oven.
4. To make the filling, melt the butter in a small frying pan over a
medium heat. Add the pears and the figs, reduce the heat and simmer,
covered, for about 10 minutes, or until the pears are tender when tested
with a knife. Stir the cinnamon, cloves, orange zest and sugar into the
fruit and simmer for 5 minutes.
5. Divide the fruit mixture among the warm pancakes. Fold and serve two
pancakes per person. Top with the fromage frais or yoghurt, and maple
syrup, if desired.
Pear and Almond Tart
190g plain flour
pinch of salt
75g unsalted butter, diced and chilled
50g unsalted butter
3 Tbsp caster sugar
2 egg yolks
3 Tbsp plain flour
50g ground almonds
415g can pear halves in juice, drained and sliced lengthwise
1. Sift the flour and salt into a large bowl. Add the butter and, using
your fingertips, rub it into the flour until the mixture resembles
breadcrumbs. Sprinkle with 1 1/2 - 2 Tbsp cold water. Using a round-bladed
knife, stir to bind the mixture together. Knead gently on a floured work
surface for a few seconds until smooth. Wrap in plastic wrap and chill for
20 minutes before using.
2. Preheat the oven to 190°C and put a baking tray in the oven to heat up.
Roll out the pastry on a lightly floured work surface and use it to line a
24 cm loose-based, fluted tart tin. Prick the pastry base all over with a
fork, then chill for a further 10 minutes. Line the pastry with baking
paper and baking beads or uncooked rice and bake on the hot tray for 10
minutes, or until the pastry is set and pale golden. Remove the paper and
beads or rice, then bake for 5 minutes.
3. To make the filling, cream together the butter and sugar in a bowl
using a wooden spoon. Beat in the egg yolks, followed by the flour and
ground almonds. Spread the almond mixture over the base of the tart. Lay
the pear slices over the filling, gently pressing them down.
4. Bake the tart for 25 minutes, or until golden and firm. Remove from the
oven, and leave to cool slightly before removing from the tin. Cool
completely on a wire rack before serving.
I have joined and it works, it is not a get
rich quick scheme but with patience it can build up to a useful extra
monthly income, it does require a little bit of marketing as well as a low
monthly subscription, but, bottom line, it works.
This company is definitely not a scam. Be Motivated Today provides a
motivational service and has great motivational products. The CEO,
Arnfried Klein-Werner, is an International Motivational Speaker. He has
tried and studied many systems that don't work and after 13 years
developed a system that actually does work and is creating an
additional income for many South Africans already. He
understands people's fears and therefore offers a 100% money-back
guarantee, if you don't make money after 6 months. In other words
you have nothing to lose.....
You have nothing to lose. I encourage you to visit the website and
register to try the products and service out for free.
Click here for more information. Register as a free trial member then
upgrade to start your income stream.
I must add that I got just over
R900 in commission in
February, every little bit helps. It takes some time, but it will happen
eventually. Remember to upgrade to start participating in the income
I received this email recently:
Yes, out of curiosity I visited Be Motivated Today
during September 2009, but only joined during August 2010, what a waste of
If I knew what was happening during the year I wasted, man, I would have
joined immediately after I read the details of the setup.
I now have a waiting list of seven on my downline (one already joined as
Silver), the others are bound to join during November and they are jumping
around purely from excitement to get started and its rubbing off on me as
Just one question: My intention is to place an invitation advertisement on
the rear window of my car, do you think it could shake some people out of
their dreams and make them joining us?
My Super Duper Recipe CD
I have just added 37 very old digitally scanned (you see the actual
pages of the book) recipe books to the CD, at no extra cost. Here is your
chance to have a really unique recipe book collection.
I have decided to simplify the way I sell my recipe eBook collection.
I am putting them all on one CD in an English and Afrikaans folder
now also a folder with the very old books,
over 130 recipe eBooks in all. That means less
than R1 a recipe book, a real bargain! Most of the books come with resale
rights so you can sell them individually if you wish.
Pricing: The CD costs R120 registered postage included (R150 for
next day Speed Services delivery in SA). Once I mail the CD I will email
you the post office tracking number
Paypal orders also accepted at US$20 per CD overseas postage included.
My Paypal email addy is
If you are interested in my Super CD
just click here and I will send you my banking details. Remember to
include you postal address.
As soon as I mail the CD I will email you the post office tracking
number as proof of despatch.
FunkyMunky Traditional South African Recipes - A comprehensive
collection of Traditional South African recipes.
Tradisionele Suid Afrikaanse Resepte - Traditional South African Recipes
Christmas Recipes - A selection of Christmas Recipes for you to try!
101 Camping and Outdoor Recipes - Recipes for you to try next time you go
400 Refreshing punch recipes - Some great ideas for liquid refreshment at
your next party
Favourite Christmas Cookies - 34 Great cookie recipes for you to enjoy!
Christmas Cookie Recipes - A delicious collection of Christmas Cookie
A Homemade Christmas - 100 Simple and delicious recipes for your special
Holiday Candy and Fudge - 42 Great candy recipes, a hit with kids of all
Kids Fun Recipes - 120 Fun and Delicious Recipes
Delicious Puddings - A Collection of 167 Pudding Recipes
Pumpkin Pie - Pumpkin pies and more!
Salad Recipes - A Collection of Easy to Follow Salad Recipes
Summer Party Cookbook - The name says it all!
Pampercat and Pamperdog - Recipe treats for your feline and canine friends
80 Seasonal Recipes from around the world - A selection of festive recipes
from the four corners of the globe!
Crockpot Recipes - In South Africa we would probably call this Potjiekos
International Recipes - A selection of recipes from all over the world
Fish and Game Recipes - A selection of mouthwatering recipes
Lemonade - A large selection of lemonade recipes
Pizzeria - Try some of these great pizza recipes
Casseroles - 17 pages of mouthwatering casserole recipes
Low Fat Recipes - Watching your cholesterol? Then this is for you!
Soup Recipes - Ideal for those cold winter evenings
Chicken Recipes - 300 Delicious Chicken Recipes
Amish Recipes - 65 Tried and True Traditional Amish Recipes
Apple Recipes - Mouth watering apple recipes
Blue Ribbon Recipes - 490 Award Winning Recipes
The Bread Book - The bread and biscuit baker's and sugar boiler's
Chocolate Delights - Deliciously decadent and delightful recipes for the
chocaholic in you
Carolina Mountain Cooking - Created from the recipes and memories of two
of the Carolina Mountain's most talented cooks.
Egg Recipes - 111 Great Egg Recipes
Great Gifts in a Jar - A personally made gift is usually more appreciated!
Italian Recipes - A collection of 185 delicious Italian dishes
Smoothies - 126 Easy recipes for maximum sports performance
Top Secret Recipes - Top secret famous recipes
Wings - The ultimate chicken wing cookbook
The Barmaster - Essential tips and techniques for bartenders
Be a Grillmaster - How to host the perfect bbq!
101 Good Jam Recipes - Make your own jams, 101 recipes for you to try
Deep Fryer Recipes - 101 Recipes for the Deep Fryer
Frozen Dessert Recipes - From ice cream to yoghurt - 170 pages of
Recipes from South of the Border - 247 pages of typically Mexican recipes
Various Rice Dishes - 32 Great Rice Dishes
The Appetizer Collection - More than 150 pages of great ideas for
The Big Book of Cookies - From Almond Bars to Zucchini Bars, they are all
here, 233 pages of cookie recipes
Salad Recipes - A Collection of Easy to Follow Salad Recipes
Delicious Diabetic Recipes - A Collection of over 500 yummy recipes.
Cheesecake Recipes - Nearly 100 pages of yummilicious cheesecake recipes!
Something for the gardeners
Organic Secrets - Everything you wanted to know about organic food
Profitable Crafts- Vol 1
Profitable Crafts - Vol 2
Profitable Crafts - Vol 3
Profitable Crafts - Vol 4
20 Vintage Crochet Patterns
Everything you wanted to know about making, marketing and selling your
Big Fat Lies - A shocking expose of the 12 biggest scams, cover-ups, lies,
myths and deceptions
in the diet and weight-loss industries.
10,000 Dreams Interpreted
A List of
the very old digitally scanned recipe eBooks.
A Calendar of Dinners with 615 recipes - 1922
A Dozen dainty recipes for preparing wartime canned meats - 1920
A Home Guide - or a book by 500 ladies - 1877
Aunt Carolines Dixieland Recipes - 1922
A Practical Dictionary of Cookery - 1200 tested recipes - 1898
Best recipes for baking - pre 1908
Buckeye Cookery and Practical Housekeeping - 1877
Burke's Complete Cocktail and tasty bite recipes - 1936
Catering for special occasions with menus and recipes - 1911
Diabetic Cookery - recipes and menus - 1917
Fifty Choice Recipes for Spanish and Mexican Dishes - 1905
Fifty valuable and delicious recipes made with corn meal - 1917
Heart of the Wheat - a book of recipes - 1910
Hospitality - recipes and enteertainment hints for all occasions - 1922
Hotel Management - quantity food recipes
Household hints and recipes - 1877
Ice Cream - practical recipes for making ice cream - 1886
Information for everybody - 1859
Jane Hamiltons Recipes - 1909
Just the thing - dainty dishes at small cost - 1899
Larger cookery book of extra recipes - 1891
Leather Manufacture - 1891
Light entertaining - a book of dainty recipes for special occasions - 1910
On Uncle Sam's Water Wagon - 500 recipes for delicious drinks that can be
made at home - 1919
Our candy recipes - 1919
Practical Household Cookery - 1000 recipes - 1891
Preserves and Pickles - 1912
Recipes - dainties, salads and clever hints - 1919
Recipes for the preserving of fruit vegetables and meat - 1908
The Candy Maker's Guide - 1896
The Housekeeper's Friend - 1897
The Hygenic Cookbook - 1881
Tried and Tested Recipes - 1921
Two Hundred and Seventy Five Wartime Recipes - 1918
Two hundred recipes for cooking in casseroles - 1914
Two hundred recipes for making desserts - 1912
War Time Cookery - 1917
Wheatless Recipes - 1918
Wrinkles and Recipes, including farming and household hints - 1877
And here is a list of
the recipe eBooks on the Afrikaans CD:
217 Egte Afrikaanse resepte, Aartappels, Beskuitresepte, Afrikaanse
Resepteverskeidenheid, Brood resepte, Vul die beskuitblik, 'n Broodjie vir
die blik, Blokkieskoek, Burgers Patties Frikadelle, Brood resepte,
Drankies, Drinkgoed, Gemmerbier, Groente, Eet jou groente, Hoender resepte,
Happies en Poffers, Kaaskoek, Ietsie anders resepte, Kerskoeke, Karavaan
resepte, Kleinkoekies, Kinderlekkerte, Koekiedrukker resepte, Koeke,
Likeur, Lekkergoed resepte, Nog resepte, McCain resepte, Moedersdag
Mikrogolf resepte, Peterjasie se boek, Pastageregte, Peterjasie se
Peterjasie se eBoek van vernoemde resepte, Poeding, Peterjasie se
Tradisionele SA resepte
Resepte met biltong, Resepteverskeidenheid - ook grootmaat, Slaaie, Sommer
net resepte, Sop in die pot, Sop resepte, Terte, Sous, Verskeie resepte 1,
Souttert & Pannekoek, Vis en hoender, Veelsydige hoender, Vleisgeregte vir
Kersdag, Verskeie resepte 2, Warm en koue drankies, Vleisresepte, Wille
samies, Wafels en Pannekoeke, Wors en worsies
Annette se Boererate, Boererate en Verbruikerswenke, Hartstigting dieet,
Lennons medikasie, Mate en gewigte, Sop dieet, S A Boererate eBoek,
Metrieke omskakelingstabel, Werk van die huis
Silversands Online casino
We usually go to Carnival City, our local entertainment complex about
twice a month for a movie, a good meal and a flutter at the tables or
machines. Most times it is crowded and my favourite machines are taken.
Then I came across Silversands online casino. You simply sign up, download
some software and you can practice with fun money to your heart's content
before you play with the real thing.
Give it a try,
Click Here .
Children's Stories on CD
Find it hard to get quality children’s stories? Join the popular
Anna Emm Story Club in Afrikaans or English, and start adding to your
child’s CD collection at an early age! Collect al 96 original stories (on
48 CDs!) over 2 years, or join for a minimum of 3 months - you decide!
Receive 2 new CDs with original children’s stories every month! Anna Emm
Productions has already produced more than 500 new children’s stories on
Click here to join . Ideal
gift for children and grandchildren.
Just another reminder to join the Africam fan page on Facebook.
They will be posting photos / videos and other udates and articles on the
fan page from now.
Also visit the Africam
Biltong in Australia?
It's not only the South African immigrants to Australia who are fond of
biltong. More-and-more Australians are finding that biltong made with
South African spices is so much tastier than the simple dried-meat product
they call jerky. That's created a local market for South African spices,
and an opportunity for a Brisbane-based business called Biltongspice.
Biltongspice now supplies a wide range of traditional and new spice
products ideal for making biltong, jerky, droewors, boerewors and similar
meat products. Their products include the Freddy Hirsch, Meister, Crown
National, Aromat and Marina ranges, together with accessories such as
biltong machines and biltong cutters. They also carry the top quality
Protea biltong and droewors products, and ship locally throughout
Australia. See their website
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